One night stands?
If a guy is really nice and passionate during a one-nighter, then why would they ignore you afterwards? Like say you’re hooking up with a guy and he is telling you how beautiful you are and junk and like two days later you casually see him out in town and say ‘hello’ and he ignores you. What gives?
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34 Answers
He achieved his goal and moved on.
He wasn’t interested in you, he was only interested in having sex with someone (anyone would do) and you happened to be there at the time.
‘Cause he thought you were beautiful, he thought you were nice, and he was having a one night stand. They’re called that for a reason.
He got what he wanted. A one night stand. If you had fun and enjoyed yourself leave it at that.
its ah.. well this guys an ass. everything he’s told you has been just a front to achieve an objective (you in this case), just like a good salesman. and of course when you see this guy again you get him off guard, defenses down, ‘shit, thats that girl i used, man im an asshole cant deal with this, ignore’. OR maybe he’s totally emotionally unstable and really has some issues, and when you hooked up he was on drugs and the sexiest man alive and bullet proof? or or….. any number of possible scenarios.
Saying nice things about your appearance is meant to make you more agreeable to being a one-night stand and to convince himself he’s bagged a prize. He wants you to be really into the moment, as if it meant something. It’s better sex for him if you aren’t aware that you’re being used.
Because men do not need feelings to have sex, but they are willing to say anything in the heat of the moment to get the woman to cooperate.
For some, novelty is beauty.
That’s what one night stands are by definition. You shouldn’t expect anything else.
It means that his intention was just to sleep with you and nothing more.
@sleepdoc You coudn’t beat around that like the rest of us??
@sleepdoc Well, you were straight to the point. kudos
I believe you all are right on. It was a good time, so I shouldn’t really look into it. @Arbornaut and @BarnacleBill that’s what I didn’t understand, thank you!
He is just saying the right things at the right time, getting what he wants, then moving on.
until he meets another person where he can repeat the process
It’s likely everyone else is right, but there are other possibilities I want to point out.
For instance, maybe he doesn’t know how to interact with people he’s hooked up with; some people get very awkward about that. Or maybe he’s worried that you’ll expect more than he’s offering, so he doesn’t want to lead you on by continuing to be affectionate. If it matters, there’s no way to know except to ask. If it doesn’t matter, no worries! You had a great hookup and that’d valuable all by itself!
If your intention wasn’t just sex, why were you having sex with a man you don’t date?
He meant nothing of what he said (I’m not implying that your not beautiful) But he would have told a 600 pound pizza faced nasty bitch the same thing just to get some. Guys are like that.
Keep it to yourself girl. Don’t be givin that shit away, safe sex or not. You are giving this person a part of you, and once you have it’s theirs, and part of you is missing.
@faye I never said my intention was just sex. We both had drinks at a new years party and we were friends before and we had hung out on occasion. It was just really random!
@JustJessica Thank you, I appreciate you clarifying that! haha But I suppose you’re right. I just need to lay off drinks before-hand (YIKES).
@lapilofu Those are definitely possibilities!
He truly thought you were beautiful, fun and enthralling… for a hookup and maybe he assumed you thought of him as a hookup too.
I’m a little sick of people ripping on guys in this situation. It doesn’t mean he didn’t think you’re beautiful, he may well have. The point is that he felt his words were adding to the mutual enjoyment of the moment. He suspected (and for most girls, this is often correct) that a certain amount of mental connection added to your arousal, or at least, it was something that turned him on to say. Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. It’s a mutually accepted non-committed fling. It’s fake by nature. He was passionate, and you enjoyed it. Isn’t that what you wanted?
Why do you believe that, even if he was being sincere, that it would mean he should be interested in more than the one night stand? Some people are just passionate lovers. It’s a good thing, right? Wasn’t the moment that much more enjoyable because of it? If you’d like to pursue more, talk to him plainly and find out his feelings. If you feel that he should or shouldn’t feel one way or the other based upon the experience of a single sexual encounter, that’s your own fault.
@Smashley Again, I am sorry if it seems like I expected more, because I didn’t. We were friends and now because of that he will not speak to me. In my mind, maybe I’m odd, I do not want to be told I’m beautiful and sweet etc. when I’m having sex with someone if their intention is a drunken one-nighter. I was merely curious.
Don’t take any of this wrong please. It is not intended to be harse or anything else but an attempt at paraphrasing.
So the carnal pleasure was born from drinks at a party.
Some physical need were satisfied.
What more did you expect? Was it because he said you were beautiful?
Well, you are beautiful and I understand your emotional gut-wrench. Based on his non response all I can say is…... “it’s his loss”
When he calls looking for a repeat (and i bet he does), enjoy the pleasure of ignoring him or telling him where to go.
@blueiiznh Thank you very much! No offense taken, at all. I hope my answer to @Smashley helps clarify that I wasn’t really expecting anything and since I had previously spoken to and hung out with this person, his behavior came as a sort of shock and confusion to me.
If you knew each other, maybe he’s just embarrassed and could be he doesn’t remember everything. He may also be afraid you will try to turn the night into a relationship. Just talk to him one day.
@tigerlilly2 Try to think about is this way. Most people, whether seeking relationships or one night stands, tend to go after people they think are attractive. So, for him to say you’re beautiful – even if it was just a one night stand – makes sense. He also happened to notice that you’re nice. What he said may not be the norm for one night stands, but all he was doing was complimenting you.
@DrasticDreamer Actually, that makes perfect sense! I tend to over-analyze things I guess :)
Here’s another thing to consider. Maybe since he was your friend first then he fought with his desire and curiosity about you as a sexual being versus the you he’s come to know as a friend. I’ve been in this situation and it can be awkward enough to want to avoid each other for a little bit in order to feel where things should settle. Give him a little time and he might approach you to discuss the whole thing. He might be thinking he’s ruined the entire friendship and be up in the air as to how to bring it up without hurting your feelings by making it seem like he didn’t enjoy being with you when he actually did.
@Smashley I am a guy and I wasn’t ripping on guys. He said what he said and likely meant it. But he didn’t mean that he was going to continue to feel that way about the person forever.
@bob_ you make a very good point!
I hate it when men or women tell you all kinds of things they know you want to hear, being a sweet talker, just to get you into bed. its wrong to play with peoples feelings like that.
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