Do you think the people of Fluther can sometimes (just sometimes) be intolerant and judgemental of people that don't agree with their politics or correctness?

Yes. However, the choice to leave must be owned by the individual that has done so and more often than not, in the cases that I’ve seen of people leaving, the leaving itself was an attention seeking move and only made things worse because other random people just looove to ride that backlash. I’ve seen others behave even more childishly behind the scenes, threatening to leave here and there, bitching and moaning, as if we’re here to babysit. I’ve never seen Fluther as a community drive anyone off in any real manner that was vicious. Besides, there is no one Fluther, and people on Fluther can one day agree and another disagree.

This place on the whole, IMO, is one of the most civil fora outside of MetaFilter.

These are human beings you’re talking about here, though, each with their own biases, flashpoints and so on. Even Jesus supposedly cracked a whip on people once. Maybe one day I’ll open a can of verbal whoop-ass on here, you never know. I’m learning to just not take things personally, and recognize that everyone has their reasons for believing what they believe. You never know how someone came to the “my way or the highway” mindset. What are you gonna do?

People will speak and behave they way they want to, regardless of what others might think, and we all must deal with others the best we can. If someone’s attacking me, I speak my piece, then “peace out”. That’s all I can do. I can’t speak for anyone else here on that score.

I think there’s a lot of reasons people can behave “intolerantly” towards others with differing views. Sometimes it’s as simple as people meaning/interpreting the same words differently, or coming from an issue with different sets of knowledge and not realizing it. Sometimes people hold a belief so strong, and have so much emotion tied up in it, that they can only react with hostility when someone present differing ideas and information. Some people simply don’t know how to hold a logical debate, and get upset when others point that out and/or try to keep a debate productive. Some people really just have legitimate reading and comprehension problems and/or infer nastiness where there is none, and react to that.

So far my patience hasn’t been worn out by people with differing views here, but with people derailing conversations because they didn’t have valid rebuttals, and being particularly nasty in blaming others for that.

These are all true on Fluther and anywhere else.

In spite of the fact that we can all hide behind our keyboards, we’re still humans, here, typing away. I hate when the bitchslapping starts and good threads get derailed with pissy accusations and recriminations, but I’d hate to see this site become one full of toadies and yes-people. False civility is almost worse than no civility. almost The ability to click or walk away is a wonderful thing. The ability to temper one’s views so as to have a firm opinion but not piss everybody off is, too.

Yes, I can be too harsh.

Sowwy.

Of course. We’re human. People generally get their hackles up when someone says something that disagrees or contradicts our own beliefs.

For the most part, we do our best to be civil, but it’s not always possible.

Some people on here are insufferable if you disagree with them.

Indeed.. at times. it can occur in all our personalities to come out as unnecessarily aggressive, condescending, hostile… whatever..
But it’s to be expected: the people on this site are people… ( the human ones.. you know..)
Anything in our daily lives can effect our moods, thus by chain reaction the way we express ourselves..
Moral is we definitely should learn how to enact dialectic peacefully, or rather.. productively.
And not just take advantage of the fact that we can hide behind the mask of virtual reality.
I’m sure some of the most “aggressive” individuals here are oft silent and rarely find the chance to express their opinions anywhere out of the web.
Our true selves should be what they are, only tamed to respect the limits of coexistence.

@Mikewlf337 Indeed, and that is sad. very sad.
Though we can all agree here, on this question.. let’s say it’s an oasis of momentary peace and rest for our already broken moods and patience.
I only hope not to meet you in another question and find that either of us is contradicting or enacting what we are now expressing here.

@Anatelostaxus disagreements are bound to happen and arguments happen because both sides believe they are unquestionably right. It really is unavoidable but it is also important to understand why others feel that way.

~ NO! How dare you even ask such a question? I absolutely can’t stand people who question the tolerance of Fluther users. We are all the most tolerant, egalitarian humans alive. You must be totally blind not to see that ~

What kind of question is that? You sound like a God-damned atheist.

Just being people being people. The more “open minded” they claim to be, the more they’re likely to rant at others who they don’t feel is as open minded. Which is kind of an oxy moron.

I’ve also seen instances where the angered person who left could not defend any of their arguments and then cried “persecution” when they were being called out on not being able to back up anything they were saying. Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.

@filmfann, shut up, you ignorant Christofascist~

Yes. It happens on Fluther, and… well… anywhere else people with multiple, differing viewpoints dilly dally around with each other.

The worst part is that no party will admit guilt, and constantly defers to the other party. I.e. (I’ll worry about the flaws of [insert in-group here], when [insert opposing group here] stops being a bunch of hateful, evil, hypocrites, etc.)

It just keeps going back and forth forever and there’s no way to get above the fray. Oh well. Most people on here are pretty nice. The douchebags are just the loudest.

C’est la vie

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Have I’ve never told you thins but…....(guys! help me find something bad to say about Fiddle dude here…..)

@Dutchess_III, I’ll save you the trouble.

I’m an evil, socialist, Rethuglican, Demoncrap, liberal, baby-killing, war-mongering, obama-hating, obama-loving, capitalist, communist, Islamofascist, ignorant, Christian, atheist, terrorist, Faux-news watching, Rachel Maddow humping, did i mention baby killing, homeschooler, satanist, evolutionist, creationist, feminist, woman-hating, racist, gay, homophobic, mote of a man who is only capable of using ad hominems in my feeble excuses for arguments. I should just grow up and be enlightened.

What do I win?

OMG. You…you…you..homeschool????

