Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

Do you tell people they are beautiful?

Asked by JLeslie (65790points) January 4th, 2011

Men, women, children, strangers? If someone is stunning, I usually tell them. Also, great hair catches my attention, so I tell people when they have fantastic hair. I tell strangers and people close to me.

I was talking about this with a friend of mine, and we were actually noticing it along ethnic lines, but I will withhold my generalizations about that for now.

I have heard people say they don’t tell their children because they don’t want their kids to focus on outward beauty, or get a big head.

What do you do? What do you think regarding the issue?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’m not afraid to compliment others….beautiful ;)

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I tell people they’re beautiful all the time – inside and outside. It bothers a lot of guys, because they think it’s a feminine descriptor, but then I just tell them they’re stupid. :D

wundayatta's avatar

My daughter knows she’s beautiful Her friends tell her all the time. We do, sometimes, but she’s joking about it a lot which makes it hard to say it seriously. My son is good looking, and we tell him that, too, my wife more often than me.

We aren’t worried about them getting swelled heads. They work hard. They don’t coast. They don’t seem to consciously use their beauty to their advantage. It doesn’t seem like they rely on it to get through life.

Strangers… well, I’m always shy about telling women because I think it’ll sound like a shallow come-on. I had a student in here the other day who was wearing these very nice boots. I complimented her on them and she said, “Why is it that all the guys notice my boots?” She said it in such a way that it was clear she was hinting about inappropriate behavior. I just stay away from complimenting women I don’t know. I’ll compliment a friend, though.

iamthemob's avatar

Not if they’re busted.

But in all honesty, I do this all the time – strangers, friends, whatever.

tinyfaery's avatar

Not usually, no. But it has nothing to do with not wanting people to develop inflated egos or to quell the focus on outer beauty. I don’t just say anything or anyone is beautiful. People might be cute or pretty or sexy (and I’ll tell them so), but very few people are truly beautiful. Maybe it’s because I live in the land of beautiful people. You really have to stand out in this city.

Jude's avatar

Like lucy, I am not afraid to compliment others.

The ladies in this thread above me are all beauties.

marinelife's avatar

I tell people they look beautiful when I know them, and they do.

I usually don’t tell a total stranger.

I think just beauty is kind of an accident so I don’t focus on it that much.

AmWiser's avatar

I like giving and receiving compliments. I don’t hesitate to compliment strangers, children, store clerks…whomever.

JLeslie's avatar

@wundayatta It is tricky for a man to tell a women. I guess maybe I should have narrowed the question to women only?

@all when I said beautiful, I would include handsome, cute, and other descriptors.

tinyfaery's avatar

Then, yes. However, I cannot remember ever telling a man I thought he was hot, or whatever. Unless I wanted to get in his pants. Probably because a hot guy with an inflated ego is such a turn-off.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yes I do. I’m also one to compliment hair, much like you said. I answered something similar here recently, about complimenting strangers – and I do it. Sometimes I see something (or someone) that I find so visually appealing that I can’t help but say so. Plus, I figure it has to make someone’s day. I know it makes mine to hear it, why not send that back out into the world?

Summum's avatar

Yes all the time. People love to be noticed and told so.

Seelix's avatar

I won’t usually tell a stranger unless they really strike me. And I’ve only said it to female strangers, because I don’t want to creep a guy out or make him think I’m “interested”. I’ve had a few strangers say something similar to me (male and female), and the guys just seemed creepy, so I wouldn’t want to make someone feel uncomfortable.

X_Peace_Love_Freedom_X's avatar

i tell people that they’re pretty all the time, but then they have to deny it and say their ugly, then i have to tell them they’re pretty until they finally agree with me.

i don’t think telling someone their pretty, good-looking, or beautiful will give then big heads. i think they get that by themselves because of the things they live with.

wundayatta's avatar

There oughtta be a way of telling a strange woman she’s beautiful, and that you find her attractive (and are interested in her based on the way she presents herself) without creeping her out or making her feel uncomfortable in any other way.

stardust's avatar

Yes, all the time. Everyone’s beautiful in their own way and so they should be told!

BoBo1946's avatar

Yep, I do….

chyna's avatar

Yes. Mainly children and my dog, but if I think someone I know is all gussied up for an event, I’ll tell them they are beautiful.

etignotasanimum's avatar

Like @Seelix said, I always feel a little wary about creeping someone out, so usually I’ll just say something along the lines of “you look really nice today, not that you don’t everyday, of course.” (insert awkwardness here). I tend to avoid commenting on the looks of males because I’m semi-uncomfortable with that.

