What should I do? My son's paternal grandmother contacted me?

Why not hear her out? Maybe she wants to make amends or even set up some kind of trust fund for your child. You can listen and decide whatever she has to say is in your son’s best interest.

What @chyna said.

Gee…tough call. I think it is all up to you. You have to think of the psychological impact of this sudden intrusion into your sons life. IMO it could be real good to know his real Gmom or could then raise the question of who is this man who is supposed to be my real dad and why won’t he step up to see me like his mom is??

Contact her. You made the overture once, and you have all the control in this situation. It would not hurt to hear what she has to say. Talking to her is not the same as letting her meet your son. Perhaps something has happened to her son.

I think if you don’t make contact and your children find out after she is gone they may resent you later for denying them the opportunity to get to know her. I’m sure she felt she was in a difficult spot. On one hand her son may look at her like she is betraying him and on the other she wants to get to know her grandkids but may worry that you may take them out of her life later because of their dad.
I agree with @chyna, hear her out. If your worry that she may hurt them by deciding to bow out later than make this known to her and see what her intentions are.

I agree with @chyna and @Pandora. It might not hurt to send her a couple of pictures as well.

I have no problem allowing my son (when he is ready) to know the real story of his father and what happened. His father is now locked in jail for 7 more years on drug charges however. I was young, and stupid and loved living life in the fast lane. For a while it hurt to know that my son would one day have to go through the same search that I did as a child. My father wasnt present either, and my mother had always tried to hide that part of us away. I decided to keep all letters, contact information and pictures. So when my son started asking questions I could give him an open, honest answer and help if I could. I started searching when I was 13-Im 27 and still wonder about the family I never knew sometimes. My delimma is that I offered up to this woman and her son every opportunity (even visiting the jail while I was pregnant). I never asked for child support and I told them I wanted nothing other than to offer a relationship with my unborn child and they denied him. Now she wants to make contact?

You should at least hear what Gmom has to say. She may have had a change of heart. Or maybe she’s contacting you to let you know that something happened to her son. You said that Dad is in jail, but are you in any contact with him?

After you talk to Gmom, you can decide whether or not to let her meet your son and then beyond that, you can decide if you want her to have a relationship with your son. If you don’t talk to her, you will always have the nagging “what if” questions.

You are in total control of this situation, so if after talking to Gmom, you don’t want them to meet, then that will be your call. Good luck, I hope this all works out for all of you.

Totally agree with what @Pandora and @chyna say. Just find out what she wants, then make your decision

Hey hon, I had edit a similar problem I realize none are exact. I got pregnant with my daughter at 18. Unfortunatley there was always an issue with who was the father the guy I married who passed away or a guy a had a relationship with who was a real ass and actually was seeing my daughter for the first 2yrs until he skipped town with my daughter without telling me. I cut him off that day, neither guy was listed as the father on the birth certificate so that protected me a little, I figured whoever wanted to step up would adopt which eventually was my husband, who my daughter believes is her father. So anyway back to my point I was letting the “other” grandma see my daughter up until about 5 yrs ago with one rule…she was not to bring my daughter near that guy. Well she brought her to an Xmas get together he was there, she told me because she knew my daughter would tell me. I stopped all get togethers right then and there. I told her if she wanted to see my daughter anymore it had to be supervised by me no if ands or buts about it. The truth is after the rule was set in place she never called again. Her loss. This is what I think and it goes for grammas and daddies. If it’s not going to be consistent or mutual and there is no respect for the rules of the parent who has sole custody then F* em. If you think you can trust this lady then by all means go ahead, but by the sounds of the last “interaction” maybe a supervised visit for lunch at a local mcdonalds would be better. I mean anyone who can go without seeing their grand kids or children for years doesn’t care about the kids, it’s that simple. I couldn’t go more than 2 weeks without going bonkers for my girl.

I really feel for you in this situation. It’s tough. However, you’ve been given some get suggestions here. Receiving an email from the grandmother will be something that only you see. It will then be up to you to follow up, and you don’t have to make that decision today. You can “think about that tomorrow,” as Scarlet O’Hara would say.

Your son’s mother may be regretting the lack of contact. Why not respond to her?

oK! Response has been sent:
I received your email requesting to contact you through email or phone. Im
not able to get a hold of you through the phone at this time however. Im
stationed overseas in Sicily, Italy and it is sometimes difficult for us to
place overseas phone calls. So at this point it is best through email. I
hope this finds you well. We have been doing ok here in Italy, it is
different, but an experience we both won’t forget. Please let me know what I
can do, or why it is that you have contacted me. I know it has been some
time since we last spoke in Charleston, but again, I hope all is welll.
Thanks,

@Baddreamer27 Bravo. Very nicely done.

@Baddreamer27 : Good for you.

Sounds great! Cant wait to find out what the response will be, and hopefully you will get one a nice one. Looks like there may not be many get together’s anyway, as you are in a different part of the world.

I wish you the best possible for this new start.

I would, just to see what she wants. If I can reap benefits out of her for my son, I would.

A sporadic relationship with a grandmother is not as devastating as a sporadic relationship with a parent. It’s sort if like the aunt you see every few years. If you treat it as normal, without expectation so will your son.
Usually, when kids have anxiety about these things it’s because they picked it up from the parents vibe.
Your child deserves all the love in his life he can get. Different people will offer different levels of love. Don’t set your child up to have any expectations from this woman and see how the relationship progresses, evaluating it as time goes on.
My children have 3 sets if grandparents and they all add something different and special to their lives, even though their level of involvement is different

i agree with @chyna . Blood is blood. You can listen and determine what is best.

What could it hurt?