You are generally happy - then something makes you instantly sad - what is it?

As surprising as it may come from me; having no one to talk to out of the blue.

As for the contrary, usually something new to mess with that I find or get out of nowhere; video game, a book, a movie, something like that.

Seeing an animal sick/suffering. A child in pain. An elderly person lonely.

Opposite? Spending time with my niece, making my students laugh, and my girl making me laugh.

You! (Couldn’t help myself)

Seriously? The thought of my sister dying or being kidnapped.

This always has the opposite effect.

Bee stings always have that affect on me.

“I was raised to believe that how you choose to live your life is a sin. I want to help you…and want you to know that I still love you as a person.”

I try not to dwell on the fact that 20,000 people starve to death every single day of the year – or two mothers would strap their children into strollers and then walk away while their house burned down – or a 14 year old boy could stab an 18 month old baby 10 times.

When I read stuff like that, I search out good news, like our local community center received so many donations of new clothes, toys and food, they had to expand the collection area, or some neighbors came together and helped an elderly man put his decorations up after he said he can’t do it anymore.

The good news out numbers the bad, but not as much attention is given, because it doesn’t sell the news.

I am normally content unless any reference is brought up about this gal I know, then my…“heart” suddenly takes a flop and I guess I am actually heartbroken over her.

I have to take my big old dog to the vet Monday morning and I know I may not be bringing him home again except in an urn. It makes me instantly sad.

@YARNLADY You made me see something. I was about to disagree with you about how the good outweighs the bad, but then you said that the bad gets more attention than the good. As far as I know, that’s so true. Thanks for the hope. :)

When a problem or question arises that I can’t immediately solve or answer I beat myself up and I feel like a total retard for a while. Then I’m OK again. I generally feel good and rarely feel not OK for short periods and also sometimes for short periods I feel super terrific.

Endorphins

@seazen there is so much negative stuff in this World for a person to stay happy is impossible. But, having said that, as long as my family is okay, I’m okay. Somehow, we block the other stuff out.. well, i do.

Seeing a dead animal on the road.
Seeing a homeless person.
Seeing my little dog limp on his crippled foot when it acts up.
The porch light not turned on.
Finding my mom’s scratch paper where she’s been budgeting.

@rooeytoo That made me instantly sad. I’ll be thinking of you and your beloved dog.

@rooeytoo ; What she ^^^ said. I’ll be thinking of you.

Seeing a person or animal suffer.
Laughing babies make me instantly happy So does chocolate :)

Generally, if I transition from happy to sad in an instant, it can be caused by receiving bad news that involves my family, relatives, or friends. That happened a couple of times this past year so I’m hoping 2011 will be brighter and better for everyone. I can also get sad sometimes, and depressed even, just by watching the news and hearing about all the problems and miseries plaguing people and countries the world over.

ASPCA commercials.
The opposite would be if someone blasts some Slayer from a stereo.

What makes me instantly happy is when my 1 year old daughter starts acting silly or trying to talk to me… mostly because when I’m not happy it’s because I’m insanely frustrated with her not eating or not sleeping, lol.

What makes me instantly unhappy? When I’m enjoying time alone because my daughter is finally asleep for the night, and my girlfriend’s cat goes sit outside of my daughter’s door and cries and cries for no reason other than to piss me off.

happy= autumn leaves and jack o lanters
unhappy dog poo and bills

Instantly sad- thinking about my second grade son being bullied. He has struggled with that on and off, this school year.

Conversely, hearing either of my children break into a giggle.

@cak Welcome to the thread – always nice to see you. May I ask why he is bullied, or rather, is there a “real” reason (never a good reason, i.e., for bullying – I meant real in the sense that children who are mean pick on heavier, slower, or gay kids e.g. – like my other question about the boy who took his own life – I am still in shock.)

@season: My son is smaller than all the other kids in his class, he’s good at sports- but slower when running. That is a target in 2nd grade. The other thing that seems to make him different is his reading and math are at a different level than the other kids- he’s faster and finishes faster. These things make him different. If you stand out, you are a target. All he wants to do is fit in, be friends. He does have friends, but there are a handful that have deemed him different.

As a mother, I’d rather have cancer again, and another anureysm than to see him go through this in school. There are so many things we can do, ultimately, we can’t control all situations. I have not been quiet about it, I will not sit by and let it go unchecked. I am rapidly finding out that some parents don’t view this as harmful behavior. It sickens me when I figure this out, then I ask them to explain it to my son. Explain that the cruel things their sons say to my son don’t impact his life. When I had to explain that he wanted to switch classes, due to things he’s experienced, they act shocked. Some people are in complete denial about the impact these things have on others. What may seem trivial to them, just could be the thing that pushes someone to edge.

We really reinforce to our son that he just has to continue being himself and that unfortunately; everyone won’t always get along. He’s a bit better at this, but there is still that hesitation he has about certain things in school. A seven year old child should never have that fear. It’s heartbreaking to see it on his face, or in his eyes.

I am proud of him, he doesn’t give up. He gets out there and keeps on going. He may want to quit, but he just keeps trying.

