Have you had a life changing event, and you feel you are not who or what you are supposed to be?

I’m not who or what I feel I’m supposed to be. I couldn’t tell you where it went awry, but I feel as though it hasn’t gone at all how I thought it was going to.

Sometime during the nine months prior to my birth, I got the wrong set of sex chromosomes. I’m still working on fixing that.

I have severe debilitating arthritis. I’m a nurse, for gawd’s sake, not a patient. I don’t think I’ve come out of the WTF? yet. The having to leave work happened really fast.

I never really thouht about who or what I wanted to be when I was young, so I was never really invested in some sort of idea about myself. I remember wanting to find someone to love and who loves me. I
found that.

Now, it’s not as though I feel like I should be doing something else, but more like I don’t like my current situation so I want to be doing something else.

I guess I just have no belief in destiny or fate.

Being diagnosed with mental illness, accepting that diagnosis, and learning to live with it changed me. Battling it on a daily basis is what defines me these days. Winning against the odds is what I aim for. I often miss the mark, but I keep aiming and getting closer every day.

I almost died twice before the age of 12….my name sake is a Real Estate company that for the most part I just had to show up to take over. Ever since those near death experiences I felt there was either more or much less involved in the process of living each day that I had to find out for myself and I did. ;)

I wish I could give everyone more than one lurve for answering this question. Thank you for taking the time.

what a good question. Like hawaii jake said, its tough to deal with a mental illness. I have depression, social anxiety and also a heavy dose of gender identity crisis and credit card debts (and inability to find a full time job), the world is crashing down on me everyday and it’s a struggle to really wake up and do anything. I found that I am trying to figure out the purpose of my life everyday just to keep breathing. I don’t know if I believe in a concept of self-identity, I just know that love is what keeps me going. I don’t want to be any particular person or anything, I just want to have inner peace. Buddhism teaches us that the concept of “self” is an illusion. There is no professional title or career that can define who i am, all these social construction of what kind of career options are avaliable for us is just that, a social construction. I just try to live everyday to the best of my ability, and try to use my critical thinking skills to make all the decisions in my life, thats who I am..

Iv had several life changing experiences that have left me confused and shaken, wondering who I am and what my purpose is. Never in these times did I wish to be or think that I should be something or someone else though.
Its tough when you feel like your navigating on a leaky boat boat in a thick fog at night, without any charts or a compass, wondering when the shore will appear out of the gloom and if when the sun finally rises, the fog will lift.
But the sun always rises and even in the dark there are lighthouses.
Im lucky I got through the times I did, and If it wasn’t for my really good friends and loving family, things could be very different.
These days Im more than happy with who I am and my life in general, and for that I will always be grateful.

How do you even determine who/what you’re supposed to be.. To me that seems so.. Governing? I mean, I view who/what I am as a choice, regardless of life altering events. Two of my closest friends died in the space of 9 days, and it obviously had its impact on me. Prior to those 9 days, I wanted to be a lot of things. A football player, psychotherapist, secret agent (lol), but I never felt like I was supposed to be anything. The experience did help in shifting my perception and attitudes towards life, but I wouldn’t say I am/am not who/what I was supposed to be because of it. Do I detest who/what I am now? Not in the slightest. In fact, I love me. I don’t think I was/am supposed to be anything other than who/what I CHOSE to be. Situations change, and people change with them all the time, but if I were to look at who/what I am as less to who/what I never became because of an experience then I’d rather not exist. I think it’s how we choose to deal with an experience that really determines who/what we are, not who/what we’re not. (I hope that makes sense lmao).

I always thought I would have a high level career and I was well on my way to one. Some extraordinary backstabbing by someone who levelled my career. I couldn’t get over how easy it was for her to tear me down and I haven’t worked since.

I never thought I was going to be a stay at home mom who home schooled and yet here I am.

A brother died when I was young and I was also the victim of abuse. I wouldn’t say that I feel like I am not who I am supposed to be, but I might have accomplished more careerwise had I had more self-confidence younger. However, I am not distraught about where I am in life.

@faye Your answer I really identify with. My health issues have ruined a part of my life. In some ways I have more than I ever expected. I have a lot of happiness. But, as a person, my health leaves me feeling not up to par, not who I really am.

@JLeslie How right! I’m an active fun person, hiking, dancing, working hard, wearing high heel shoes out on a dinner date!! I don’t know for sure whose body I have!

@faye Exactly.

I never thought I’d be manic-depressive. That illness has changed my life—especially in terms of my emotional reactions and sensitivities. Just last night I was watching an animated movie, and I kept on choking up, and nearly burst out in tears. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself. My daughter was sitting next to me and at one point asked if I was laughing. It was just the opposite, but I couldn’t tell her that.

I feel like I’m leading life in the right direction but the wrong way. Like I did something I wasn’t supposed to awhile ago and now I just keep doing little things wrong until I’m just not who I should be.

I feel like I should be walking north, but I’m walking north and half a degree west. It’s close enough for now, but I’m heading farther away from the real me. Nothing seems right anymore, everything is slightly off.

I miss my girl.

well i had to move from one city to another at the age of 12… and i couldn’t really adapt the whole new life too good… i feel if i hadn’t have to move i would have been a different person…

Two life changing events stick with me. The first, though I didn’t know it at the time, was marrying my ex-husband. It put me in a place I never thought I would be, and in an effort to “go along to get along” I spent about 20 years sublimating myself just to keep him on an even keel. Subset A of the first life changing event is certainly finally getting the nerve to leave him. I am broke, working two part-time jobs and going to school full time, but I have never felt happier and more fulfilled.

The second event is probably the single most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I had just returned to college (for the umpteenth time since leaving high school) and this really cute guy caught my eye. We had spoken a couple of times but hadn’t developed any kind of friendship. I went to bed one Sunday and woke up in the middle of the night with a thought in my head. I knew that the next day when I saw him in class I had to ask this guy if he believed in God. I hardly knew the guy and had no idea where this thought even came from, but it kept me up all night and I knew I had no choice but to ask. The next day I sat next to him and finally got up the nerve to talk to him. At the very end of class I looked at him and asked “do you believe in God?” I blurted it out so fast I am surprised he even understood me. He did a double take at me then took my hands, made sure he was looking me right in the eye and said “Yes, yes I do believe in God.” That morning I met God in a real way for the very first time and I met the love of my life.

For so long I thought I was going to be a doctor but there was so much I didn’t know about the world. I don’t know if I’ll ever have one single career but I know it’s not medicine.

I am the mother of an autistic young man.
My son has been the focus of my life for twenty years.
I would have been working and taking more classes but my son needed a full time mother.
I wish I could have taught other autistic people but he needs me.
When you love a child you will give up your dreams or change them.