Guys~ if a girl sent a CARD to ask you out, say to a concert, is this out of line?

I’d be appalled if it were a text message or an e-mail, but there’s something more personal and acceptable about a (handwritten) card, unless he reads through the playful ruse and detects that you’re actually terrified of asking him out in person. Personally, I enjoy directness, and not a woman who ponders endlessly on the best way to achieve something without making me think one thing or another about her. If you really are too chicken to ask in person, I don’t think a card is a terrible way to pursue it, just keep the word count down.

Receiving such a card would be lovely, although if your intended beau is as diffident as you appear to be, he might not get the intended message and take it entirely on face value. It would probably be best to take advantage of the distancing offered by a card and be a little more emphatic about the nature of the invitation.

Good luck!

This is difficult to answer because every guy is different. I can only tell you what I always preferred. First of all I’ve always respected women more (at least me personally) when they let it known that they liked me compared than the girls who just decided to look pretty and “put themselves out there” just waiting to be approached. However desperation or being too aggressive is a turn off as well.

One thing that I’ve always liked is when a girl would tell a friend she liked me or wanted to get to know me better. In this way it made it easy to talk to that girl and make a date with her. I also always appreciated it when a girl would ask me to dance with her when I would go out to a club, this is a great way to break the ice while not seeming to aggressive. Arranging for set ups through friends or siblings never hurt either if you’re fortunate enough to be that lucky.

One trick you can do is break the ice with a guy in some way just to make small talk. Maybe bring up something you enjoy doing such as a certain ride in a local amusement park, mentioning how you love a certain places food, how you love bowling or something similar in person. If you’re lucky enough to get a positive response from the guy here than you could suggest through calling them (no texting or notes) that you’re going bowling or to that certain place to eat and if they would like to join you. I’ve done this trick myself but I always loved it when girls would do this to me as well.

It should be very obvious to any guy here it is ok for him to make his move then. If the gut doesn’t “get” the hint or decides to play hard to get himself move on! If the guy does respond positively and he decides to take advantage of you or be a little aggressive with you when you’re not ready for it or do not want it don’t feel you’re obligated to go along with everything he does or if he decides to be a jerk to you because you made the first move! End it with him immediately just like you normally would if he would approach you first.

It doesn’t hurt to get some basic info about somebody from other people as well before making a move. It always makes it easier if you’re in a scenerio where you will regularly see a guy such as at work, school, courses, store, etc. Again like I said before, make a small move, back off and then wait. Don’t chase, push him or do anything further. If he is any kind of real gentleman he won’t be a jerk about it or play games with you. I still prefer a phone call over texts/notes and then being allowed the freedom to make a decision myself without being pestered any further. I can’t speak for other guys here but only myself but good luck.

I think it is a great idea. It is a simple, elegant way to take the anxiety out of the situation and allows him to think about his response for a while instead of putting either of you on the spot.

I totally disagree with this proposal. he should be asking you, not the reverse. in order to go around this problem, ask a friend of his to ask you to go to the concert. THEN, you can drop the tickets on him and all will be good. i never have believed in the girls asking the boys out. why? it just sets a bad tone, that maybe the girl is desperate.

But, remember, i am 67 years old and i come from the old school. i still believe that right is right and wrong is wrong. you asking him is wrong.

Well I’m not qualified to answer being 43, but does he know you?? Do you socialise in the same circles, is he even aware of who you are??? If the answer to the above is YES then a card would be fine, if however he’s a complete stranger then it may be seen as a little odd, I’d be more than made up with a card if I knew you but I’d be less than impressed with it If I had no idea who you are! :-/
Personally I’d be over the moon if you asked me to my face but that wouldn’t necessarily mean we had a definite date…..

I think it’s a charming idea and I would love to receive such an invitation but not knowing who you sent the invitation to I don’t know if he would respond the same way.

It doesn’t seem out of line to me in the least. It’s a novel approach to asking a gentleman out and a fresh perspective on the whole dating thing. If I received a card like this, I imagine I’d really enjoy it. It’s not like you’re asking for a persons hand in marriage or anything. It’s just a date. I’m 43 so I kind of blew the age limit on this question. Sorry.

I don’t think it’s out of line at all! I personally love it when a woman takes the time to write. I would prefer the direct approach, however.