@cak Yes, it is heartbreaking, and in my own experience, it’s something I personally never completely got over. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18 to punish my family for not noticing how much pain I was in from the constant school bullying. When I read about your son, I briefly had a flashback to that pain. Could some professional counseling help?

@cak Personally, I think he’ll end up okay, if not great later on. Just provide him with love and support and as long as he has a few good friends, he should be great.

I was in a similar boat as your son. I was the outcast at school, I was thought to be peculiar and a nerd for being able to read and do math faster than all the other kids, and I was also a slow runner which left me left out in many activities on the playground. I wasn’t welcome to games of tag, kickball, and several other games. And was actually beaten up several times for being a “weirdo.”

Fortunately I did have a few friends that were very close, and that helped, I learned – as I hope your son does – that even one loyal and trustworthy friend is worth more than a multitude of friends who are simply your friend because you are not different or have something that interests them.

By the time high school rolled around, I had developed quite a few friends, and participated in sports such as swimming, wrestling, and water polo (things that don’t require running all that much) and was more or less proficient in all three sports. Kids actually respected me more since I was able to do well in academics and athletics unlike their kindergarten-5th grade counter parts who called me a freak for doing better than them at academics, and a wuss for not being able to run fast.

Today, I’m a cadet at West Point, and I would guess that most people would say that I turned out well, and I thank having a few amazing friends for not making me become a bitter introvert who hates everything (I just ended up being a nihilist, but I have had views leaning that way since day one so that’s more attributed to genetics I guess than anything).

So if your son has a few good friends, and supportive parents (the latter I lacked quite a bit of), I’m sure he will be able to shine brilliantly and eventually, he’ll get the proper respect he deserves from his peers.

PS: If you could get him into a GATE or TAG program (or something of the like) that may help him to be around others who are similar to him who are also probably very willing to be friends and provide healthy and friendly competition.

Perhaps this has made you feel a bit better or not too worried about your son, and if it doesn’t seem all too coherent, I apologize, I’m in the process of crashing from a sugar fueled adrenaline rush from earlier today.

My dad beating my mom in front of me, my dad threatening my mom’s life constantly, my dad disappearing and never paying child supprt, my dad visiting my cousin in the hospital but not me when I was in the hospital, knowing my dad threw me at my mom when I was 5 months old and needed to have surgery, being 3 years old and being picked up by the Cleveland police and taken to the bridge my dad was threatening to jump from, knowing my mom once had $10,000 from a car accident and it was all eaten away for her or her boyfriend’s drugs when it should have been saved for my college fund, my step-father treating me like a red-headed step child – children should be seen and not heard – hating me for being from someone else’s seed, my parents denial of things that went on when I was younger, my inability to resolve these chlldhood traumas without their validation beyond, “Yeah, we screwed up, but we did the best we could and then that never happened” – when it did, my mom staying with that SOB after he cheated on her and was caught like the scum he is, my mom being a bitch and not liking my girlfriend to hurt me and to show me what it feels like to be with someone that she doesn’t like because I don’t like my step-father even though my girl didn’t verbally, mentally, emotionally and psychologically abuse her for 25 some years of her like – unlike my step-father with me. My parents thinking I am having vivid dreams or hallucinating my past (really hurts because my long term memory is damn near photographic), My mom telling me from an early age, knowing what all we’d been through with my dad, that I can go live with him and when she compares me to him – he’s bipolar, schizophrenic and has PTSD and I do not. Looking back at my life and knowing I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 5 and put on meds when I was 13 because I was always the problem because something is wrong with me, in my mom’s eyes. My 1st time not going home for Xmas because it is too painful for me to be around my family when I can do no right and all they do is attack me. She cried and screamed at me on the phone a few nights ago and ended up hanging up on me, all hysterical, talking about how she didn’t raise me this way and I’ve written her off, but I haven’t. I just need time. I wanna shoot myself for Xmas :(

Seeing a homeless person.

@seazen: sorry, I spelled your name wrong. I’m on the itouch and it corrected your name!

@yarnlady: luckily, we already had a family therapist to help all of us cope with the craziness in our lives, so we had him start talking about his school issues. He’s started making progress and also he has a strong support system with us, his family. I didn’t hesitate enlisting support for him, his emotional and mental well-being are just as important as his physical health.

Hearing your experience and being able to see the strength you exhibit in your answers is very encouraging. I’m sorry you experienced this, as well.

@winters: Thank you for your suggestions. I’m checking into those programs, I’ve never heard of them before; but google is my friend!

What you said about having trustworthy, loyal friends is something we are hoping he is learning from what we discuss. It has been a struggle to get him to the point where he understands that he really doesn’t have to be friends with everyone.

Congratulations to you and wishing you continued success.

@cak Thank you, and I wish your son the best.

@cak Figures. It’s one of the reasons why I chose it – sounds like season. Plus the Zen. Plus the sea.

Completely agree with you about kids… they sometimes know just what to say and at just the right moment to turn your sadness into a moment of laughter or happiness… its pretty amazing what a keen sense they have for what others around them are feeling! It always makes me happy when my four year old little boy tells me how much he loves me! Nothing beats that.

My parents hurt me and my memories of the past make it a bittersweet “happiness” lately.