Would you ever just "get rid" of a kid who was proving hard to handle?

No, I don’t think so.

I would never consider it. I can handle anything and would seek help if I couldn’t, but the kid stays with me (unless they repeatedly pose a danger to anyone else in the family).

My first inclination is to say no, never and to harshly judge parents who would. However, some children have serious behavior disorders that a parent may not be equipped to appropriately handle. I guess sometimes it is noble of a parent to realize that a different environment is really in the best interest of the child.

Whose the adult and whose the kid? was my first thought, but the other answers are also dead on.

I think you do what it best for the child. Some families are ill equipped, (emotionally, financially, health issues) to handle the “problem child” in a manner that would benefit the child.
The decision is not ours to make. With advice from social services, the decision should be left up to the family in that unfortunate situation.

Children aren’t something that you can just get rid of. It’s not like you’ve got a goldfish you don’t want anymore. People who do this kind of thing must really be in dire straits, because I can’t imagine any situation in which it would be necessary.

I don’t have children, but I think I can confidently say I would not just get rid of my kid. However, if the child might do much better in another environment I might consider it. Whether it be a relative, or boarding school, or whatever. Sometimes children just feel they need to spite their parents and get into all sorts of trouble, or the parents are ill equipped to handle the needs of a particular child. If a child is violent, he might be endangering others in the family. If a child is suicidal a change might be warranted. There are extreme cases where I can empathasize with a parents decision to send the child somewhere outside of the home. But, in most cases, I believe it is best to resolve normal tension within the home at home. I think it is better for the child’s process of becoming a competent, happy, individual.

Sometimes a parent just doesn’t want the inconvenience. I think it sucks.

My parents did with both of us. They sent my sister off to a lock-down “residential treatment facility” and they just kicked me out after deciding that the RTF route wasn’t worth the money for me.

My parents did, but even though it was hard I believe I am the better for it.

As long as no living thing in my household is in danger I would never give away a child, whether it be biological or not.

No but I’ve housed kids other family members couldn’t “handle”. In one case it was a teen girl who was frazzled/overburdened from taking care of two toddler siblings as well a brother just a few years behind her. The parents were split up, the father an alcoholic not sure where he would have a home/job/etc. and a mother newly confined to a wheelchair due to MS. It was no one’s fault 100% and it was best for the kids to go with other family members so their school wouldn’t be messed up, they’d have secure food-shelter-clothing and a chance to be with their school peers instead of raising each other.

I can see where soemtimes sending a child to live with a relative for a while could serve as a cooling off period when things at home are too damaging. I don’t see that as “getting rid of the child” if the parents are still involved. I am loathe to judge other’s actions without knowing the full situation.

@janbb I don’t think it is getting rid of a child either.

I think @worriedguy really is on to something. Sometimes, some people are just ill-equipped to handle a certain situation. I don’t know what I would do, but I do know that ultimately, I would have to make the right decision for the child. Sometimes, it’s the hardest decision, one you could never image making, that is the correct decision.

I do know that I would exhaust every single possibility before taking such drastic action. I did that for myself, with my health and despite all the advise given. I made certain choices and am glad I did, I couldn’t see doing any less for my children.

Well, if the kid was mine, it would definitely take a boulder to the head to get me to send it off, no matter how bad they are. It’s only natural to love them unconditionally.

However, if the kid was someone else’s… well, that’s another story.

This is why I always had dogs, if you get a bad one, you can kill it or give it away without going to jail!!! Just kidding, just kidding.

I had a brother, 15 years older than I. Now also bear in mind that everyone in my family was small, my dad not much more than 5.5 and my mom about 5.1. This brother took after my grandfather and was over 6’. He ended up being a vicious violent alcoholic who drank himself to death when he was I think early 50’s. But when he was a teen, my parents did not have a clue how to deal with him. They tried to get help from doctors, clergy, shrinks, cops and nobody knew what to tell them to do. The doctors and shrinks couldn’t help, clergy were useless and cops lost interest when my parents would never press charges. They were at a total loss and I think if there had been a relative they could have shipped him off to, they might have, but maybe not. I personally prayed he would leave or die or something. And he did die but it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s and was already pretty messed up from living with the constant threat he posed for most of my childhood.

So I probably wouldn’t judge anyone who did that, sometimes parents just don’t know what else to do.

Since I’m the destination home, I have to say the kids are much better off living with a couple who can handle them, than being in a home where they aren’t getting the help they need.