[NSFW] How common is frotteurism?

Yes, it happens A LOT.
So though it’s a drag you should try not to worry about it.

Remember this for next time.
Practice, so you can say it loud and clear.
“Hey! Get that off me you Jerk! What the hell is the matter with you?! Pervert!”
Go ahead, say it! I’ll wait…
There’s not one bystander who wouldn’t be on your side. You would be doing society a favor.

Your elbow, heel and/or knee can be 3 of many possible solutions to this issue. Send these scum bags a painful message if this ever happens to you again.

Embarrassment should be felt by the pervert, not by you. Loudly asking “What on earth do you think you’re doing, you filthy little man?” is a sound policy to adopt

I agree with @Cruiser – if it happens again, a nice whack could get him to stop. Plus, if it turns out you were wrong about what was “poking” you, it could be written off as an accident.

I don’t know exactly how common it is, but I always feel cautious on a crowded subway car :(

This has happened to me. Once I was standing on a downtown street and a man walked by and slapped a newspaper right across my crotch. I was just frozen, but he had the filthiest leer on his face.

Another time I was in a ladies room on the toilet and I felt someone looking at me. I looked up and a man was peeking over the stall. I called the police that time. I felt filthy even though it had nothing to do with me.

Warning! This is graphic (no penis appears) but for empowerment, you can’t beat this lady. Here is what you do.

The man was arrested and is being deported back to Mexico.

Once I was crowd surfing at a concert and this bigger guy helped me down. Well he helped by getting a grip on my shoulders with one hand, and on my crotch with the other. I didn’t think much of it at the time, cuz it was a concert and I figured maybe that was just the best spot he could get a grip.

Later I saw his face on the sexual felons list for my area. I didn’t really feel dirty or like I was abused or anything bad… but I was immediately concerned that this guy might be doing far worse.

I thought that is why women kept their nails long and sharp…

It does happen often here on NYC subways – I get so angry at these people, they’re lucky I’m a pacifist.

I am not sure that I would have it in me to knee the guy, but, I would tell the closet biggest dude to me.

This happened to me at a concert and the guy started harassing me after he rubbed himself on me. A huge guy a few rows back saw what was going on and he pushed his way forward to deal with the perv. He grabbed the perv by the shirt and I’m not too sure what he said to him, but, the perv took off.

Reading the comments, I hate the word “ginger” for red hair. Hate it.

I didn’t even know this had a specific name until about 8 months ago. Someone had to tell me what it meant.

Yes,it does happen and the elbow is a great solution.

@lucillelucillelucille I think a taser to the offending organ would be even better.

This is such an unfortunately regular occurrence in Japan that they have sometimes had to designate all-female subway cars. (Very crowded public transportation is obviously a perfect venue for someone looking to do that kind of thing.)

So, yes, it seems very common. Feel free to remorselessly incapacitate the guy however you choose and/or alert people. Just make sure he didn’t do it by accident or that he wasn’t pushed into you, etc.

@marinelife: I love the girl in that video.

I’m surprised this is that common. It’s really a form of assault isn’t it?

Didnt even know it had a name either.

I had a friend who told me about his aunt who had a random stranger sneak up on her in a crowded (pretty shitty) restaurant. He walked up behind her came on her shoulder and then ran out the door….

People are fucked up….

@Adirondackwannabe That’d be great,but I don’t always bring mine with me

I used to work at a stock exchange. there was one of the traders in the trading crowd that rubbed up against all the women. we couldn’t “prove” what was going on, but everyone knew. we had two large guys take him outside for a talk. He kept his distance after that.

It happened to me when I was about 12 in a movie theater…I calmly (after gagging) got up and went and told someone. It was a huge mess and I was quite embarrassed at the end, but the guy got arrested.

I hope if it happens to you again you tell someone or smack the hell out of him!

Yeah, people really are fucked up. In a way, it feels good to know that I don’t have some cosmic “Hey, please rub your erection on me” sign floating above my head. On the other, it’s rather disturbing that this seems to happen with a degree of frequency.

@marinelife – That lady is my hero!

The thing is, when it happened and when I realized what was going on, I was flat-out shocked. Sometimes in dire situations, my brain clicks into very calm, logical mode and I can easily be on top of whatever needs doing, Other times, like these occasions with pervs, wow, it’s a bit emotionally overwhelming.

When I think back, I get so mad. I always think, “I wish I’d realized what I know now and had the guts to whip around, punch the guy as hard as I could in the dick, and then scream really loud.” (and I’m Xena, so you know I can punch pretty hard) I’d like to think that if it happened now, especially as much as I’ve thought about these instances and what should have happened, that I could make a huge scene and be that awesome subway lady!!

@absalom – Just… wow.
@uberbatman – My jaw literally dropped when I read that. I don’t even have words. I don’t think there would be enough showers in the world to scrub the memory of that off of me. Ugh.
@mama_cakes & @marinelife – I’m sorry that you had to experience this. It feels really awful, scary, gross, and an overwhelming mix of things. (also, I think if someone was peeking over the stall at me, I would freak out like no one’s business!)

@Everyone – The stories and support were very helpful and appreciated. I’d love to hear more, if anyone cares to share, especially stories where justice was served (subway lady!).

It happens all the time at concerts where there is standing room only and no seats. After the first time it happened, I learned to “accidentally” step on people’s toes, elbow them and wear my backpack so they can’t get so close. You can usually tell the dudes who are gonna try it, they’re usually by themselves (instead of with a group of male friends or a girlfriend) and they just start sidling up to you and getting closer. I’ve also had to say (loudly) “Dude, you’re crowding me, can you back up a little bit!!!” I’ve also had to go to the bouncer to tell them that there’s a “poker” in the crowd and they usually get the dude to move away from the women.

I agree it happens all the time at music concerts, sometimes by accident but mostly because guys know close proximity is an excuse to “share the vibe”. I’m short and have really bony elbows so when I make sudden movements out of “surprise” then soft bellies and ticklish ribs get the jab!

I was a rather pretty boy, slender and girlish in figure with q prominent butt. It happened to me. I had never told anyone about that till right now.

Every few months here in Boston we have another round of some frotteur doing his or her thing on the MBTA subway trains when they are jammed packed. Now that I am a rasty-looking old breaded man, I go out of my way in croiwded subway cars to make sure I do nothing that might be mistaken for it. The T has security cameras in all the trains, and they eventually zero in on and bust the perpetrators.