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Jude's avatar

When you think back to past loves, how many (would you say) do you still have a soft place in your heart for?

Asked by Jude (32207points) January 13th, 2011

I was thinking about my ex b/f this morning (I date women now and am in a committed relationship), and realized how much he meant to me then, and how I still care about him, even though it has been years. I feel as though I will always feel like that.

I also feel the same way with my ex g/f. We were together for 10 years. When we see each other, for the both of us, that caring is still there. We tell each other that we love each other (in a friendly manner).

What about you?

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38 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

All of them. I cared enough to let them in, if it didn’t work out I’m not going to detest them.

tinyfaery's avatar

I still have love for my first boyfriend and the boyfriend I had before I met my wife. My first love was such an influence on my life; he is like my family. The other boy I was friends with first and it blossomed into something else. He is still one of the few people in this world that really know me.

CaptainHarley's avatar

All of them, even my ex-wife. : )

Summum's avatar

Only one.

partyparty's avatar

Just the one… sadly he died :-(

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@partyparty I’m sorry, I gave you a GA but I didn’t mean great. I’m sorry for your loss.

YoBob's avatar

All of them (and, FWIW, I also continue to have a hard spot located somewhere south of my heart for most of them as well… ;) )

absalom's avatar

One.

The others I regard with wonder. Like: ‘How could I have loved someone like that? What was I thinking?’

A kind of private embarrassment.

partyparty's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Thanks now I am smiling again :-)))))))

tedd's avatar

One for sure…. a second as well, but less in a romantic sense.

Seaofclouds's avatar

None. I’m thankful that I was blessed with my son out of my previous marriage, but due to the things my ex-husband did during my pregnancy and then after he walked out, I can’t really say I have a soft spot for him in my heart anymore.

choreplay's avatar

There were various qualities of each relationship, some were for the wrong reasons and those intalled as much pain as love, but others were dear and they, at least two hold that spot in my heart. But my beloved now has the best of my love.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

All of them, with a single exception. My first wife made sure that she could not be remembered fondly.

aprilsimnel's avatar

One, though I am grateful for what I learned from the others. I don’t see or know any of them today.

MacBean's avatar

All of them except the one who cheated on me. The rest were all amicable breakups and I’m still very good friends with them.

TexasDude's avatar

All of them.

I don’t view love as a commodity that is used up and depleted with time. Instead, I see it as a fountain that is forever overflowing. When I tell someone I love them, I mean it with the utmost sincerity.

I’ve dated a few girls, and I still care about them all deeply and would pretty much walk on broken glass for any of them if they needed me to. Three of them, however, stick out in my mind the most as being the three whom I was actually in love with. I dated one of them for three years, and our relationship was pretty much terrible, but we both will pretty much have each others’ backs for the rest of our lives.

tedibear's avatar

Only one. He was, and still is to the best of my knowledge , kind-hearted and caring.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It’s interesting. I’d say I have a soft spot for all of them except my ex-husband which is strange because we spent the longest time together and he fathered my first son. I suppose, after our divorce, he revealed himself to be such a loser that I can’t even gather up some sense of intimacy in terms of our earlier and better times.

Pandora's avatar

Only three but not in a romantic sense. I just felt bad for them the way things ended. Two of them really bought the break up upon themselves because they were seeing someone else at the time and the other was way in love with me but I didn’t feel the same way. I know both stilled cared about me when I broke up with them even months later and were very hurt. I just don’t like hurting people who do care about me. Just wish I could’ve ended the relationships without anyone getting hurt, but relationships don’t work like that. Someone always gets hurt.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I wouldn’t call it a “soft spot”, but I still have fond memories of two past boyfriends. I would never want to reconnect with them, but there are some great memories.

glenjamin's avatar

Don’t have any past loves. Always kept my distance

Winters's avatar

Too many.

flutherother's avatar

One in particular, I haven’t seen or heard from her for many years but if I ever meet her again my heart will still jump.

kenmc's avatar

I only have 1 ex, and the place in my heart for her is like a Non-Newtonian fluid. It’s soft when left alone, but when pressure is applied, it turns solid.

Arbornaut's avatar

Just the one. We are great friends and still love each other very much, way to much was invested to just walk away and never see each other again.
Sometimes the passion flares and sometimes there is an overwhelming bitterness, but thats just the way it is. Im glad we still communicate.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My ex husband who was my best friend before we married and has been my best friend still, for 25yrs now.

Kayak8's avatar

All of them have some place in my heart. There are three or four that have a little more real estate than the others. There is one in particular who lives rent free in my head most of the time.

MissAnthrope's avatar

50% – 4. That number would be a lot higher if certain people hadn’t treated me like shit. I’m a sappy mofo and disgustingly nostalgic, so I hold on to the people that mean a lot to me. Each person, that I dated and with whom I had a good relationship, was both my best friend and my girlfriend. Their not being my girlfriend anymore didn’t negate our friendship. Nor did it negate the fact that I knew them really well and that I cared a lot.

Sometimes (because I am a weirdo) I get a random flash and I stop, shake my head, and go, Wait. We used to have sex. That’s so weird.

charliecompany34's avatar

ah, the ever-eminating “soul tie.” that’s what it is essentially. exchanging bodily fluids in a magical space and time that shall never be forgotten…

the names have been changed to protect the innocent?

1. “samanda:” once mama went to bed it was on
2. “gladys:” heineken, a joint and prince
3. “kiesha:” back seat and totally naked even in the winter
4. “tiara” early morning and freaky
5. “valerie” any time anywhere

you just happen to run into them one day and talk about nothing but your family and what you’re up to these days, but then you walk off and remember…

Crossroadsgrl's avatar

All of them :)
They all helped shape who I am today and what I WANT in the future.

all of them :)

Scooby's avatar

I have a soft place for most of my past loves :-/
I can’t count them all sorry…. But most. Except the ex wife, I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire!! :-/
Sorry!!!

Fairylover78's avatar

Ummm, well I would say that I have a ” soft spot” for one of my exes family and he would be included in that. He was really the only other “serious” relationship I ever had before meeting my husband and I lived with his family for a while. I still talk to and see his mother and her husband when I can. (she has lung cancer now) And in my heart they will always be family to me, even though he treated me like crap and was controlling for the 3 or 4 years we dated, I can still see him and we’re friendly. ( it helps that his mom told me he married a controlling crazy chick who beats him with broom handles and controls everything he does….. because that’s almost exactly how he treated me… karmas a bitch)

Axemusica's avatar

Many. Maybe that’s my downfall. Then again maybe that’s why next time it’ll be a while before they can touch that part.

blueiiznh's avatar

All but 2 :D

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