Parents, when did you know that it was time to stop having kids?
Asked by
Jude (
32204)
January 6th, 2011
Why did you stop?
Just curious (from some who has no children).
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46 Answers
August 1985, when we had our second.
We definitely both wanted more than one. I wanted three, my husband wanted two; we stopped at two.
Because of infertility, I only had the one shot, but I got the best one! ;-P I would’ve liked to have a bunch…
Medical issues on the spouse side stoped it.
Would have loved to have a dozen more.
We haven’t decided when we will stop yet. We both agree we would like a few more, but we’ll have to wait to see what happens as time goes on.
We were lucky to have any, let alone two. We stopped because my wife didn’t think she could handle any more. Actually, she later said she wished we’d stopped at one. I wanted more. But in order to have more, she’d have to go through the infertility cycle again, and since she was 43 or so, the chances were pretty low that she’d get pregnant again.
I stopped after one, but he’s like two or three sometimes, so my bases are covered.
We have two right now – we’re envisioning at least one more biological child and one adopted child…after that, we’ll see. To be honest and I only say this now (my perspective may change later), as long as I’m able, I don’t think there will ever be a time that we will say ’ no more ’.
I didn’t want to stop at two but I had to because I got sick and it was advisable that I stop. I’m thankful for my two though.
When I inherited three step-sons and thus had a 7yr. old, an 8 yr.old, an 11 yr.old, a 12 yr.old and a 14 yr. old (four of whom were males).
We knew because of our circumstances at the time…
We initially wanted as many as we could afford, maybe 6 or so. However, I have kidney disease, and during my third pregnancy the docs told us “NO MORE”. They finally convinced me that I was risking my life during every pregnancy and that the three kids I would have needed their mom more than another sibling. We stopped then.
Honestly, it’s a good thing. I really don’t think I could have handled more than the three I have!
@augustlan : I’ve done the stupid kidney thing, too. Ow Ow Ow.
Only had one. Long story for the reason for only one. The one has turned out to be a super son. Very blessed to have him.
I have three kids and think that’s perfect for me.
The only reason I’m not having another baby is that my hubby thinks he’s too old to start over again. And financial reasons… but we could work around the financial thing if I accidentally got pregnant. I honestly considered “tampering” with his condoms, teeheehee, but he really does NOT want any more at this point, so I’m trying to respect that.
Two was what we wanted. We felt that was the maximum number we could handle well. (Emphasis on “well”)
I volunteered for the big ”‘V”. Got it done with no regrets.
Am I the only one who thinks @worriedguy is especially sexy right now???
When they start having kids?
I’m not a parent yet but I figure I’ll stop having kids when the work to raise another one outweighs the excitement and desire to have another one. Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir, I want three biological and one adopted. My boyfriend wants seven or eight but as long as I’m the mother of his children, that is not going to happen. My mother laughs whenever I say that I want four but I’m also planning on having some live-in help. ;)
You always said you wish you had more ;-P
So true, can’t wait for the grands!
@They’re wonderful – although it’s not the same thing.
I have always envisioned myself with one child. It wasn’t until she was around 4 that I even starting considering a second and I thought the age difference of 5 or 6 years would be too much – it would be like raising two only children.
@Supacase Not really, although I guess it could depend on the kid… My oldest was 5 when her little sister was born. She took to it like she was trying on motherhood herself. She wanted to help with everything, including diapers, and even gave her baby sister her first bath.
They go through normal sibling bickering, of course, but they’re pretty close, even with a 5 year age difference.
I never did know that. The main reason I only had two was that I didn’t feel I could afford more than that. I would have loved to have many more, adopted, though, because child birth was too painful.
Her first marrage she had a daughter and a miscarrage.
When we married, she had a miscarrage, another daughter, a miscarrage, and a son.
Since we had one of each, and because she was having such a hard time carrying them to term (all three of our kids were premies), we called it.
@cletrans2col This is not a good night for me, and apparently you’re not here often enough to know me, so I’m just gonna leave that judgemental comment alone. Good day.
@Supacase That’s exactly what I did. There was 16 years between my first and my second. My sons could rightfully say “My brother was an only child”.
@JilltheTooth Thanks for that vote of confidence. You are not the only one.
My dad (my mom died young) had one too way back in 1965. It was considered very desirable in a partner. He was a given a gold pin that looked like the “Male” symbol but had a cut at the bottom of the circle.
@worriedguy I had joined the big V club also when that decision was made. It was just the right thing to do and with no regrets. I love the cut symbol pin
My ex-husband also had the big V. We figured I’d gone through enough with all the risky pregnancies and health problems. I really appreciated it! Though I ended up having to get a hysterectomy later on, for other health reasons.
Ha. Actually, I had the hysterectomy after we were divorced. And I lost a TOOTH during the surgery! How unlikely is that?!
Well, that’s just weird. One of the things I love about you. Wait…what? A tooth?
I have a very small mouth, and an acute angle to my windpipe… they knocked it out with the breathing tube!
Oh, good. I had thought this might lead into a story about another funky dentist.
Nah, I just have an interest in all things teeth. Look at my name. ;-)
I’ve had the “big V” since birth. Can I get one of those pins?
@JilltheTooth: I think you should get one. After all, you couldn’t even get pregnant without a host of doctors, surgeons, drugs and several thousand dollars. Oh, not to mention almost a decade of trying.
Do I get a pin for having a father-ectomy?;)
I just want one if it’s shiny. I like shiny things.
Update: I think there will be a time when I say ‘no more’...but if it does happen that I get pregnant later in life, I won’t abort.
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