What was a quirky little phrase or saying one, or maybe both of your parents used to say when you were a child?

“you make a better door than a window”

“were you born in a barn?” (when we left the front door open)

Ha ha ha, just thinking it made me laugh.
My mother used to say this phrase when she didn’t think we were listening to her

‘Do you think I’m talking just to hear my head rattle?’

My grandmother used to tell us, “Counters are for cups and glasses and not for little children’s asses” She was full of these little sayings. If you were pouting it was, “Well if the world was to freeze over you face would be stuck like that” When she was angry, “If I had your ass in a jar like a bug, I wouldnt give you airholes to breathe” and the grandmotherly way of saying she wouldnt miss it for the world, “If the good lord is willing and the creek dont rise”

Whenever Mother would get emotionally distraught, my Dad would pat her knee or shoulder and say, Relax, relax.”

Never worked, but I find myself sometimes doing the same thing today.

“You kids would tear up the devil”. (We broke or destroyed everything we got). Actually, we heard “You kids would blankety blank the devil” for many situations.

1. “Cripes!” 2. “Your room looks like a cyclone struck it” 3. “Finish that dinner – there’s people starving in China” 4. “This place is a galldarned nuthouse!!” 5. ”‘Cuz I’ve got eyes on the back of my head”

Stop whinning or I’ll give you something to cry about.
Don’t make me stop this car and come back there. (When us kids were fighting in the car).
Don’t roll those eyes at me missy.

“I’ll break your legs you little shit!” LOL, my mother actually did say that A LOT. It was really meant to be funny, not even remotely as horrible and threatening as it sounds.
My grandmother always told me that my “eyes are bigger than my stomach” – in pointing out that I am rarely able finish what I’m eating. She also tells me that “nobodies chasing you.” when I’m in a rush to do anything, or just being frantic in general. I say that one, now. Not sure how common those are.

“Don’t drink that, it’ll kill you!”

My dad had a couple of quips for after he got his hair cut:

Us: “Dad, did you get your hair cut?”

Dad: “No, I just got my ears lowered.” OR “No, I got them all cut.”

My grandfather practically raised me or reared…. anyway, he would tell me over and over, “you have to be a “four square man!” “That mean be honest with everyone.”

Whenever one of us waved something in the air like a fork or a stick my mother used to say “careful you’ll put someone’s eye out with that.” I ask you, what are the odds, has any child ever put another child’s eye out this way?

I got a pencil stuck in my cheek that way!

Grandmother “If wishes were fishes, there would be no room in the sea.”

@Tropical_Willie I hadn’t heard that one before and I’m going to use it too. I like that.

@chyna – I have 2 sisters and often heard my mom’s stress-filled sentences end with “Missy” or “Sarah” (which I think was a reference to olde-tyme actress Sarah Bernhardt).

Here’s another old favourite of my mothers. ‘If ifs and ands were pots and pans then beggars would ride on horseback’.

@Tropical_Willie, my mom used to say the exact same thing. ;-) Made me CRAZY !!!

My favorite response to anything my mother said (when i was a teen) was “I dont care” to which she would respond by spouting out this awful random tune of “She dont care…She dont care…Im so glad I dont care she dont care” I laugh at it now but I despised it then. Another of her favorites…“Too much of a good thing is never a good thing”

How about the ever-popular, “Put that down, you’re gonna take out somebody’s eye!” I heard that one a lot, and by the way, I DID once almost lose an eye when the neiguborhood bully shot a BB into it. I had to wear a patch for a while and the scar is visible to this day—but my sight was never affected.

“Quit yer belly-aching!” when we were whining or complaining too much about something. Also, my three siblings and me still chuckle about my dad’s overuse of “perfectly good” (with chin tucked in and lower lip stuck out a bit) when selling us on something that we kids all knew was clearly inferior.

My grandmother who was getting a little senile used to say this at least once a day usually several times ‘auld age never comes its lane’ meaning old age never comes without attendant problems of stiffness and forgetfulness etc.

If we complained about what my mom had prepared for a meal, my dad, sitting at the head of the table and passing the food around the sides to eight children, would always say, “If you get hungry enough, you’ll eat anything.”

@chyna OMG, I knew it. We are sisters. All of those were regulars in our household. Along with “You’ll put someone’s eye out” (if we were waving something around) and “in or out” when we were standing at the door.

My father’s favorite threat was “I’ll tan your hide, young lady.”

“Now go to your room and have a little talk with yourself” -dad

“This room looks like a bomb hit it!” -mom (For years I wondered what a ‘bomhidit’ was) She also told me she’d bring in a bulldozer to clean up my messy room.

When putting on his jacket, as his arm went in the sleeve, my dad would say “Ever been kissed by an elephant?”

