A big old fella in a red & white suit & a beard approaches you, slaps you on the back wishing you a merry christmas, your reply is?

He gets kicked in the snowballs. ;)

“You didn’t have to touch me…”.
“Happy Holidays”.
“You’re aware christmas is BS, right?”

I’d be checking my back for the Kick Me sign. I know it’s there. It’s always there. It has to be there. Else how to explain all these kicks?

Your suit is the same color as my academic regalia. When I graduated med school, our gowns were red and white (alma mater colors) with green stripes for medicine. We looked like walking Christmas trees!

“You know, I asked for a stable economy last Christmas…and…”

“Whoa! You scared the s*!t outta me. So much for a merry christmas now”.
Then I would check my purse and back pocket to make sure he wasn’t trying to clip me.:p

A small tear welled in the corner of my eye…he slaps hard! I was just relieved he didn’t ask me to sit on his lap. Ho Ho Ho…....No No No!! :¬(

“Why thank you Santa, and a Merry Christmas to you as well! Any luck talking my husband into giving me another baby?”

Slap him on the back, laugh, headbutt him as hard as i can, then offer him to drink blood wine with me in honour of the klingon empire, then tell him i want a batleth for x-mas

Check to make sure my wallet was still there!

Karate throw him onto the floor with his arm twisted up and back. Hold him down while I search his (grimaces) sack for something good. Flip him over, one foot on his throat while I beat my chest and issue a primal scream.
Deep breath, come back to self, give him a hand up, brush him off. Admonish him not to slap people on the back like that. Someone else might not be so nice about it. ;-)
Ask if I can sit on his lap….

“I don’t like Christmas. You look like someone who wears really stupid clothes. So, where did you run away from? And…. why haven’t they caught you yet? Anyway….” I punch him in the face and then ”....merry Christmas, sucker.”

Just kidding. I’d probably say something like “Fuck off, uh?”

“Yo Santa, thanks for keeping up the illusion for the younger generation. Even though us grown ups know you’re not real, we still want the kiddies to have something to believe in until they realize you’re as genuine as the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. And Merry Christmas to you also. Say hi to Rudolph for me and go easy on the egg nogg.”

Happy Holidays

“Get fucked!”

just being honest

Immediate reaction without thinking would be to scream and hit him in the face. Not like I would realize he was just wishing me a merry Christmas.

“WHO THE FU- Oh, it’s you.”

Fuck off, asshole!

Eh not much…I’m in Montréal every day, almost, and weird shit always happens there so…

Sit down, I need you knee!!!

OK, I have been a bad girl this year, so I want…

“Merry Consumeristmas!”

Merry Christmas!!

Merry spankmas?!