Should I leave active duty?

That’s a very tough decision. I would say that your #1 concern should be your family. If you think about what they need, then it may make the choice easier.

Look into joining a reserve unit. If not the Naval Reserve, then the Air Force, or Army. If you are active reserve your time counts toward retirement, or at least it did when I got out.

Another option is ask to be assigned a recruiting post.

A third option would be to try and get a spot on a NROTC cadre and go to school while you are teaching the potential petty officers their jobs.

You are really the only person who can answer that question. You have obviously thought of most of the pros and cons. I would just urge you to keep in mind that there are a great number of benefits to getting at least your 20 in, and that jobs are difficult at best to find right now.

Tough call. Can you find decent employment in the real world? Do you need to? The loss of a steady job and benefits is a biggie. The reasons you mention for leaving are sound, as well. My sister was in the Air Force for 10 years, and had no problem integrating back into regular life, but everyone has a different take on it. I’m sorry I’m not much help here, but making a pro-con list is the only thing I can think of. Good luck with your decision!

I do military law enforcement and have specialized training in corrections. It would be fairly easy for me to get a job in the states, as long as there is one to be had. I am at the point where my family is very important to me and I want the best for my child and my soon to be hubby…Just dont know if I am ready to leave the securities of being in the Navy behind…

I was in the National Guard for eight years. when re-enlistment time rolled around, i, like you, was promised the moon, if i signed up for four more years. this was the time of the VietNam war and i just did not want to make the Guard my employment for life. did i make a mistake? sometimes i wonder. i understand the security and benefits the Navy is giving you. it’s hard to leave the comfort of the big umbrella, thats afforded by the military. its steady and there will always be a paycheck coming.

I made the choice to leave. my choice was based on my wanting to get into the music business. i was on my way, but the Guard was cramping my style. i also wanted a wife and a family. it was a tough decision for me, but it was the correct decision. this is the problem you are facing. you seem to be very comfortable with the Navy. you expressed this more than once in your question. here is what i would do: sit down and write all the good points of being a civillian again and the good points of staying in the Navy. now, compare notes to see which one wins. good luck.

@Baddreamer27 : I looked at your profile, and I see that you’re pretty young, (from my perspective, anyway). Don’t let fear of stepping out of your comfort zone dictate your decision, there are a zillion changes ahead of you in life, you’ll adapt!

I left the Navy after 5½ years and, after a year or so spent re-adjusting to things like sharing my bedroom with one woman rather than 400 guys and not being awoken at 0230 by a casualty alarm, managed to get a pretty normal life going.

It’s been over a decade and while I don’t regret being in, I sure as hell don’t regret getting out either.

BTW, they changed the rules for high year tenure; Active Duty Navy E-5s can only stay in 14 years unless they already had 10+ years in as of 1 July 2005. You didn’t, so forget about getting your 20 unless you can get that third chevron fairly soon.

I will have 10 years in if I leave at the end of this duty station/tour in Jul2012. I have pretty much come to terms that its now or never for making PO1. If I dont make it this year, I doubt the navy will let me re-enlist just to be forced out at HYT in 4 years, but they will probably let me re-up for 2 year increments.

It’s not our decision, but I would say since you have kids: stay, if the navy will let you. I am in the same position and I do not care if I stay or go, but I only have me to take care of.

@Blackberry It was a little different for me as I was trying to maintain a long-distance (San Diego to New Hampshire) relationship with the girl who is now my wife. But you are correct that kids change the equation.

@jerv I think a significant other could change the situation as well, as it did for you. Unfortunately, and fortunately…..I don’t have someone in my life I’d have to consider lol :(

@Blackberry The OP did mention a fiance….

@jerv Yeah lol. I guess I was just placing more emphasis on the kids. I don’t wanna say they’re more important, but I think more weight on the decision should be determined according to the kids, know what I mean?

I guess I also forgot to mention, Im fighting a bad case of “I cant stand this command” I keep telling myself that its only one command and the Navy as a whole isnt bad, but in the last three years, yea its been pretty bad with the rash chain of command decisions, treating us like idiots, broken promises, no morale etc. This place sucks and its a direct result from upper leadership that sucks.

@Baddreamer27 Indeed. There are 1,000 reasons to leave the military, but that one worry about security and benefits keeps a lot of people in lol. Just that fear in the back of your mind that says, “What will happen if I get out?”.

@Blackberry I was thinking more about “normal life” and “family” (SO and kids).

@Baddreamer27 I’ve seen E-6s with 19 years and 4–8 months request early-out for that reason.

@jerv I’m not a family guy, so I guess that shows how much I think about it lol.

@Blackberry Childless by choice here. Just me, the wife, and the cat.

@jerv Nice! I would prefer to be in that same situation, one day.

I’d say go for it, but I’m biased against the military/how it’s being used. So I’d much rather you have a regular life with your family.

Well I think Uncle Sam and I are getting a divorce! Today after working a 12 hour night shift, I get home, and finally get in bed after getting my son up and ready and to school and my phone rings. My supervisor (who is younger than I) proceeds to tell me everyone must muster up at 0900. So myself and my co-workers who were due back at 1700 went in. We get there and take two hours of being berated, chastised, treated like asses for over two hours. Standing at parade rest and attention (very uncomfortable lol) just because a shipmate (I use this term lightly because the man-child that caused this has never even been on a ship) went out and drank and drove. The second DUI incident for my command in 48 hours. We had one on Friday night. I hate the whole idea of punish all for the mistakes of one. Plus to make it worse a former E-7 leader in the command who had been busted for DUI less than a month prior was standing around coking and joking with the other Khakis. His butt should have been popped tall right in front of everyone. How do they expect these young sailors to do the right thing when they cant do it themselves! So everyday I am being reminded why my time is done in the Navy and why I am ready to separate. Thanks everyone who posted though, I appreciate your insight.

@Baddreamer27 Accountability in the Navy is a funny thing, and I got disillusioned after my LPO got a Navy Achievement Medal for something that he couldn’t have even figured out how to do if it weren’t for me. It wasn’t the medal so much as the fact that he never even said “Thank you” or “Good job”. Blame flows downhill while credit only goes to the top.

The fact that E7 and above were exempt from basic security precautions at my last command also irked me. I got my bags searched and couldn’t bring any food aboard while they just waltz in with pizza and out with who-knows-what.

@richie24601 hmmmm….Do I know you? ha ha ha