When having a verbal argument with someone, when do you tend to walk away? How do you know that it's the right time?

As soon as they start ignoring my points, using strawmen arguments, or rambling appeals to pathos.

I agree @Jude there are many who will not listen to anything but exactly what they know. I walk away when I see it is worthless to continue. And now that I have I will remain that way.

When they’ve got nothing but cliche statements that I’ve heard a million times and I’m just like ‘really, you’re talking like a cartoon.’

I’m a battle picker, as well. I never get into arguments on general phiosophies, because what I have to say will most likely go unheard. When it’s personal, I walk away early, because I hate that stuff. I guess mostly I don’t argue, so much as stand up for myself, even then I just say my piece and leave. I’m no good at that stuff. But I will beat the crap out of anyone on someone else’ behalf.

When I realize that my ego has taken the controls.

Great answer @thorninmud Lurve

When I have nothing to gain from the argument and or voices start to get raised because emotions are taking control instead of common sense.

When the other party stops being an adult.

The moment when I realize they aren’t listening to a word I say, and I’ve repeated myself several times, and they still aren’t listening.

@J0E I’m sorry, could you repeat that? :P

When I realize there’s just no point, niether of us is going to change our opinions. I walked away from my own thread about mass murder and gun control when no else would agree that stricter gun control might help prevent massacres. (And I am not trying to start it up again now.)

Usually only when attacks on myself or family become deeply personal. When that happens it is obvious there is no longer any level of respect at all and time to cease and desist.

When counterpoints are being ignored and the points already contradicted are being repeated without amendment. That’s when it’s clear that the discussion has no purpose.

Or when it gets to the point of personal insults. Actually I usually stick around then long enough to fire off a few zingers and then I walk away when I’m out of ammo.

I walk away when I get the urge to throttle them! :-/

When I’m having a discussion and someone counters with a personal cheap shot to try and gain authority, I walk away. You know the old saying, “If you have the facts, pound on the facts. If you have the law, pound on the law. If you don’t have either, pound on the table. If you don’t have a table, pound on your opponent.”

When the opponent starts repeating themselves or uses specious arguments.

Yes, if something begins to degenerate and the other person is becoming overly reactive, emotional, time to go. Fortunetly I have not had an issue with something like this in a long, long time.

I live in a drama free zone.

I like this mantra, which kind of sums up many peoples immature relational styles.

‘Feelings are not facts and emotions are not truth.’

This doesn’t mean ignore your gut feelings, but, it does mean, many confuse their feelings & emotions with fact and truth.

This is going to sound impossible, but I don’t argue verbally. For example, my mother tells me I need to go to church and what a burden it is on her that I don’t. I just say “Okay” and change the subject.

Like @Coloma, I live in a drama-free zone.

The written word is another story. I take that more seriously. (I’m not talking about Fluther. I consider what goes on here to be more conversational.) I’ve written my share of letters to the editor. I’ve written more than my share of letters to my Congressional representatives. I think I give it more weight when it’s written, because I can take my time and really analyze what I want to say and how I want to say it. I can also take the time to read and read again what the other person is saying.

Still, I don’t let the written things get to me personally. I keep it on topic and off the personality. Perhaps I live in a fantasy land. If so, I like it here.

I wish I could say I stopped at the things @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard does, but in reality I tend to just keep arguing and trying to point out logical fallacies to people in hope they’ll cut it out. It rarely works. I think I have too much faith in other peoples’ abilities to apply logic.

One standard that I always follow is that I always stop bothering once Godwin’s Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law) rears its head.

Around about the time they start stuttering & stumbling over their words. A seething mass of hypocrisy drowning in a sea of ineptitude. I walk away then because I most probably need the toilet from laughing so much :¬)

If I bring forth a logical argument, or show a logical flaw in their argument, or bring forth evidence to support my case, and they reject that without any reason other than stubborn determination to be right, then there’s no point in further discussion.

When I get bored I will stop an argument. I can become bored for many reasons and the boredom will creep up at different times. I don’t care who is right or wrong, if an argument no longer interests me it’s over. I must admit that if someone is being ridiculous I will egg them on for my own amusement. It’s no longer boring at that point.

@psychocandy Good point. I debate with people for two reasons. In some cases, I am hoping to convince them, or others following the discussion, that evidence is on the side of one particular position. In other cases, I am learning from the other person even if I may disagree with them. When neaither of those purposes is any longer served, boredom is exactly what sets in.

Great Question.
I try to not walk away, but i will tell them when the conversation is out of control.
I draw a line and tell them if they continue to be argumentitive or not respectuful, the the conversation will be over. Once crossed, i have given fair warning and will abandon the conversation by saying something like, “when you can have a respectiful and in control conversation, i will continue” I will also follow back up to ensure I close the loop.

When the other person refuses to accept that I’m right. :-P

More seriously, I get to a point where it becomes clear that the argument is going nowhere, when it’s apparent that the other person is so set in their ways that even logic and reason makes no impression on them.

Or if the other person is simply yelling or reacting in anger.

I can’t remember when a debate, even a civilized one, changed either party’s mind.

