Why do my ex gfs keep looking me up years later?

They are most likely jealous that you settled with someone other than them. It could be that they are curious to see how your life is going, since they have no life if they are bothering your family. Make it clear to them that you do not wanting them calling anymore. Sometimes you just have to be blunt with people for them to get the idea. Just come out and say it..STOP CALLING!

They’ve realized what a nice guy you are.

wow…all I can say is if I was your wifey I would no likey either! Those old gfs dont really have much of a life if there still calling you after 12 years I agree with babygall. Let them know it was nice talking to them and catching up but can’t out of repeat for your wifey…

unless you want to talk to them. Its all up to you.

I guess it would depend on the woman. I’d figure most would be benign “hey what’s up” kind of deals, some might be looking to re spark with you (but will back off if you’re taken), and others are the more nefarious home wrecker types that your wife is talking about.

I guess it’s gotta be handled on a case by case basis. I think it would be stupid to blow off possible friendships because your wife mistrusts others. Use your intuition though, and if you find yourself in a situation where the woman is mal-intented, just be happy, polite, and cheerful and talk about your wife and kids (even if you dont have them) alot.

But for god’s sake don’t tell them “I can’t talk to you because my wife won’t let me.” have some dignity.

It’s already caused friction from your post, so I would say be tactful but firm if your old gf’s are still calling.

Dude this happens to me too, and it’s always bad news when I start talking to them again. But I’m not married so it’s a little different

I will have to see if the last one calls again. It started with her saying how she was happily married, and happy for me. Next thing I know she is in a “loveless marriage” and telling me about it. I explained that I loved my wife and, although I was sorry for her situation I would not leave my wife to rescue her. I said thank you for the chance to catch up and have closure, but that I thought it best if we lived our lives as they are now. I said I would not do anything to hurt my wife or relationship, wished her the best, and said goodbye please don’t call anymore. I guess I will see if she calls back. The other one was a couple of weeks ago, and I just kept talking about my wife and how happy we are and how much I love her. She called several times though, so I think I have to be a bit firmer with her. Oi! It is hard, because I don’t wish them bad, or dislike them really, but I don’t see being friends with them because of our history, and also the distances between us. Being nice is not seeming to work too well.

you did everything right stevenb. And@ sinscriven its not the fact that his wife might not let him, its about being considerate of her feelings, and seeing that it upsets her.

You could try mentioning a few choice words to them when they call, like “Stalker”, “Psycho”, and “Restraing Order”. That should get rid of those nasty pests!

There are 4 potential reasons they keep contacting you:
1. The ex has issues letting go
2. You’re the ‘what-if’ guy – although unlikely to be for all your ex’s
3. You’re a great listener and they miss talking to you
4. You’re a great lover and they call when they get lonely

Whatever the case may be, they are ex’s and the wants and needs of your current must come before theirs

If she calls again, tell her she is not respecting you or your marriage, so it has to stop. At this point, I don’t think you have to be so polite with her, because by jeopardizing your relationship with your wife, she is not showing signs of being a decent person, or a potential “friend”. If she is willing, you could have your wife intercept the calls. Or simply don’t answer if you see her name on caller ID. Do whatever you can to discourage her from calling. To make it simpler for everyone involved, just get a new unlisted phone number.

Thanks for all of the answers! @TheHaight, you are totally right. My wife knows I Love her, but knows I don’t like to be rude or mean to others either. I have only ever dated 6 women including my wife, and only four have found me. Two have said that I was the one that got away, but I always tell them I am married and please respect our marriage. Hopefully they will move on.

maybe u were good in bed

@TheHaight: I understand and agree with that completely. All I meant by that is there are ways to get the point across without verbally coming across as if one was a child afraid of getting punished by talking to strangers.Just seems more respectable to voluntarily say you’d rather not get involved because of your lifestyle, than to admit it out of duress.

Yes, it does seem more repectable. And Stevenb was really nice and sincere about letting the exes know that he’s married. But he also said “being nice is not seeming to work that well” so in the end, who cares about the exes and there feelings? Its your marriage you should care about, that comes first. Stevenb also said one ex called several times- that isn’t appropriate, and thats when you tell them straight up..

THEY WANT YOU BACK AND WANT TO LOVE YOU BECUSE YOU LOOK HOTTER OR YOU CHNGE BECAME A NEW WHOLE NEW PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHATS UP WITH THE CAPS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!