What's your strategy when you don't know anybody at a party?

Leave.

Seriously I wouldn’t have any interest in hanging out with strangers.

Use the person who invited you as a gateway to meeting others. They likely know who’s there and would probably be happy to introduce you to others.

Go to the party and begin by introducing yourself… to the strangers. Then ask them a question or two. Once they have answered you, then you can take the conversation further. If you find you don’t have anything in common, move on to someone else.
Above all be confident!!

(This probably should have gone in the description section, but it’s too late now)

I’m asking this question because I was in this situation today: when I arrived at the party there were 8 people. A person I knew turned up a little while after, so it wasn’t too bad. I’m not really looking for advice here, that’s why I put this question in the social section.

Do you seek out people who also look a little lost? Catch strangers around the food table? Slip yourself into an established conversation?

If the only person I know is the host or hostess, I generally ask them if there’s anything I can do to help. Then I look for a person standing by themselves, introduce myself, and ask them how they know the host or hostess, chat for a bit and move on.

it took me a long time to get used to doing it, but if that ever happens to me, I just run around introducing myself to everyone. I begin chit chat and immediately say I “want to introduce myself to everyone and am glad to meet you” before there is an awkward silence and then go introduce myself to the next person (come back to them later). I use techniques I’ve learned about perceived social ranking all the time now, and if done right, after about 15minutes being anywhere, people will be coming to you to chat. I can get into it if you want, but essentially the trick is to appear busy all the time while being very friendly.

Don’ t have a strategy. I just talk to one person at at time and enjoy that conversation.

Sheer animal magnetism. Charisma…you’ve either got it, or….well you know the rest :¬)

I wait until someone is going to the food or drink table and then do the same. I will make some positive comment about the food, drinks, host, and see the response. If positive I’ll introduce myself and the conversation begins. What do you do? Where do you work? What does your company do? How do you know the host?
Generally, I have a great time wherever I go.

It really depends on my mood. There’s a very good possibility that I would just say hello to the host, and then make an early exit. I’m not a very social person.

i do well in small, intimate groups but not well in large crowds. i am actually a social person and people who know me would be surprised, but i get shy when i’m far outnumbered. this is not a good strategy, but my strategy is to keep to myself in a crowd. i will get some food, sit down and eat, and if there’s one or two people nearby we’ll chat. when people leave the party, and there are less, then i do better. i’m really better with one on one, and i can make great conversation that way. i’m not one to “work the room.”

@TheOnlyNeffie : I am a very social and outgoing person but I am always daunted when I don’t know anyone and they know each other. I would probably do what you said. If I plan to go to a party where I can relax with friends, I just don’t want to put the energy into impressing a new group of strangers.

I start by the punch. I’m funny, so I’ll say something like “I’m sure the punch is spiked, but by how much, do you reckon?” Then once they’re laughing (or even if they aren’t), I’ll introduce myself, ask their name and how they know tho host or anyone at the party. After introducing myself, I notice I ask them a lot of questions. People are on much better footing when talking about themselves. It’s not 100%, but that’s OK. Everyone isn’t going to take to me, and some people are having a hard day, or whatever. You can’t take it personally.

I admit I find this strategy hard to use if the person at the punch bowl is a man I find attractive, because in that case, I usually immediately become worried that the man is going to dislike me on sight. All that agita from a party during my first year at uni when I approached a guy. He rolled his eyes at me after I introduced myself, saying “Really?”, as if I had some balls to try to chat the likes of him up, and walked off. I stood there like an idiot while some nearby girls giggled. So embarrassed. I never really tried that again, even though he was being the jerk.

I usually go behind the bar and start serving, people have no choice but to meet me.

I would have a drink to loosen myself up (back in the days when I drank anyway). Then I would approach some strangers and find things we have in common starting with the host.

I would ask them questions and let conversation grow from there.

I would order one drink and wait. after my first drink is gone and none of my known friends have arrived, i would also leave.

Really depends on a few things…

Do I have something better to do than crash a party full of strangers??

Is there anything good there to eat or drink?

What kind of music is playing?

Anything fun or exciting there to do?

Any good art in the house to check out?

Most of all is anybody there obviously funny or interesting I could get to know??

Otherwise hand out the 2 dozen Kazoos I take with me everywhere and set that party on fire!!

Having no friends in the first place, there’s little danger of being invited to the party.

Since the people I know don’t party much anyway, there aren’t that many parties I have to avoid.

If invited, the invitation would be lost in the mail.

If the mail got here, then it would be too late.

If I got the mail in time, then there’d be a problem with the date or time on the invite.

If I got the invitation in time, and an invitation to the right place and time, and showed up, they wouldn’t let me in.

If they let me in, then I’d just have to start drinking heavily. Or join @thekoukoureport behind the bar and serve others while I could still stand.

It seems to me that I’ve answered this question before.

I just introduce myself and let it go from there ;)

@lucillelucillelucille that might work for you, since people are already lining up to introduce themselves to you. Some of us identify with Charlie Brown and his peanut butter sandwich, looking at the little red-haired girl across the yard. And inexplicably tongue-tied when she walks by.

@CyanoticWasp The key is to not give a damn what anyone thinks ;)

I would stay around the bar and chat with whoever joins me there. Someone will, sooner or later.

I’d take a trip to the kitchen, mow down real quick, and book it.

Being mostly introverted, I have left parties early even after having gone with friends. I will definitely leave a party full of strangers, unless there is a very strong chance of a) getting stoned, b) getting laid, or c) some combination of the two, since sadly these are the things I’m usually desperate for.

@lucillelucillelucille isn’t that obvious yet?

My mood, the enviroment and the type of people that would be there is everything with me. I’m usually not very social unless I know someone real good in most situations but certain people upon instinct just seem more inviting or open to me so I make occasional acceptions (I don’t know how else to explain that).

Ironically even though I’m definitely not the most openly social person I actually prefer events with larger random gatherings over the events with a close knit group where I’m not familiar with those few people. Again, especially now at this stage in my life I’m not into the party scene or even into attending events at all so I probally wouldn’t have even attended to begin with.

I mingle.

It’s more fun @CyanoticWasp watching the drinkers drop. I used to tend bar at my dads Christmas parties until one year everyone left at 11:00. He thought it was abecause he threw a lousy party but his friends told him that I got them all smashed. I still laugh to this day. I said I would drink the mistakes, Funny no one gave me their drink back.

I once walked into a frat house at the U of P and went right behind the bar. I had a blast it was so much fun they gave me their 800# to call the next time I was in town. Since I didn’t go to college or know anyone there it was my only hope of meeting anybody. The pledge was happy to get away. Good times good times.

At house parties the kitchen is where I like to be. Where the food is plus I get to look at all the pretty ladies. Wink wink no what I mean?

@CyanoticWasp -;)

I rarely go to parties where I don’t know half the people. If I do, I’m usually with my wife. If I’m on my own, I usually find some food and something non-alcoholic to drink and go sit quietly in a corner consuming my comestibles. People usually don’t bother me, so if I’m in a positive mood, I enjoy watching the people doing what people with social skills do. If I’m feeling lonely or out of place, and am unwilling to look like the pathetic excuse for a man that I am, I’ll find my coat and leave.

It’s a wonder anyone agreed to marry me. Oddly, she hates parties more than I do. It’s amazing how different people can appear online compared to real life.

I pretend to text.

I would never go to/arrive at a party alone. It’s not likely that I would go to a party where I expected that there would be a lot of people that I didn’t know. I hate forced social situations. I prefer parties that are full of family and friends.

If I found myself at one of these parties by myself, I would probably leave very quickly.