People who are control freaks, do they tend to be insecure?

The only huge control freak I know is my mom and I wouldn’t say she’s insecure, generally. She is insecure about her appearance/weight, but other than that, I would say she’s pretty good with herself.

I’m a self-control freak and I am insecure. I think people who have control issues, it stems from having no control, especially during tumultuous situations, growing up. I know that’s certainly the case for my mom… and it’s the case for me, as well, because my mom is a control freak, so I had little control, myself.

I think behind the need to control is fear and ego. Fear because control freaks need to know what to expect at every moment, as if they can stave off the negative by being prepared for everything. Having everything just so enables them to feel like they can control everything that might happen. Ego because these people obviously feel they are powerful enough to stop bad things from happening by simply doing/having things in a certain way, their way. And of course, we know, no one can do that.

I think this is going to depend largely on the context of the situation. Not all control freaks have to control everything all the time, it may be only in a certain area of life like work for example.

All control freaks operate out of fear. Fear that something bad is going to happen to them.

It depends, I think. There are things I am a control freak about and they are not things I’m insecure about (because there are plenty of those as well) – they’re just things I don’t trust others to do as well as me, period.

I think yes. I’m a self professed control freak which means it’s easier for me to fear or feal I’m not doing my part because I have unnatural expectations of myself. It’s seems ridiculous to more “normal” people but I have to chant a mantra to myself that… ”No one is thinking what you’re thinking, no one else thinks this is such a big deal…” I know I get insecure when I can’t do all I think I am capable of, I get extra down on myself. It’s a constant battle to recognize silly circular thinking, practice things that don’t seem like they work but they do, in time.

There are different types of control freaks, depending on context. Some are people who lack understanding or imagination of a situation, and are really uncomfortable with the idea that there’s a way to accomplish something that they can’t invision. They cannot see any other way to get from A to E except B, C, D, E. Then there are people who are more fixated on the process than the end result. You invite people over for a party and are hung up on the house being clean and the food being perfect, and lose sight of the fact that the purpose of the party is to have fun with friends. Sometimes it’s overinflated self-importance. I’m so good at doing X that if I don’t do it better than the last time, I’m going to disappoint people.

Given how little control we actually have, I can’t imagine how a control freak could be sangunine about life all the time. They would either have to be almost totally oblivious to the goings on around themselves, or in constant terror because so many things they felt the need to control could not be bent to their will.

I hate name calling. You will never be able to solve a relationship issue by calling someone a control freak. The name caller is the one with insecurity issues.

Yeah because control freaks like to have everything perfect because that’s just the way they are.