I can't express my feelings the way i want to, what is wrong?

Nothing’s wrong, it’s just that words don’t come easy. I also think people who cannot put words to their emotions are those with the deepest ones.

I don’t think anything is wrong.
Perhaps you don’t feel confident enough to share what you are feeling.
Try, just once, expressing how you feel to someone close, and watch their reaction. I am sure you will get a positive response.
Good luck

You might want to see a therapist to see if they can help you with your anxieties and give you some concrete excercises to help you practice and get better at expressing yourself.

You also might want to join “Toastmasters” which is an international organization dedicated to helping people gain confidence, leadership skills and especially to teach them how to overcome their fears with public speaking.

If nothing is wrong, per se, which it doesn’t really sound like it is. Play a little game with your girlfriend. Tell her that you and she will both write down 100 questions and then each of you will read the questions and then the other person will (attempt) to answer them honestly and completely. Start with some silly ones or ones that aren’t that important (like what is your favorite vegetable and why) and then gradually get to questions that are a little harder (like where do you see us in our relationship in 2 years, 5 years). Get used to talking and asking and discussing things with her and hopefully it will get easier, then you can start in with the family (which I think will be much harder, especially if there are un-resolved issues) If that’s the case, you may want/need to get some therapy with the family as well.

The issues you are dealing with don’t have simple fixes. If you don’t speak honestly about your feelings with your girlfriend or family, it’s because somewhere along the line, you learned that showing your feelings got you hurt. You probably learned it in your family and are practicing it with your gf because you don’t know any other way.

If you don’t know what you’re feeling, it’s the same thing. You learned to stuff down the feelings and deny their existence. You probably don’t even have names for many of the feelings.

There are a couple of ways to address this. First, you could get counseling, as others have suggested. That is probably the fastest way to deal with it (although it could take years). Second you could take communications workshops or other workshops designed to help people in your situation, and then do the rest on your own, perhaps by reading books about it. Just go to Amazon and search on “learning express feelings” or something like that.

Here are a few hits:
Expressing Your Feelings: The Key to an Intimate Relationshi
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You

There are plenty more if you look. Read, learn, practice what you learn.

Its hard to express yourself when you dont know who you are expressing. Think about it. The key to this answer is: Self discovery

Practice being Vulnerable. Saying what’s on your mind is difficult because it exposes your true feelings and opinions making them vulnerable to opposition.

You can live your life hiding or you can live your life being so vulnerable. The truth is, people tend to enjoy vulnerable people more than they enjoy closed, hiding people.

If you speak your mind more, the result will surprise you. Life will be different than it is as a closed person. As long as you don’t live in a nazi concentration camp, I think you’ll find life is better for you. It starts with practice.

wow! thanks for all the responses!! i’m overwhelmed… and now i’m feeling a little better really :) ... i don’t know, seeing a therapist as many have suggested here, is not a good idea for me.. but i’ll definitely get myself some books, thanks wundayatta for pointing out :) ... thanks a lot guys… YOU ARE THE BEST!!

Spidermonkey, perhaps start writing in a journal too. I think the more you practise sharing your feelings (even with yourself in a book) the easier it becomes, the more natural it feels. When my husband and I were first dating, if I was upset about something I found it very difficult to speak my feelings but much easier to write them down. I used to use an instant messenger to tell him how I was feeling sometimes. It was just easier and I am a very open person and a good communicator. I felt vulnerable though and I think I needed to have time to think about what I wanted to say and to consider how I would respond to his responses. I needed to slow things down. Perhaps you can find ways to do that too. If you need to explain your feelings to someone and it is important, put it in writing. Hope it helps anyway.