Do we die the way we live?

you’re born naked, you die naked, it’s just a matter of planning.

@DrBill Not all of us live naked, though.

sometimes, sometimes not. its all a matter of chance. lots of different factors.

I don’t think so. Both my maternal grandfather and my father lived very similar hard & colorful lives though both were opposites in their personal morals. My grandfather died drawn out, thrashing, talking and disassociated from those present while my father sat down one afternoon and told his grandaughter he wasn’t feeling well, he nodded his head and was gone.

I don’t think so. I think we die the way we die. Some of it has to do with our way of living our lives, but some of it has to do with the circumstances of our deaths.

One of my best friends died a couple of months ago. Everyone said he had a beautiful death—accepting and gracious and open to the experience. He was a doctor and he helped many people in life. He was also a dancer and many women said that dancing with him was very healing.

He may have healed people publicly, but in private, his wife told us, it was not nearly so benign. He was scared and angry and all that other stuff that people talk about when a person is struggling to come to grips with the inevitable result of their cancer. He would meditate a lot in order to calm himself.

There could have been a troubled side to him in private in life. We all have troubles. I know they had troubles in their marriage, although not how far those troubles went.

I don’t think I can say we die the way we live, except to the extent that we are still the same person when dying as we were when living. Unless there is some kind of brain trauma, I would expect our personalities to hold true though both kinds of experiences.

Most likely, barring some major change or enlightenment.

I don’t know. How is it said that people who killed themselves lived?

While it may be poetic, that’s not enough to make it true. My paternal grandfather died teaching kids to perform jazz music. He died the way he lived. My maternal grandfather died in a hospital bed of cancer, but he’d never even stepped foot in a hospital until his cancer symptoms started becoming severe (by which time, of course, it was too late to do anything about it).

Now, we might still be able to say that my maternal grandfather died the way he lived. He was a rather stoic man, and he refused to use an iron lung just to get a few more weeks of life. And here we might think we’ve found the truth in the saying: how we face death is a function of who we’ve become during life. But even this isn’t true. Some deaths are unexpected. Some break a person’s mind before finally ending life.

Friedrich Nietzsche died after going insane. His final days were as sharp a contrast with the rest of his life as can be imagined. His death was nothing like his life, a subdued affair that befell a man with no fight left in him.

I don’t think so in every case. As a palliative nurse for 10 years I saw different ways of dying and pain and weakness and despair change from person to person. Some retain dignity because they are able to control body functions and have cognition. Others just can’t.

Worse

I think we all have a timeline and yes some can laugh at me but I do believe in God and that he personally hand plucks us from earth when he decides. Our way of life can have to do with our deaths but on the other hand you see many people cheating death all the time and that is why I believe when it’s our time we go, and God has personally given us challenges and purposes and when we fulfill it how he decides we get to go be peaceful. So maybe when we die its because it’s the life God wanted us to live.

@Meego So you think god makes people kill themselves?

@DrasticDreamer WHAT!?! You asked me that really? God doesn’t make people kill themselves. There is a fine line between living a godly way and living the other ways. I think that if you are a faithful person you would live the right way that God wants you to. I also realize it is in the bible that society will try to obliterate anything godly from our lives, so it is not uncommon for me to hear about people who have no faith in God or even no teachings about faith and are slowly removing him from each generation. Otherwise you believe what you do and I believe what I believe, it’s not the end of the world….yet.

@Meego Yes, I really asked you that. You said you believe god takes people from the earth when he deems fit. So, I wanted to know how you explain suicide.

@DrasticDreamer Oh ok I understand what you mean now. Well I really feel that I have no idea how God views suicide. In the bible suicide is not accepted but does that mean you don’t get to go to heaven? I don’t really think so, the same as anyone who commit sin constantly I don’t think you just go straight to the devil, you always get a chance to repent but these things don’t mean that God can’t take us from the earth on HIS time.

@Meego Okay, right. But if god takes people on HIS time, but they die from killing themselves… what do you think that means?

@DrasticDreamer I’m not god I don’t make the rules.

@Meego Which is exactly why I’m asking you what your personal opinion about the matter is.

@DrasticDreamer If someone commits suicide they are leaving when it’s not their time to go. God is the father of us all and that will hurt him because he has a plan for us and that person doesn’t fulfill the plan HE sent out for them.

@Meego How do you know that wasn’t part of his plan?

@DrasticDreamer I don’t know that’s why I said I’m not God. But I would think that Gods plan is for us to live not to stop the flow of life because we can’t handle it, he gives us the tools to handle life through him, not the tools to exit life without him.

He obviously gave us the tools for both, otherwise people couldn’t commit suicide. Just saying.

@DrasticDreamer Maybe I said that wrong, he wants us to use the tools to live life through him, not exit life without him, after all he did die on the cross for our sins

@Meego I’m agnostic, but thanks for trying to answer my questions.

@DrasticDreamer No problem, I can understand I only truly started believing after my father and husband passed away. Sitting alone in the hospital room with my husband in a coma I turned to God, he answered me and was there for me.

I certainly hope so. I’d die laughing if that’s the case.

There are too many ways to get killed in life. If you get hit by a bus? If you die of a terminal illness maybe. It depends on the circumstances.

Thought-provoking question. I can only answer in reference to the people who I watched go through the dying process and answer “yes” in this way: if they were brave people they died with bravery. If they were angry at heart they died angry. If they were people who rolled with the punches and just accepted their lot in life they died calmly and with acceptance.

@DrasticDreamer I do think people who kill themselves die the way the live – the way they live is not wanting to live and, of all of us, they take the most control (in general, I don’t think suicide is a cowardly selfish thing) of their trajectory but the ways in which they kill themselves, I don’t know if that corresponds to personality but probably.

@Simone De Beauvoir I think that is a great point. Maybe at the same time I’m not understanding the question, like when my husband when he passed away he went to the hospital with pneumonia he was 40. Also the hospital had a hard time getting a hold on the infection and he became dependent on the artificial breathing support. During that time things occurred he actually bit the airway in his mouth thus stopping his heart. At this time he had also an approximate 50–100kg of excess water in his body they were trying to drain when his heart stopped they had issues using the paddles as he already was 230lb. With the water he would have been upwards of just over 400lbs. His head looked like a pumpkin. Anyway, they had to do chest compressions at that time it took 9 min. They said he had no brain activity left. I’m not sure how this has to do with dying the way you live? I think I’m just confused at the question then.

@Meego Thank you for sharing that – I just wanted to see how people react to that saying, I don’t really believe in it.

Sometimes…according to the cause of death.

@Simone De Beavoir Well thanks for letting me share it. It’s the single most hardest thing I have ever gone through. If I understand the question properly than I think maybe the way a person lives can cause death, like living on the edge, maybe even simply just having a not caring attitude can cause death. There are also plenty of people who die that don’t even get a chance to live, little babies, fetuses, children. I think that’s why I think it has something to do with God and he is trying to teach us something. Like before I met my husband I was always the unconfident, very shy, needed help from everyone and everything I also had almost nothing and was close to homeless. My husband I believe was my gift from god and gave me strength and molded me into the woman I am, confidant, talkative, hopeful, patient and loved me for me. He taught me many things and that I really am worthwhile. I can only say he saved my life with love. I am lucky in the fact that I have nice things and thanks to my husband I own every single thing with out payments even my car which is new. I have been blessed, it’s too bad it was over too soon. So I think there are many reasons for someone to say, you die how you live and maybe that is true for people who say eat themselves to death, do drugs, are alcoholics, but there are those cases of people who die and they can’t even figure out why. I think when it’s our time to go we go. Might I say my husband also cheated death 3 totally different times in the span of 15 years before the family decided to take matters into their own hands and turn the machines off, I was the only one who wanted him to go on his own time, I was outvoted by over 15 other family members, I often wonder what would of happened had we not used human emotions as our decision and left it in Gods hands.

Yes, a pilot is more likely to die in a plane crash. And an addict is more likely to overdose. But beyond circumstantial things, I think this has more to do with how you live…how you move through things. Not the actual thing you’re moving through. Does that make sense?

So, yes, I think people die the way they live. Even if it’s a freak accident. That last moment can be an eternity for you to face all the hopes and fears that you hold at the very center of your being.