I find it best to avoid such discussions. Rancor makes my stomach ache.

i don’t walk away, ever, even if we both get killed (figuratively). Do that enough times then those that want to engage will do so by bringing some serious heat or not bother.

It looks like pretty much everyone on this question-or maybe everyone on fluther- is not open to having their opinions changed. That’s been my experience anyway.

Yup, pretty much.

I walk away too late. I let myself become emotionally involved and beyond angry before I give up. Not really sure why I do this.

I just don’t argue much. It makes my stomach sick and I think one of the meds I’m on makes me feel like a placid cow. But if it was really important, I’d stick it out to the end. Persistence, wear them down, I say.

@snowberry and @WillWorkForChocolate : There was a question about that many months ago. Unfortunately, I can’t find it now. I think you might have found the answers eyeopening. If I remember correctly, over half the answers mentioned changing or modifying an idea they’d held because of Fluther.

[Edit: Ta da! Here it is.]

@psychocandy good point. I get bored a lot too.

@snowberry Actually, several of us have said that our standards have to do with making proper arguments, like using formal logic, and not bullheaded adherence to our positions. I’ve changed my mind about things on this site, and many times in conversation. I’ve seen some of the people on here hold perfectly reasonable conversations, and when presented with a better argument change theirs, at least in part.

So I’m sorry your experience/reading points to a bunch of bullheaded shouters, but it has not been mine.

@snowberry I answered this without consideration of a heated debate of opinions or points. I only took into play the OP question stating arguments. Each still should have rules of respect. A party certainly has a right to not feel it fruitful and ask to end it whether out of frustration or conceed.

I walk away if:
The other person gives me the silent treatment.
The other person hurriedly apologizes and glosses over the issue without addressing it.
The other person starts name calling.
The other person slams stuff around.

When they haven’t given me real reason to call them stupid, and I’m about to do it anyway.

There’s a time when someone really is being stupid, but it’s often hours into it. Rarely do I get to that point before I really want to call them stupid, or use some other general term telling them they’re not worth it.

When I’m about to make a comment about someone that speaks to their general worth, and my hackles are up – I know that I have to walk away.

I don’t remember ever having walked away from an argument, but neither can I recall being insulted or offended by one. People can disagree with what I believe, even intensely so and I will gladly accept what they’re saying and offer my rebutal. Should they start attacking my character, using strawman arguments or using unstructured or repeated points this approach will still be so. I’ll offer my rebuttal and see that I provide a reply for all of their points i.e. “You’re just trying to be a smartass!” – “I am a smartass. But that’s irrelevant.”

I adore arguments and debates, regardless of how infantile they may become, so my opponent is almost always going to become fatigued before me. If not, the matter usually gets gradually disregarded or one of us leaves as we have a pre-arrangement to attend to.

@Nially_Bob

You sound like you would be exhausting to live with. lol

@Coloma lol, I make it sound worse than it is as myself and most others are usually happy to agree to disagree before the argument really begins. A huge exception being ex’s, some of which I’m almost certain have justified my murder in their heads.

@Nially_Bob

Uh oh, your on the ex’s hit list or shit list ey? haha

Well….I’ll be sure to tread lightly when on board your ship lest you make me walk the plank. ;-)

I stop talking and just listen when the voices get high pitched and loud. I don’t just walk away, but I opt out of fighting.

@gailcalled I can recall numerous times when I have had my mind swayed by evidence presented by the person I was debating. I know I have succeeded in changing some stances others took, as well. But there are two communities today, the Reality Based Community is swayed by evidence. If the evidence is solid and leads to a given conclusion, they will adopt a new position rather than deny what is right before their eyes. The Ideology or Faith Based Community will not. What they believe trumps what they can see. If facts don’t agree with their belief system, no amount of proof is sufficient to convince them to change their opinion. If it does agree with their ideology, no proof is even required.

@ETpro: I agree that we I will change my mind from time to time, after listening and thinking and brooding. But that doesn’t happen, for me at least, in the middle of a heated debate.

And I would not call it a change of mind as much as a reconsideration of issues.

Oh for cryin’ out loud. would you people just shut the hell up already!

@Coloma Hahaha, hit list or shit list, I like that.

And why would I make you walk the plank? Without someone to argue pointless crap with I’d be the one who got the short end of the straw on that deal.

@Coloma Ha! No.

Also, this is sometimes me.

@incendiary_dan LOL. Don’t you dare let my wife see that cartoon!

@ETpro Brace yourself. There are T-shirts. It’s only a matter of time until she sees it.

In that case… I have a feeling that this has happened a time or two on here.

When people decide my intentions are wrong and refuse to let me explain. This happens to me quite a lot. I start a discussion with someone, and before I know it, an angry mob is chasing me down the street, tar and feathers in hand, yelling “Burn the heretic!”

This is actually all but too common, I try to be respectful of other people’s beliefs and ideas, but I am often judged as being uncaring, offensive, or downright malevolent in my intentions. It really depresses me when people do that. When this happens and I see I have no way of convincing the other party they had me all wrong… that is when I just nod politely and leave. No point in talking to a brick wall.