How do you deal with people who constantly yell instead of talk in a rational voice?

Can’t you go away from them? Also, do you have a specific example?

I like to keep asking them questions. Eventually, they get tired of it themselves.

If I’m able to, I get away from them. If it’s a family member I would just say “stop yelling, I can hear you”. Or “Use your inside voice, you don’t need to yell.”

You lay them out & then when they get up from their nap you talk about how things could have gone if they weren’t acting like a little child.

My tipical line goes something like this:

“Are you totally incapable of acting like an adult? your only defense to contention seems to be to raise your voice. Why are you shouting? are you trying to intimidate me by insinuating that you may get violent? do I look like a fucking ape to you? I don’t have the time or effort to deal with your primitive little struggle for dominance, either talk to me properly or shut up”

There is really only one person I interact with on a regular basis that yells over anything, so this little quote of mine is really tailored to this person. But the basic idea is to shame the shouter in to acting in a civilized way.

I deal with that every day because of my Mom. If you cannot get away, bite your tongue because some people are not in the right state of mind and certainly do not have manners! But if you can, only talk to them when absolutely necessary and be kind so they don’t have another reason to be so disrespectful or drag on the conversation.

I ignore them if they are family. I won’t tolerate it from a stranger.

Stay very calm, eerily calm. If that fails then I get sarcastic.

It’s completely irrational. I think the best thing is to let them know you’re not going to stand there and take their anger on board and that you’ll talk to them when they’re feeling calm enough to behave in an adult manner. If they carry on, walk away.
If you have to have contact with this person, I’d keep doing this until they start to learn shouting doesn’t work.

How do I deal?
I don’t. I stay away.

But if it is inevitable, I simply ask what is their problem. “Why are you speaking so loud? Do you find this necessary? I don’t. Nobody’s deaf, we can hear you.” <—- something along those lines mostly. If I’m in a screw you mode, I will just say, you need to shut the fuck up (they’re being rude so who cares)

“I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that. Could you speak a little louder?”

Thanks. All of these might actually work the next time this person goes on a tirade.

my husband just yells when he talks to you and gets even louder when you don’t answer him, I just cant stand it when he does that now that I’m getting older I cant stand to be around him at all.

The older I get I can not stand to listen to him yelling its every day. I’m just wondering if his dad was this way because if you asked him a question he goes off he cant answer you in a nice way he has to yell in your face or throw stuff. what do you do when this happens day after day after day.

Leave him @jellybean1.

My husband listens to two programs where the presenters don’t present – they yell. When I enter the room, especially if it’s in the morning, I find the angry tone & volume to be disconcerting. I actually have to leave my own kitchen to escape the negative energy. Is it unusual to be affected this way?

I’ve been in my situations for Years 15 to be exact, my husband will find things he can scream about I’m sure of that. He’s doesn’t care that he is effecting the kids in a bad way or if the nabours hear him. And walking away from it doesn’t help in my case, it’s getting so bad lately he will start fighting about old things just to keep the screaming going. If I tell him he needs to lower his voice and speak to me in a normal manner he would tell me I’m provoking the situation. Out of ideas lost for words and physically and mentally drained.

Why don’t you quietly start planning to leave him @TanyaBurger? I planned for a year before I actually told my ex I was leaving.

I have the same type of problem at work. This person instated of talking to me, she yelling at me like crazy, in front of the customers, she does not care.
I did talk and told her, to use a moderate tone of voice with me, since, I`m recovering from an emotional shock. I m a sensible an emotional person. I do not want to bring the issue up to HR, because, I m new employee, I need the job, is short distance from home and pretty much get alone with every bodyelse and only have to work with her 2 times a week.
I m just wonder don`t people like this, can listen to themselves, how rude they sounds. Don`t they know that is a harassment?