Do you have an uncontrollable need to please people?

That’s me. I always seem to be trying to make others happy.

Absolutely not! I mean, obviously with my family i’ll bend over backwards to do everything I can for them. Anyone else can take me as they find me. Although I am by default a naturally pleasant & courteous fella, given the right circumstances.

That is not me at all! .LOL

I keep letting @lucillelucillelucille think she can beat me at golf….I can’t help myself! ;)

I would say yes for certain people such as a few of my family members and a few friends, but I wouldn’t call it an uncontrollable need as much as it is something I want to do. As soon as it starts compromising my happiness I think I would withdraw because I know what that feels like and wouldn’t want to be put in that position again. There is a way to help and please people without suffering unhealthy and/or unhappy consequences. I keep self-preservation in mind.

Personally, i just try to be positive with all people, and if that not good enough, too bad.

I wouldn’t say I have an “uncontrollable” need to please people but generally, I’ll help out whenever and wherever I can with someone who might need it. I still have to prioritize different things going on in my life and in my schedule so that I don’t get overwhelmed.

I think it’s probably a good trait to have but also, it should have its limits. If it gets to the point where you make yourself unhappy or miserable, then that becomes unhealthy for you and that’s not fair to you. You can only do so much as one person and I think loved ones and other people in your life should take that into consideration and be accepting of it.

Nope. Never have, never will.

No.

That is neurotic and unhealthy, and usually means someone is higly co-dependent.

Using over giving as a means of manipulation and a way to make themselves indispensable to others in a way that denotes obligation.

We should give from a place of authenticity not manipulation.

There is a saying I like…...” Help is the sunny side of control.’

I learned a long time ago, that while I am generous and giving by nature that if I start to feel resentment it is time to pull back, not blame another if the balance is off in a situation.

A good way to get in touch with how healthy your giving is, is to ask yourself if you secretly are expecting some sort of payback?

If, for any reason, you are attaching a hidden agenda to your giving then, you need to recognize that is NOT giving, but manipulation.

No! I’ve never been accused of doing that. Oh my god if I did that I would be the “antiparadox”. I do try to respect other people and even will go as far to try to accommodate them in certain circumstances but I never go beyond looking at others in a more valuable light than myself where I feel a need to please others because I undervalue myself (compared to others around me).

To an extent, if I think it’s in my best interest. I’m on good terms with ex employers, ex lovers, blah blah but I do think I could be less stressed by doing just a tiny bit less and all would still be fine.

Only those that I respect, and that list is pretty short. If it were not for taking pride in my craftsmanship nearly to the point of a different type of mental disorder, I wouldn’t even have a job; I work for a paycheck and for myself, not to make my boss happy.

My wife is the opposite and that causes her to lose a lot of sleep, and to stress out almost constantly. She is trying to stop, but her needy psycho-cunt mother programmed her pretty strongly.

Yes I always find myself worrying about whether someone is happy or not…mostly in my relationships though due to many things Ive already explored in my mind…. however, I still cant help but have that need no matter what I try to tell myself…sometimes I just wish I could focus a little better and see myself as worthy of happy as well…

Oy, definitely not.

Not really. I’ve spent the years since High School trying to learn to be respectful and diplomatic but that’s not a compulsion to please people. More a focus on not being unpleasant.

I like to please people, but I wouldn’t say I have an uncontrollable need to. I am happy and I like to be around happy people.

I love to please people.
But it is not uncontrollable.
It only involves those people that I value so much that I take personal pleasure in pleasing them.
Like, my girlfiend, my children, and @lucillelucillelucille

@josie -You have a great attitude! XD

It’s not a bad trait, but you do have to make yourself happy, too. Can’t neglect your own welfare.
As for me, it’s me myself and I, and the rest of everyone is on their own. Sad but true.