What would you look for in a therapist?

I ask them what their philosophy is. Where do they fit in the pantheon of psychology. I ask them how they relate to their patients—looking for a sense of how they interact, how cool or close they are. I ask them if they have dealt with the issues I am presenting, and how much experience they have with it. I ask what kind of degree they have, so I can know the level of training. This doesn’t mean they are better or worse, but it tells me something about their training.

I don’t expect to be able to know how compatible they are in the initial meeting. I just expect to figure out if I’m willing to try a few more sessions with them.

I asked my three questions on the phone before we met.

1. Are you close to my age?
2. Are you Jewish?
3. Can I outsmart you?

The guy laughed, invited me for a try-on session. We never even discussed our compatibility. I made a second appointment and stuck around for six years.

First, see how your gut feels when you meet them. Trust your instincts.

Next, ask questions about how they would see your treatment shaping up what their background is, how long they have been in practice.

If you go into treatment with them and it doesn’t work out, feel free to move on to someone else.

It depends on what I’m trying to do in therapy, mostly.

A good therapist should be willing to give you a ball park idea of how long treatment should take.

An unscrupulous therapist will keep you coming back far too long for the health of your pocketbook.

I would look for someone who is honest and isn’t afraid to insult you and can identify what your problem is and clearly tell you (but I’ve never done it before so I’m only imagining.)

And while we’re at it, when you’re looking, be sure the person you pick is qualified to work with you (you don’t want to be #1)! A good therapist should also be able to tell give you a ball park idea of how long it would take to see results. Although they might not be able to tell you over the phone, they certainly should have an idea after the first visit or two.