Men in their 30's to 50's - date "rule of thumb": women half their age, plus seven years?

Never heard of such a thing. Is that really some kind of unspoken rule somewhere?

It’s what I’ve read. If this is the first you’ve heard of it – what do you think of it offhand?

I don’t think there’s any rules. I’ve come across fascinating women of all ages. It’s one of the appeals of fluther. I’d better add of legal age or I’m in trouble.

From askville: This is an often-repeated “rule” of dating that goes as follows: To determine the youngest person you should date, take one half of your age, and add seven years – you shouldn’t date anyone younger than that. Of course, it’s not a real “rule” in any sense of the word, as people may be able to get around it and have a good relationship, but it’s something interesting to think about.

One reason why it has some merit is that it gives a varying scale based on age. A 24 year old would have 19 as the youngest she should date, while a 50 year old would be able to date someone as young as 32. This way, the older you get, the wider your available age range of dating pools is, which is a good way to look at things.

I rather like the rule (inadvertently) proposed by a friend of mine when confronted with the very real possibility of a relationship with a woman way to young for him. He said:

“I generally make it a point not to date anyone younger than my belt.”

So… or course I did what any good friend would. The next gift giving occasion I bought him a new belt!

Hmm, well, as a woman, I must admit the last gentleman I dated (and he really is a gentleman) was twice my age + seven years… not quite the same!

I don’t think it makes any sense. I think two consenting adults should date if they want to date. Period. Whether or not you have enough in common is between the individuals.

I’ve heard of that rule, but take no stock in it. If I find someone facinating to me at any age, providing they are an adult, I would see them.

There are no age limitations on dating. it does not matter if the man is older or younger. the point is being happy together. should a 65 year old man date a woman age 21, or vice versa? sure, if they can both close their generation gap.

It’s pretty sad that people make up rules like that but I suppose they work for some people, for some reason.

This rule is about trying to be socially acceptable. How big a gap can you have before people raise their eyebrows?

If your goal is to keep everyone’s eyebrows down, then it makes sense. If your goal is to lead you own life, then the rule is a piece of crap.

Let thy heart be the measure.

I’ve never heard of this but I doubt there would be many men complaining to try it out.

I’ve heard that go BOTH ways… Men aren’t the only ones dating younger, anymore. :)

Like most people mentioned, age is nothing but a number. Do what you’re comfortable with.

To be honest, I’m more of a “never date someone whose too young to be an actual parent to your kid” kinda gal.

I’ve not encountered this rule before but I do like it.

My own personal rule (if I were single and dating) would be not to date anyone who’s closer in age to my daughter than they are to me.

@YoBob: I like your friend’s rule. Wondering if that rules me out of my husband’s life, though?!?

Aa long as both are of legal age and of equal emotional maturity, it doesn’t matter, does it?

Rule of thumb: a guideline… not an actual “rule”. Just saying, Daloon.

Lurve ya.

@seazen if you replace every instance of “rule” with “guideline,” there is not one whit of difference in what I said. Go for it, sea Zen.

Hey – I’ll take an 18 year old if I could convince one… legal is the rule of thumb for me.

@seazen Oh come on. An 18 year old would mistify you. You wouldn’t really know what to do with her. But a 40 something… you would be wonderful with.

@chyna Oh, I bet he could think of something to do with an 18 year old. ;-)

@wundayatta But the question is, what do they do after the chaffing sets in?

@papayalily Sleep?

@wundayatta That answers what Zen would do, not the 18 year old.

@papayalily Oh, I’m sure she has a friend or two that wants to get blasted at some bar and then moon the papparazzi. Or practice tying each other to the rail road tracks.

You kinda had to have listened to the client I had today to get the full flavor of that.

@wundayatta Ok, I’m with you right up until the train tracks. Then, whaaaaaaat?

Oh, I had a researcher that was looking at adolescent risk-taking activity visit me today. I.e., do adolescents take more risks when in a group of peers or alone. The answer is a big DUH, but that’s how it is in academia. You have to totally nail down some piece of information that everybody already knows.

I mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time. You know?

@wundayatta So it’s not about the train tracks, it’s about the risk. Did train tracks actually come up?

@papayalily Why are you getting all serious on me?

No. No train tracks. That was just my imagined stupid thing that a bunch of 18 year old girls might do if they were sufficiently plowed.

In no way does this represent any attribute that @seazen may or may not have.

@wundayatta Sorry, I just… I actually knew a girl who did lay down on the train tracks once. Just for kicks. Sometimes I like to reminisce about sex with her.

I wouldn’t mind a 40 year old and an 18 year old. Chaffing is good.

I like trains. Just saying.

@seazen I’d give you her number, but she’s completely insane. Like, makes Girl, Interrupted look really normal.

She would still be about 5000–10,000 miles away from me, depending on the time zone.

@seazen Hey, maybe you’re hard up enough to catch a plane. I don’t presume to know.

True that. The part about your not presuming to know.

@seazen HA!

Rubbish. I would have to be at least 3 years older if this were the case.

@Leanne1986 So you are agreeing? ;-)

@seazen I love an older man How old is Sean Connery exactly? I’d like to be very dirty with him!

@Leanne1986 80.

@papayalily Shit! Really. Just call me Anna Nicole then!

@Leanne1986 You might be thinking of him from 10 or 20 years ago – have you seen him more recently? It’s not hard to believe he’s that old.

@papayalily I can’t remember when I last saw him, still 10 years ago his was still 70 odd!

Shit – I’d do Sean Connery.