That feeling was one of the first signs I had of my struggles with mental health. It was exactly today, three years ago, and I was supposed to be singing some carols on the street corner, and this feeling of anxiety came over me and nearly made me sick. I had to lie down and my wife said I didn’t have to go to the sing.
I thought someone had died, so I called my parents to be sure they were ok. A week later I found out an old colleague of mine had received the news that he was going to die within the week around the time I had that feeling. It was too weird. I even asked a question about it.
A few months later I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I figured that must have been one of the first signs. Our brain chemistry goes awry sometimes and it can cause us to feel things for not externally identifiable reason.
The problem with such feelings is that we insist they have a cause. We are not used to feeling things for no reason. So we tend to create a cause. Almost anything will do. The holiday season and stresses thereof. The death of someone far away. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
Since brain chemistry is such an unsatisfying answer to a feeling that is so strong, beware of that impulse to try to make it have meaning. Remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be about anything. It’s just an extraneous feeling. It’s unpleasant, of course, but nothing more than that. Try not to link it to anything that happens, because surely something will happen.
The other thing to do is to feel it, and say to yourself ‘how interesting’ and then let it go—again without attaching any particular meaning to it. It is this meaning making and attempt to explain these events that makes us crazy (not mentally ill, just crazy). We do it to ourselves.
Even if there is a reason for the anxiety—and you can choose anything—this advice still works. By far, the worst damage that comes from anxiety is obsessing about it instead of letting it go. This is true whether the anxiety has a real world reason or not. Most often, there is little or nothing you can do about a situation. Worrying doesn’t help. Someone recently had a quote about that that is brilliant, but I can’t remember it.
So use meditation techniques to calm your mind and focus on other things and let it go. It really doesn’t help you. Fight or flight instinct, except it doesn’t work well in modern society. You may want to run, but where? Anxiety, these days, follows us everywhere. The only way to deal with it is to do something constructive or to let it go.