When is it ever about you?

After a lifetime serving the needs of others first, I have quite a bit of time for myself now. I haven’t found the best way to adjust. I so appreciate it…but, need help making the most of it.

It’s always about me, especially when I am doing for others. To be in relationship and to provide service for others is the greatest source of meaning in my life.

I know what you mean, but what you do IS all about YOU, if you can manage to look at it that way. You can find private time that is really just about you in the shower or bath, vacuuming, cooking, walking the dog, reading a book (although I find it hard to find time for that). It may not be long stretches of time, but that’s not the life you chose for yourself. And forget about the judgments of others. Don’t do what YOU do because others expect it of you. Do what YOU do because that’s what you want to do! Am I making any sense to you? Most of us have responsibilities we must fulfill when we share our lives with others, but don’t lose sight of yourself. Find something you can do by and for yourself (exercise, needlework, artwork, whatever YOU find rewarding or relaxing). Then start doing it a little at a time until you do have more time to yourself. Eventually the kids will leave and you’ll find plenty of time to do whatever you want to. To start, when the whole family is at home, announce that you are going to take a bubble bath and you want 30 (45?) minutes to yourself without interruption. Ask your husband or SO to tend to the kids. Then DO it! And good luck. I think you need a different perspective and a quiet, but insistent voice.

I need alone time, time to do what I want to do with no strings pulling me in any other direction. I love exercising with my young dog. Just about everyday we either go for a run or she runs beside my bike or she will pull me on the wheeled training sled. I love sitting on the beach all by myself, sometimes with a book, sometimes just contemplating the movement of the water. I enjoy being on the computer, fluthering or just surfing. To me this is all alone time, me time and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The wee hours of the morning, while most are asleep, and after my overnight shift on Fluther is done. I’ll catch up on facebook, sometimes, or play some silly computer games for about a half hour to an hour. Then, a little reading with my last cigarette before I go to bed for the day. It’s my favorite time, and I so miss it if I don’t have it.

It’s about me during yoga, tango and post tango saturday night late night/early morning hanging out by myself when everyone’s asleep.

The times I go to the nail salon and fall asleep in the massage chair. The salon owner lets me sleep and snore away for about a half hour or 40 minutes before waking me up to have my hands worked on.

My days off in the month when others are at work early in the morning and I can do things like soak in the bathtub, try on all my clothes in the closet to pare down and weed out stuff and then fall asleep in the mid day with a little bit of sunshine and fresh air filtering over me.

There are so many times my SO will start rubbing my back or feet while we’re watching a movie at night and he’ll wait for me to fall asleep and then keep on rubbing on my back gently after putting the covers on me, rolling me over onto one side of the bed, pushing my hair out of my face. I’m asleep but I can feel what’s going on even while I dream.