Are you good at chasing friends away?

@wundayatta I’m attempting to answer your question, knowing I will not. I think everyone has that potential to chase others away when they are hurting inside. Those who do (chase others away) and those who don’t are separated by treating others like you like to be treated. The Golden Rule. No one likes to be taken for granted. We are all special. Maybe, that is an oversimplication….but, it works for me.

“How can you tell if someone is good or bad for you?”

People trying to push me away? I wouldn’t last long; I go.

I have been there and done that with someone. They constantly tried to push me away (when they really didn’t want to), and I grew tired of it and wasn’t happy. It made me care for them less and I moved on.

Yes, I do it. Frequently.
I hate it.

It’s definitely a defense mechanism. I know that is why I do it, but I am trying to learn to stop.

Why chase them away when simply cutting off all communication with them does the trick.

I can be but I rarely utilize this skill of mine.

Yes. I am good at it. I’ll go into phases with no warning where I cut off all communications with everybody I know. When I get past that, the one or two who stick around are brought forward and the others have cleared out.
It’s like resetting the game. Not saying I’m happy with this cycle or proud of it either, but that’s not what you asked.

I wouldn’t say that I actively chase people away, but I can be distant at times. I don’t mean to do it. It’s like a reflex. I am afraid of letting people get too close lest they hurt me, probably because I grew up in an emotionally cold family environment. I am trying to put an end to this behavior pattern, but it’s hard.

I totally feel you on this one. Chronic pain can really get in the way of relationships. There are a number of websites that address this concern. It is so hard to explain to people the ways that chronic pain and acute pain are different. Everyone has had a headache or some experience of pain so they think they can imagine what it feels like to hurt all the time, but you really can’t unless you have been there. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!

I am, quite plainly because they sort of get freaked out by something I say.
I don’t say it on purpose though

Answering the fourth question first, I can’t tell. So I go by whether or not I like their energy. I figure I wouldn’t like the energy of someone that’s bad for me.
Third. No. I know I don’t. I push away the people I like the energy of.
Second. I push them away because there are lines in my mind. A line between me and each person. I cut each person off, or hold them back, before the line gets crossed.
First. Two reasons: I have no choice; I have to. I’ve had a lot of practice, and practice does make perfect.

I am not good at chasing people away.
I do chase people away though because I want them out of my life.
Yes, I do chase the right people away.
You can tell when people are not good for you when you ALWAYS are stressed. When you end up hating the world, etc. The people that are good for you are the people who make your life easier.

I used to. My sister-in-law and my best friend, mainly. Before I realized how important they are to me, that is. Now, they’re the only 2 people I can talk to for real. I’m glad I don’t have a problem with this because I need to be able to talk to people.

I’m sort of glad I’m not alone and it makes me really sad that I’m not alone. I have had so many opportunities for good relationships with people, and, at a certain point, perhaps when they start to matter to me too much, I start freaking out. Maybe it’s that I don’t want to need them the way I do. I have come to depend on them in my life, to enjoy their company so much and damnit! I seem to keep on pushing them away before they come to matter even more.

Maybe it’s a kind of self-punishment. That kind of thing keeps on haunting me. I thought I’d learned to cope with it and then it turns out I haven’t. I turn down, over and over, opportunities to have things I’ve wanted all my life—both with people and with other kinds of opportunities.

I really blew it the last time. I burned my bridges on what was probably the most important opportunity I ever had. And no one but myself to blame. I make myself sick, both mentally and physically. I wish I could figure out how to get over this fear of having good things in my life.

When someone annoys me, yes I will figure out some way to get rid of them. I have a very low tolerance for b.s.

The good people are the ones that arnt a chore to be around.