@Dutchess_III, yes! Mwahahaha. And I make sure that my children don’t believe in dinosaurs and that they never have any social interaction with other children

ever. again.

mwhaahahahahahaahahha

but yeah, that’s basically a list of ad hominems I’ve seen people actually use before multiple times. Many of them have even been used against me. Covers all the bases, I suppose.

But…I DO believe in dinosaurs! I DO believe in dinosaurs! clap clap!
BTW…do you really play the fiddle? Don’t you know that that is EVIL!?

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I think that list of ad hominems just made you my hero on Fluther.

Omg, yes! Like you though, I thought the idea of some anonymity was to be able to say what you’ve got to say. Sometimes people turn themselves inside out here and ask, don’t pull any punches, what do you really think? It’s not what we want to hear as a collective, It’s not all what we want to hear as individuals but it does give you something to mull around in the old noggin.

Of course! Anyone who tells you they are totally without bias is full of crap. It’s impossible to be human and be unbiased all the time on every subject.

@incendiary_dan, all in a day’s work, comrade.

@Dutchess_III, but I play the fiddle very, very poorly, so does that make me a good person?

just sometimes…

Some people are more or less disagreeable and obstinate than others. Most people seem to be o.k. generally and the ones that aren’t I try to stay away from. I’m pretty opinionated myself and I try my best not to be a jerk but I don’t always succeed. The real assholes don’t last very long around here it seems.

Yes, it can be too harsh and judgmental. Like the thread earlier this week that drove @Bobo1946 to leave. I just did not understand the ganging up that occurred nor why the participants would not let go.

I would extend this to say the people of the world act that way. People on Fluther are a subset of that.

Everybody in life period passes some sort of judgement at one point or another the moment you feel someone doesn’t have your morals or your sense of fairness or even your likes. Its human nature. Why would anyone expect fluther to be any different.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : You forgot “puppy-kicker”. Just sayin.

@Mikewlf337 The quest is to make it avoidable.

@CaptainHarley said it best.:)

Fluther is full of opinions good or bad and IMO why we are all here.

@lucillelucillelucille

Thank you, Lucille! : ))

@CaptainHarley You’re welcome! :))

@CaptainHarley does make an excellent point, but where do we go from there? I think it is incumbent upon all of us to actively identify and marginalize all our biases. It isn’t possible to eliminate all bias, but it is important to always actively pay attention to if one is doing it and to what degree.

Sort of like the news media. All news has some bias, but some organizations actively endeavor to try to minimize the bias as much as possible, while other actively assert their bias into their “news.”

This is something that’s become important to me, and I’m always trying (with varying success, and is very influenced by my mood) to improve. The goal should be pure objectivity. Not an attainable goal, but better to be inches than miles from it.

At a minimum, one should at least notice it.

I think it’s potentially dishonest and maybe even dangerous to aim for pure objectivity. I say it is better to understand one’s biases and underlying premises, and be honest with them. Propagandists operate by trying to slide their premises by people so they automatically agree. The most constructive sort of conversation does a pretty good job of examining unstated premises.

I think we are saying the same thing. I should have expanded to say I mean in reference to ascertain facts about an issue. I don’t mean one should find pure objectivity in, say, choosing what music or movies one likes. But in evaluating matters of politics, social issues, or scientific data, pure objectivity should be the goal.

I’m open to discussing this further.

It’s like anyplace else. We’re all just people here and we act like it.

I said that first @Rarebear!
Perhaps the real question is WHY some people get so bent out of shape if some does something, no matter how trivial, that they disagree with. I think it’s a combination of a lack of maturity, intelligence and self esteem. The best example that comes to mind is that young girl who was all bent because she was sure everyone hated Justin Beiber. It was so silly, and she was so blind, even for a 14 year old, that you wonder what her attitudes will be like 10 years from now.

A lot of questions ask for opinions. There’s no way that we can express our opinions in order to answer the question without ruffling a feather here or there. That’s why they’re opinions and not facts.

The problem arises when people sometimes state their opinions as fact, and refuse to acknowledge anyone else’s opinion as a potential truth.

Good answer @Seelix!

Yes. Aren’t we more or less a microcosm of the country?

@Austinlad

Nope. For one thing there are far, far more liberals here than in the Country at large.

@cockswain I really like the problem solving/conflict resolution traditions of the Okinagan people in British Columbia. In big part, it involves people stating what they know about what happened or knowledge in general about it, without others jumping in or judging, and people going around and adding to the knowledge. It’s a great way to build consensus, particularly because so many arguments come from people not having the same information. One of our recent conversations about guns and gun control was greatly helped because we realized we were using terms differently.

Unfortunately, it requires something that people in our culture have a problem with: 100 %honesty. This has to go so far as to be wary of what sort of language we use, as language guides thought and in debates people have the habit of charging their statements with emotion, or guiding through manipulative wording.

Sorry it took me a bit to get back to this.

@Austinlad and @CaptainHarley Internet forums are also prone to be disproportionately representative of the middle class rather than the working poor, as the latter tends to have less internet access. Not a huge difference from the general population, since most people today have computers, but at least a slight statistical difference. And of course, being a forum where the language is English, we get English speakers.

I don’t come on Fluther every single day of my life, so I am not as familiar with this site as several other users on this site seem to be.

What I do know is that every group of people has its problems… and the grass often looks greener on the other side of the fence.

Disagreements here actually seem quite minor to me because I don’t come here often. Maybe If I come here more often, that will be a different story.

Familiarity can breed contempt and has been known to do so, so it could be argued that if someone online is getting to a person too much, it may be time for the person who has allowed his or her feathers to be ruffled by another person’s words to take a break to cool off and do something else more productive and satisfying with his or her life that will help create more positive feelings inside that person.