Is it right to throw yourself a baby shower for your 4th child?

They can throw a baby shower. And you don’t have to do anything about it. Girl things are different than boy things, so it’s not totally crazy.

To me it seems like an excuse to beg for gifts. ;)

You should go, and give the biggest pack of condoms you can find….

@coffeenut HA HA HA HA! but seriously, the shower is rather rude, one is not supposed to throw showers for oneself. but if you go to “keep peace” then a small present (maybe a “onesie” for new born?), don’t spend too much, there is no need to compete.

What does your husband say? It’s his side of the family He should be supporting you.

It is not appropriate to throw your own baby shower.

From storknet:

“Throwing your own shower
Q. Is it okay to throw yourself a shower? I have several kids and am expecting triplets. I’ve never had a shower before.

A. It’s true that “proper etiquette rules” have relaxed a great deal since Emily Post, especially for baby showers. However, in the world of baby shower etiquette, most people would consider it really tacky to host your own shower. Showers can be given by most anybody these days but are usually hosted by a girlfriend or a grandma-to-be. If you have enough friends and relatives to attend a shower, I bet someone among that group will throw one for you. If you don’t hear of any plans, try dropping some subtle hints.”

From Baby Center:

“Who should throw the baby shower?

Anyone except the expectant couple — though Miss Manners might disagree. Formal etiquette says that someone who’s not a relative must throw the shower to avoid having it look as though the family is asking for presents.”

Perhaos you should send these to her in an anonymous email, although I doubt someone with her chutzpah will pay any attention.

I’ve always felt squicky about people throwing their own gift garnering parties but like others say, you don’t have to go. Maybe she doesn’t have friends or family who offered to throw one for her? I dunno for sure but in my experience then people usually have a shower for each kid, no matter how many.

If it were me then I’d get a gift like normal, like I would if someone else had thrown the shower for the sister-in-law.

Plead a conflict, drop off a gift of some pink bibs and booties, and don’t give it another thought.

Normally, i would say no to your answer. i agree that people should not throw their own anything. it souunds like they have no friends and maybe a little greedy, if they do..

But, since this is their first girl baby, i would agree to the girl baby shower, as long as someone else throws the party and not the parents.

@john65pennington I was tempted to be okay with it because it is their 1st girl, but when they decided to throw it themselves, that’s what threw me over the edge.

You and I have already talked about this so you know I already agree that it’s completely tacky. If I were in your situation, I would probably not go. I might worry a little about the tension caused by my not going, but I probably would just sit my ass at home and refuse to give in to gift begging. And probably, with my cranky mouth, if anyone asked me why I didn’t go, I’d tell them the truth.

BTW, welcome back love. Come back more often! (((HUGS)))

C’mon you guys… yes it’s kind of tacky but when it comes down to it, it’s still a baby shower for a new baby and aren’t most babies given one? If the SIL had sent out invitations with a dress code, restaurant to show up to (pay your own way) and list of specific gifts wanted then I think that would warrant a passive agressive, white lie delivered no show.

Well… I think its kind of weird that they are throwing their own shower, but not that they are having one. I think its perfectly fine to have a shower for every child you have, because its basically just a celebration over the baby (even though usually it is thrown by someone else). As far as the other part, you don’t have to like your SIL or agree with how she is living her life, but she is still family… and that’s what families do, they’re there for each other.

It depends on the situation….first kid of the gender does make it okay….but its weird to throw it yourself, and invites should be sure to note its “celebrating their first female child, gifts aren’t expected but would be appreciated” your description of the whole scenario makes me dislike greedy mom to be and I say show up with an inexpensive gift (outfit or something) plus a gag gift….maybe she will take the hint….

On a related note I begged my mother to throw my baby shower because I was a total pregzilla and wanted it just my way so I had her announce her plan to throw one before anyone else got the chance…in my defense I was 100% sure I was only having one child and was the most unbridezilla ever