“You can pick your friends and you can pick your seat, but you can’t pick your friend’s seat”-dad

Mom:
“You reap what you sow”- after my dad or I did something she didn’t like
“You look like a throw-away”- if I looked disheveled
“I’m not gonna be sitting up in the emergency with you (blah blah blah)”- when I was being reckless with my life

My dad didn’t have any sayings, but he loves to sing snippets and only snippets of old songs.

I’d waited 48 years for that dreaded threat my Mom would use to shut me down. “If you think you are going to (insert any of my teenaged desires) well, you’ve got another thing coming, young lady,” she’d say it without blinking, staring like a game of chicken.

When menapause hit, I knew I had finally realized the fruition of her threat.

Her other famous saying was, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

Whenever we were driving and stuck behind a slow volkswagen, Dad would always say “god damn it, this is Hitlers revenge” There were a lot on the road at the time, and they weren’t much chop going uphill. Still cracks me up every time i see one.

My mom always used to threaten, “I’m gonna split your lip in about two seconds!” Like @TheOnlyNeffie‘s mom’s threat, it was all in fun.
Anytime I said I was hungry, my mom said, “I’m Mommy!”

My sister would say, whenever she had a headache, that she had a “hair ache”- we still use that in my family to refer to headaches.

My mom and grandmom would say things that I always thought were Baltimore-isms:

called the fridge the “Frigidaire” (like the brand)
would say “Frick and Frack!” for F*CK!
Lower than whale shit in the ocean (for a unlikable character)
Shit in one hand and wish in the other…see which one fills up first
“Scat Cat” if someone sneezed

The biggest one from Mom was “like it or lump it” if I ever complained about something – usually dinner.

When we would be on a trip and it was time to stop and eat I would always say “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” when they asked where I wanted to go. My dad always said, “I don’t see one of those here.”

If I asked for something, Mom would sing “Get a job, nananana nananananana Get a job.” Pissed me right off.

My mom refers to a lot of something as “an embarrassment of [x].” Whenever I say that, though, my friends look at me like I’m crazy.

Whenever someone is being stupid, she’ll say that “they don’t have the sense that God gave a goose.”

When someone is just plain dumb, she says they’re “dumb as a box of hair.”

I love there sayings. :)

My mom would say a saying when something would happen, that I would love to know what it means: Achi ka ka (spelling?)

She also said: oi vey (spelling?) when we did something dumb and “you’re a dork” for the same reason. My dad would call me a “brat” in such a loving way.

When my mom would know my brother was up to no good, she would say “A little birdie told me.”
Not long after, she caught my brother throwing rocks at the birds, determined to get rid of that little snitch.

I absolutely love these answers!! so great!
My Dad had this weird phrase, he’d say, “commere once” instead of just saying come over here. Anyone understand where that came from? I still don’t understand where that came from. He loved the old stand-by “For cryin’ out loud!!!”
My mother would comment about what are we doing “parading around” One day my sister and I grabbed a flag and started actually parading around the house. That led to one of my mother’s other favored expressions..“honestly, you kids!”

My Dad used to use the phrase “I’ll be go to hell” when he was exasperated.
There is no part of that phrase that is right.

“Useless as tits on a bull.” Is another that comes to mind.
Iv heard that plenty of times.

One of the managers at my old job had a couple of cute ones:
Slicker than snot on a doorknob
Tighter than a cow’s arse in fly-time

She was kind of momlike, so I think she counts.

@Arbornaut I use the term “Useless as tits on a bull dike.” It really doesn’t mean anything, but it’s just crude enough to offend anyone.

@filmfann Love your work….

Thank you, @KatawaGrey and @filmfann . You just gave me my early morning chuckle.

“Clear the mail”
“You are so hard ears”
My parents don’t speak English too well

My mother referring to my messy hair, “That knot in your hair is just like a rat’s nest.”

My best friend’s grandma used to say to us (when we were kissing the dog) “Stop tormenting that animal!”

My older cousin used to say to her younger sister (when she was irritating her) “I’m gonna slap you silly!” Luckily, she never did.

My friend’s mom used to get her metaphors mixed up and she would say stuff like, “I’ve got more sense in my little finger than she has within an inch of her life.” Heh?

@Kardamom hahaha…I loved that last one. It made me laugh out loud.

Kardamom, you reminded me with the “rat’s nest” comment how my Mom used to tell me, when I would put my hair in a bun, “you look like an Irish washerwoman!”
She was Irish, so it was no smear on Irish people, I guess just not a look she would have wanted to pursue!

My nan would say to us ‘let your meat stop your mouth’.
If something didn’t work properly she would say ‘it’s about as much use as a chocolate teapot’!

I found my self saying these few things to my son this weekend…“Ya know what I mean Jelly Bean” -“Lets go Joe”. “Ready for some action Jackson” (his name is Jackson) I really said them quite often…

@Baddreamer27 :
My son’s name is also Jackson (I also say action Jackson!)