Wait, that last bit isn’t true. Or it partly is. If it’s a guy I know I’ll compliment him. For example, I told my best friend the other day that his new coat brought out his ultra-manly ruggedness. He laughed at me, because I was sort of joking and couldn’t say it with a straight face. I did mean it as a compliment to his looks, though.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Yes, inside and out. I just told my neighbor she was an angel because she offered to pick my son up from school for me. I’ve been sick all day and I’ve been dreading going out in the cold to pick him up. Once I mentioned her being an angel because I’ve been sick all day, she also said my son could eat dinner with her tonight. I love having wonderful people around me and I make sure they know that they are wonderful and that I appreciate them.

Austinlad's avatar

I do often, and in benign but sincere ways. Examples: “You have such a pretty smile,” “Your smile brightens my day,” “Those colors (of your dress or shirt) are great,” “Great outfit!” “Thanks for such a great smile.” Etc. Works great with friends and strangers whom you want to thank in some way for making the day better for you.

JLeslie's avatar

@Austinlad I find it uncomfortable when men focus on my smile. Especially when they tell me to smile. Do women receive that well in your experience?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@JLeslie really? I find the compliments on my smile to be the ones that I am most flattered to hear. It seems like such a sweet thing to say.

JLeslie's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie Hmmm? I guess if someone says to me, “you have such a pretty smile’” It is fine. If they say, “smile, you have such a pretty smile,” like they are telling me to change my expression, then I don’t like it.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Oh, I don’t like being told to smile, no. I agree with you on that.

wundayatta's avatar

@JLeslie I’ve been meaning to say this for the longest time, but I guess I can loosen my tongue now.

You’ve got the sweetest looking petals!

Won’t this look stupid if you ever change your avatar. ;-)

JLeslie's avatar

@wundayatta Haha. I was just thinking of changing it ironically. My name and my avatar. I think about it now and then, but never pull the trigger.

Austinlad's avatar

Interestingly, @JLeslie, I’ve never gotten a bad reaction, only a bigger smile. Maybe it’s a Texas thing, or maybe because, being older, I don’t appear threatening. BTW, I never have or would ask a woman to smile. I pay the compliment only when I’ve seen someone smile and want her to know it pleases me.

tranquilsea's avatar

I tell people they are beautiful but I don’t toss the word out indiscriminately.

Facade's avatar

I do. I think everyone benefits to boosts in self-esteem.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I use to compliment women that I know but I have since stopped doing that since some don’t like it. Better to be safe and not sorry.

kaomungai's avatar

I tell people I know that they are beautiful, handsome, cute, etc. I will comment on something they are wearing or a personality trait I find charming. This life is too short not to tell people the wonder that they bring into existence. There was someone dear to me I lost once and to this day I wish I told them more positive things. I am careful not to overly say compliments so as that the comments will always be taken sincere. I also make sure that if I say something along those lines to a man, that I say it in the most neutral (read: not hitting on them) way possible. I find that we as a society do not say enough positive things to others. What a shame! I feel people should be the recipient of the type of cute phrases Fluther has below our handles/screen names every now and again. Paraphrasing a writer—I would rather risk looking silly sending out a good thought to someone else than at the end of my existence say “very neat. very tidy.”

downtide's avatar

Occasionally I do say it, but only when I really mean it.

gm_pansa's avatar

I told a guy this once. I honestly don’t think he knew how to handle it. LOL!

cookieman's avatar

Sure, I toss around compliments all the time, even to strangers – BUT, I usually compliment something specific.

“That’s a great scarf.”
“I love your hair.”
“Cool necklace.”

I notice details.

anartist's avatar

I notice when people of all types and ages look aesthetically pleasing, whether it is features, form, carriage, costume, colors, or striking [or quintessentially appropriate] clothing or ornaments, or any combination thereof.

I usually just smile appreciatively and maybe nod. If compliments seem appropriate, I occasionally offer them. More often for the beauty caused by their choices than the beauty nature gave them. Rarely would I use the word “beautiful” as it may embarrass for a variety of reasons.

perspicacious's avatar

I never hesitate to compliment people.

flutherother's avatar

I love beauty, it makes the world go round, but I very rarely tell anyone they are beautiful.

hotgirl67's avatar

I f I think someone is gorgeous and looks like a model I’m not afraid to tell them or give compliments

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther