How do you react when someone close to you comes out of the closet?

I say, “Great! Thank you for trusting me with something so personal.”

I also make sure I know whether they mean for me to keep it confidential until further notice. I’ve been keeping it private for one friend for about 12 years now.

It’s kind of a non-thing. I have plenty of gay friends and a gay mom. It’s just another thing about a person, to me, sort of like that they grew up Catholic or don’t like broccoli.

I’ve never had anyone come out to me like that.. either they were gay when I met them, or I was involved in the coming out, so it was no surprise.

I’d probably go, Really?! Yaaay! and then give them a big hug.

Then I’d tell them they could talk to me and ask me anything.

I would think you would want to congratulate them on their courage.

This only happened to me once. Everyone else I know were openly gay since I knew them.

In this one instance, it was a college friend about ten years after we graduated. When he finally came out, I said to him, “Yeah, I kinda figured” and proceeded to drive to the movie theater. He just smiled.

It was so obvious by his actions and pesonality, that no one he came out to was surprised – least of all his parents.

He told me later, “I guess the only one that didn’t know was me”.

I smile and give them a pat in the back for being so brave in this harsh world. My best friend is gay and he didn’t come out to me until after high school. Ten years later we’re still best friends and closer than ever.

It’s has always been met with a certain indifference,unless they are having major issues with it,which hasn’t happened yet.;)

The sample conversation has never included me, but I find that it is among the more disappointing sorts of announcement.

This scenario comes up fairly often in my life. I think I register highly sympathetic on the gaydar.
Friend: I’m gay.
Me: I know!!!!
hugs and discussion ensue.

Twice now I’ve been picked as the first person to come out to—a position I absolutely gladly accept. It makes my ittybitty heart melt. Both of the situations were pretty much polar opposites in how the person went about saying it. I hate that they felt they had to keep it secret, but it’s heartwarming to be there when they’re willing to come out with it. Nullo, feel free to send those friends my way, I’ll take them off your hands.

First time, was my high school best friend, 3 years ago I think. He pretty much just got me on the phone and flat out said, “I’m gay.” It wasn’t a surprise at all, he really is a stereotype even when he was in the closet. I told him that I like him just the same, gay or straight, and I’m glad he was able to finally embrace it. He came out to the rest of our friends and his family within a week of that.

Second time, my best online friend I remember the day, October 7th, he asks, “When you have a free afternoon, can we talk about something?” and my first thought was “Either he’s going to tell me he’s gay, or he’s going to tell me that I’m a complete asshole and he doesn’t want to be my friend any more.” After 35 minutes of him beating around the bush, and me trying to figure out what words to say, I finally make the guess—and take his silence as a “yes.” Just like the first friend, I tell him that I love him just the same and that I am more than willing to help in any way possible to come out to the rest of his friends and his family. He’s still not comfortable with it :(.

I was, and am, happy for both of these friends, feeling comfortable enough to “come out”, and I do feel honored being the first person in both cases clearly I am sending out some good vibes, and that makes me smile. I do think that the second friend has built it all up a bit bigger than it should be, but at the same time, I fully understand why he has done so.

I have not yet had that “oh wow” you are gay moments. I have had people finally publicly announce what was known all along. Either way it’s no big deal. I don’t go announcing my sexual preference, no one needs to know…really.

My BFF is getting married at the end of this year, we met eachother 13 years ago he was 18, his first girlfriend was older. He told me he was gay, I was his support that’s all I could think to do. In the case of my friend he experimented with girls but he knew there was something wrong. At any rate for the past 3 years he has been happily gay and is going to be getting married to his lover in front of a used to be closet life! It really did take him 10 years to figure out who he really was, I watched as he experimented with drag at bars, then cross dressed. He still doesn’t seem gay to me and almost to me still feels mixed up. But him and I don’t have a friendship we have a supportship in best friend style! :)

This has only happened to me once. I hugged him, and told him that I thought it was great, and that it wouldn’t affect our friendship. It didn’t. Nowadays, because of the circles I hang out in, most of the people I meet now are out of the closet already.

Someone (very) close to me told me over the phone, in a drunken state. We talked about it the next day in more depth, and I just let him lead the conversation, and talk about his fears of how the world will receive him, etc. He revoked being gay on a later date, and told me he was bisexual. Later still, he told me he wanted to be a woman, and was going to start hormone treatment. He stopped them because he “couldn’t take being so emotional.”

Recently, he told me he thinks he’s straight, but he’s still sleeping with men.

* shrugs * First time I told him we should probably talk about it sober and that I loved him. After that, it was pretty easy.

“OK, well you know I love you.”

@Taciturnu: It sounds like your friend has many more issues than sexual preference. It is a wonderful thing that he has a friend like you. :)

@KatawaGrey Thank you!!! :)

I’ve only known two people to come out that I didn’t already know weren’t straight and it was no big deal. I understand where people are hesitant to announce to parents and other close family but not when it comes to friends. Genuine friends will accept, some not initially but it sure makes it easier to know friends from acquaintances.