Did I make the right decision?

YES!

no you didnt really over react and that is because ive seen my mother through two marriges and she is now on here third. that was good you were able to see the signs of the selfishness because no matter what that will not change.

Move on and stick with your instinct. He’s selfish

Yes you did the right thing, he sounds like a complete asshat.

Graduating from law school is a big deal. If you’re important to him, he should have made plans to take part of the day off, be there for you and take you to brunch or lunch afterwards. Surely he has staff that can cover for him.

You did not make the wrong decision; he did.

Congratulations on your JD!

He sounds very selfish. I think you had the right “visions” of what your future would be like.

you did not make a wrong choice. This was an important event to you and his being there meant a lot to you or anyone significant in your life. although there may be reasons that someone could miss this as an exception, his was not one of them. You should not have to settle for someone who could not know this.
I hope you move through this and congrats on your significant accomplishment.

This sounds like you made the right choice, but I’m not going to make a final judgment call since I don’t know what his pov on this is.

He is uncaring. You did the right thing.

You made the right choice.:)

Absolutely made the right choice.

Thank you all for your replies on the matter. I’m going trough a really tough time here, he keeps texting me, and asking me for another chance, I just can’t let go of what happened, how can we have a future together if he’s not there when it matters? I know he is very sorry, but i’ts really shitty that his first natural, intuitive reaccion was to think about himself, when all I asked was 2 hours in the morning.. this sucks

Graduating law school is a huge accomplishment. Heck, I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you. This is the beginning of your work life and a new journey. You need a partner who will be there for you. I think you made the best decision.

You know in your heart you deserve better. Move on.

He sounds like a selfish douche bag that will never be there for you in times of need. Don’t even think of going back to him! There are plenty of men who would not only be there for you, they would not even think of not being there for you, especially with something so important as your graduation.

Some candy is really sweet too, but it can give you cavities. Know your self worth and don’t put up with this kind of lazy, insensitive crap.

You did the right thing. If he wasn’t so selfish, he could have sacrificed an hour of his sleeping time to come and be there for you during one of your happiest moments! Congratulations on your graduation! Could there be a touch of jealousy in his decision not to be there for you?

You must move on and find someone who will be happy with your success!

Welcome to Fluther.

I guess I’m going to be the odd man out here, but I’m sure that you can understand: as an attorney you will certainly recognize your boyfriend’s right to a strong advocate.

Whether or not I agree with you personally and that he should have agreed to attend when you first asked, I think that you may have over-reacted in this case. (To this one instance of him not wanting to attend the early morning graduation, that is. I’m saying nothing about his ‘other comments’ to you at various times. Some of those comments may be worthy of a death sentence in and of themselves.)

If he owns and manages a restaurant that opens at 11 AM, then I presume that this business is open for both lunch and dinner. If it’s open for dinner, then the place may not close until after midnight, and he may be working for over 12 hours. And I would doubt that a place that stops serving at midnight is going to close up at exactly that time and everyone go home. I am very aware of the work that goes into managing a restaurant. I would only do that work if my life depended on it, and even then I’d want it to be a short life.

You didn’t say what his work days are like, but having worked 12-hour shifts in the past myself in other jobs, I know how demanding (and utterly draining) a schedule like that can be, regardless of the work that is done. I was always jealous of every hour of sleep that I could get, too – and I never had time for ‘me’.

@CyanoticWasp Yes, but this was a special occasion. It was a graduation. It wasn’t a shopping trip. He could’ve given up a couple hours of sleep without her having to cry about it because he wanted to celebrate her accomplishment.

This is a one off event.
I can’t speak for your ex, I will tell you what I would have done in his situation.

I would have gotten up to go to your graduation. I also would have arranged for someone to come in early and set up a brunch for your immediate family and friends at the restaurant to celebrate.

@CyanoticWasp Yes it’s true he does have a heavy schedule, he opens from 11 am to 4 pm then closes the restaurant (many guys take the nap), and opens again at 7 pm until 10:30 pm.. I know its a very demanding job, I know how it feels since I worked part time while studying at the restaurant where we met.. still I feel it was so damn wrong

I’m assuming he manages to take time off for vacations, gets ill, etc. It can be covered. If you’re that indispensable to your business that you can’t miss a morning, you’re doing something wrong.

Heck, he’s been dating you the whole time you’ve been in law school. He had three years to know that you would be graduating at the end of it. Being married to a law school student is no walk in the park; he should have wanted to celebrate that it was finally at an end.

If you REALLY REALLY want to get back together with him, you could insist on couples counseling, and that it would be open ended (as in it’s over when you say it is, and not until you say it is, and that if you feel the need to go back again, he agrees to do it). Considering his work schedule, I doubt he’d be willing to go along. Still, if he wants you that bad, he’d have to prove it.

In addition, if he did not think he could get employees to cover, he could have put a notice on the door a week ahead of time: “Right Decision Restaurant will be closed on Saturday, Dec 18. Thank you for your patronage.”, or it could have said, “Right Decision Restaurant will be closed on Saturday, Dec. 18 for a private party.” (Your private party, of course!)

good for you.

I think you did the right thing. He is a selfish pig and nobody deserves that kind of treatment.
@CyanoticWasp She did not overreact to the situation of him saying he wouldn’t go because its too early in the morning. She had every right to act that way. You only graduate law school once and for your partner of 3 years to say no I am not going because it will make me tired is bull****.

The thing that gets me is the “I’d never do such a thing for anyone” bit. I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for my wife if she said it was important. I’d also like to think I’d have the sense to realize which things are obviously important (like graduations). Yes, this was a single mistake that he realized was a mistake before any permanent harm was done. But coupled with his rather shallow comments about conditions under which he’d leave you, I think your actions were appropriate—especially if he has a history of selfish actions.

Sierra,
This is a trait in his personality. If you take him back he will do it again. Sooo, advice one: if you take him back try this, if you have something like this come up again, use these exact words and say to him. “I need you to do this for me because it’s important to me.” If he doesn’t respond to that then leave and never look back.

Have you ever heard the story of the frog and the scorpion? Read it. http://allaboutfrogs.org/stories/scorpion.html

Heartfelt sorrow doesn’t mean it will be different. You are obviously a strong intelligent women, you can do better.