How do you get over the fear of driving?

I don’t know, fear is a good warning for something dangerous. Let your fear, remind you to be careful but don’t let it govern you. As far the anxiety goes, you may need to seek treatment (therapy or medication) if it’s severe.

Were you in an accident before?

I didn’t start driving until I was 28 years old. I got my permit when I was 27.. because I was afraid of it. I saw how terrible people drive and I was afraid I would get into an fatal accident. What forced me to start doing it was a change in my job scope where I had to start driving or potentially be let go for not being able to complete my job duties. I’ve been driving since August this year and now that I’m doing it, I don’t know why I waited so long…. sure there is still the risk I could be in a accident (fatal or otherwise) but if its my time.. I guess its my time.

It’s very normal to be afraid of driving when you first start doing it. I used to have nightmares about it when I first got my license. Driving is dangerous! And moving at speeds that fast feels unnatural, I think.

But you will be surprised by how adaptable your brain is. I’m guessing during the two years you spend getting comfortable driving at slower speeds, you avoided driving unless you absolutely had to do it, right? But the more you did it, the more comfortable you got?

Highway driving is the same thing. The more time you spend doing it right, the less it will bother you, until it becomes totally second nature. Maybe in the mean time, try to avoid busy or crowded highways, or highways during rush hour, so you can get your practice in with the least possible stress.

Lots of luck. Keep us posted.

I drove for a number of years and though I never had an accident the thought of an accident was always at the back of my mind. I think this is quite normal. Now I don’t drive and I feel more comfortable taking the bus or the train. In the United States I don’t know if public transport would be an option. Interstates are statistically the safest roads though on very long journeys I found the problem to be drowsiness.

I was a passenger in a car accident the day before my DL test (I failed it and I had to take it again 2 weeks later)

One thing that would be a great help with the fear and anxieties is to take a driving course, the teach you what to expect and what to do with the unexpected… I took two when I got my licence (one Civi one military) and they helped a lot.

I worked up a terrific fear of driving after being a complete failure at Driver Ed in high school, and I didn’t try again until I was 40.

What helped me get past my fear and go ahead with lessons was thinking of something that I feared more than driving (as it happens, it was a long airplane flight) to help make it look less scary by comparison. Also I was responsible for young children and needed to be a competent driver for their sake.

The first time my driving instructor took me on the freeway, I was almost blind with panic. I gestured toward the stream of speeding cars and asked him, “Are all those other guys scared too?”

“If they’re smart, they are,” he said.

It took me a good year to settle down and become just a bit more relaxed as a driver, and more than a year to get comfortable on the freeway. I had to do a lot of self-coaching (sometimes talking myself through situations out loud and reciting things my instructor had said to me) and also remember to concentrate whenever things got tough. I would not even talk to anyone while merging onto the freeway. I still don’t.

“Comfortable,” I say. I’m never really comfortable. Instead I’m very careful and watchful. I never forget that I’m controlling a heavy and very lethal machine and that I’m out there on the road with stupid people, old people, crazy people, sick people, angry people, aggressive people, careless people, and every other kind of people, including some who are driving for the first time. If I never quite stop being scared, I don’t think I will get sloppy.

When I first got my permit, my mom had me drive through our neighborhood – which was a no-outlet neighborhood where all the kids that I babysat played in the street all the time – to the first street you get to, which is a state highway, during rush hour. Yeah, that was my first time driving. I refused to drive for a year. Then my father took me to a deserted parking lot on a Saturday a year later and had me just drive around the parking lot, then onto the back streets, gradually working up while there was no one around.

If you’re having problems with the trauma from the car crash, you may want to consider getting some EMDR for it.

Well, @Carly, now you’re statically less probable for another accident for some time. Of course an accident would make you feel unsafe and especially since you are a new driver. Take your time, driving is not a bowl full of cherries. I have never been in a bad accident but I’ve avoided many, heck I was hit by a car once when I was a pedestrian and I was ok. The safety features of most cars are pretty decent. Wear your seat belt, pay attention and you should be fine. Don’t panic.

You just have to keep at it and push yourself a little further once you become comfortable with one aspect of it. Move a little farther but don’t push yourself to far unless you’re ready because it can be dangerous for you and other people on the road if you are afraid or uncomfortable driving. And try to discover periods of really light traffic where you live. There are times of the day and evening where there are very few people on the roads and those might be the best times to get out there and try driving in situations you might not be all that comfortable in.

If you want to learn how to drive at a speed over 50, try going out on a highway or interstate at 2 or 3 in the morning on a weekday. There won’t be a lot of people around and its less likely than a weekend for those people who are around to have been drinking. Of course, prepare for this by taking a nap or whatever you need to do to be awake and alert for this experience. Repeat as necessary until you’re able to drive at a speed that makes sense for the highway or interstate. Avoid it during high traffic hours (rush hours, holiday travel times), but slowly work on driving when there are more and more people until you can stand driving in what can be a stressful situation for anyone. The main thing about all of this is simple. You CAN do this. You are capable of working on your anxiety and finding a way to address what scares you in a way that feels safe. If you need to, go talk to a therapist about it and work out a plan to address your anxiety and to work on learning to handle your vehicle and yourself on the road.

Maybe train yourself a bit by playing a driving type of video game (a lot). The goal would be to “drive” reasonably fast and not crash. That will help you get used to seeing things go by relatively fast. Also will help you “feel” the effect of turning the steering wheel [must play game with steering wheel controller]. Airplane pilots do this all the time, esp. early in their flying classes.

Then drive a real car on quiet days, e.g. Sunday morning. Graduate up to more busy days.

@RocketGuy lol Learning to drive from a video game is not always a great idea

You drive until you’re not afraid anymore.

Practice, practice, practice. Go places where you feel safe and drive as much as possible.

Stop driving when you aren’t afraid!

Oh man, I was absolutely terrified of driving two years ago. In fact, I only learned because my mother forced me to take lessons, which I loathed. And after that I only drove to pass my driver’s test and get my license. I went a whole year without getting behind the wheel of a car, although my mom did force me to drive home from the store and whatnot a few times. I was so scared to drive that I believe I was the only nineteen year old in the world who did not want a car when my parents proposed that I get one. Well, I’ve had my car for a year and a half now and I am no longer terrified to drive. I feel like I drive better because of it too because I don’t over think things and I’m not as tense. The only way I got over my fear though was because I had to. My parents live overseas so as a college student I have to be able to drive myself to the airport or relative’s houses for the holidays and whatnot. My advice is to just drive. I found that I learned more on long car trips because I was able to get more comfortable behind the wheel as time went on. Also, I find highway driving a lot easier because it’s not stop and go and you don’t have to watch for cars turning and such. On the interstate, just don’t freak out. Check your mirrors and windows when merging and as long as you stay alert, you’ll be fine. Oh, and never let someone pressure you at a stop sign or to turn on red or whatever. If you’re not comfortable going, then wait. I know I probably wait a bit too long but better safe than sorry.

So long story short, my advice is to make yourself drive. That’s all you can do. Sure it’s scary and nerve wracking but it’s the only thing that worked for me. Just plain out having to do it.

Try playing some video games, they’ll help your coordination and speed perception.

I try to keep a tad faster speed then the cars next to me (up to a certain speed) because it gives me more control of the situation. But never accelerate more than you need to, you should never break after acelerating.—

In a bigger car you will feel more safe.

Take more buses, walk and bike to work this winter and you will appreciate driving more lol.

Just keep at it. Familiarity with your vehicle & being on the road is the only way.

I still don’t know how I managed to get through my (70) driving lessons to pass (which took me 2 attempts). I hated every minute of it!! I was petrified every lesson and felt sick constantly. The only thing to do is literally just keep going. I’ve been driving for 6 years now and I now feel totally comfortable at the wheel but after about three years I felt confident. It takes a long time. Well for me anyway. It’s totally worth it though… if you don’t mind the expense :-)

@Blackberry i understand why you would say that, but the thing is I’m so used to walking and riding my bike everywhere that I feel more comfortable doing that instead of driving.

I’d recommend not driving, particularly in light of your inexperience and the danger you may pose to others because of your phobia. At the very least, other drivers will likely find you frustrating and the resultant honking will only make things worse for you.

@Carly I would say that if you choose not to drive because you prefer walking, biking for other reasons then I would salute your choice. However, I don’t think being afraid of something is a good reason not to do it. You ultimately have to weigh up the pros and cons for you. Driving opens up all sorts of possibilities, not in the least the sheer convenience and independence you gain. I’m sure there are people that just never get used to driving but I would imagine they are rather uncommon.

Perhaps rather than listening to comments like the previous, (which personally I think is truly unhelpful…perhaps other drivers should learn to be a little more patient???) you might like to think about advanced driving course. Here in the UK you can take a further set of driving lessons which teach you more about confident driving and driving on motorways, driving in difficult weather etc. Something to think about anyway, all the best xx