Why would my mother leave me nothing, when she died?

These things can be very complicated sometimes and I don’t know anything about you or your family but did your sister give you any explanation or information about why your mother left you out completely? Did your mother leave a will or just deeded the house to your sister? That the entire “estate?” Could she have willed you some other assets if she had them? She left you nothing at all and your sister everything?

Sorry about your loss.

Does your sibling need the house more than you? Other than that she apparently favored your sibling more than you and only you would know the reason(s) there. Not much you can do about it now other than to let go and move on with your life.

Are you the older or younger sibling? Does that matter in your family? Have you and your family been perceived by your late mother to be better off/more secure than your sibling? Do you have a spouse and your sibling doesn’t?

So many things go into why stuff gets left to some and not to others. I know from doing title work for real estate that a lot of people don’t have beneficiaries set up for most things and when confronted with the request to provide one then they usually go with the oldest child.

Right now, like @Cruiser wrote, you need to grieve your loss and not be hard on yourself for how property or belongings were divied.

Many children do not realize their parents actually owe them nothing. Now that she is no longer around to ask, you might never know.

Hmm. Death and wills are a very touchy subject to me. There is never any way to know what she was thinking. Maybe she believed your sister to be much more responsible than you, sometimes even if a will is made a very long time ago people get left out, some people don’t always redo their will every few years which really should be done. I suggest everyone have a will and have it updated constantly and speak your mind aloud about what you want so there is never any confusion, if it gets into the otherwise wrongs persons hands they tend to decide whatever they want, sometimes even their ideas of how it should go can even be different.

I second those who suggested reasons like your marital status and birth order. In some families, the oldest child gets everything. In other families, the opposite is true. Also, I don’t want to hurt you, but this may be a case of simple favoritism. Mothers are human, ater all, and some aren’t good at hiding their favoritism (even in death).

I have discussed my mom’s will and wishes with her at length (oldest child, most frequent caregiver) and I know that she plans to leave something to me and to my sister (youngest) and to my sister’s children. She is not planning to leave anything to my brother (middle) because of how he has treated her over the years. He has called and left threatening messages and just given her nothing but disrespect and grief. He will likely make a federal case of things after Mom passes, but she has worked with an attorney to protect her wishes to the extent possible.

Mom would have been happy to explain all this to my brother if he could carry on a civil conversation. Not saying this bears ANY similarity to your situation, just sharing a different angle on the question.

@YARNLADY Yes, of course, parents don’t owe their children anything at all but don’t you get how hurtful it might be for one sibling to get everything and for the other sibling to get nothing? With no explanation? That’s quite a bit different from kids merely whining about getting nothing.

@lillycoyote Yes, I can see that it would be hurtful, but I find it hard to accept that it was completely out of the blue.

My mom & stepfather passed away in January in a mobile home fire & soon as I got the call, I drove straight up there (17 hours) all night & when I got up there, I went to the mobile home first & then tried to figure out what to do as far as expenses for burial, so I called her lawyer & he told me to contact the probate lawyer downstairs. I did that & he told me he had a will. I knew my mom had money saved up for this reason, so I thought the will would tell me what to do as far as the funeral expenses. When I got the will, I was shocked! She wrote all of her kids out of the will, except my youngest brother that has spent his life in prison. ( He was in prison when the will was written). She made my brother the successor PR but wrote all of us other kids out of the will. I understood 2 of them being written out, but I didnt understand me & my other brother being wrote out. I called my mom every single day to make sure she was ok, I had just told her a month before that I needed to move back closer to take care of her & my stepfather. I went through craigslist to find someone to shovel her snow. I did everything humanly possible all my life with my entire family. Mom & I had our ups & downs but it was because she kept so much confusion going between all the family. She would talk to me, if I said anything about one of my brothers, she would call that brother & tell him what I said whether it was good or bad & add more to it.. She just couldnt stand for any of us to get along. So my brother, that she left everything to, got out of prison a month after she wrote the will, found a girlfriend & both of them started doing breaking & entering, so my brother went back to prison 4 months later. His original sentence was minimum 2.5 yrs, maximum 30 years. He was out on parole, so I am not sure how long he is gone now as it was parole violation. Then just recently, they charged him for the B &Es he was doing while out, so hes going to court for 10 more counts. He hired a probate attorney & is taking all the personal belongings & the vehicles & having someone put in a pole barn till he gets out. The mobile home is still sitting there, which the park wants it removed. The lawyer should have been taking care of this. Im embarrassed for my mom, but she put herself in this situation. I dont understand why. I have been having dreams & think about her every day. I thought she thought of me more than this. She has had to visit my brother in prison all his life ( hes 42 yrs old). She knew I have always came to the rescue for all my family. I always have all of my life. Thats what makes it so hard for me to get over this, she doesnt owe me anything, but she knew I would take care of everything, just like I did with the funeral. Did she not think beyond death? Did she not realize the effect of this? I am an only daughter. I dont know what survived the fire, but I was hoping for pictures. I also thought moms personal items, such as jewerly & womens items, my brother would have no use for. But obviously my mom thought so. My brother says when he gets out, he will decide what goes to who. 30 yrs in a pole barn, pictures will be destroyed if they arent already. I miss my mom a lot & love her much, but I just wish she would have talked to me about it. :(

I have never been so devastated in my life, nor felt more abandoned and betrayed as I do now.
My mom died Dec 12. She had been sick for a long time but nobody saw her death as imminent. I was devastated at her loss. Who could have thought anything could have gotten worse? I planned a luncheon for her friends of 40 years and more, to have at her house, so that they could go through her things – and take what they might like to have of hers. I thought this would be a good way of helping myself and her friends in dealing with her loss. I got to her house, with all the food I had cooked only to find my brother and his wife were moving into her house and already getting rid of her things. My brother is executor. I have not seen a will. My brother told me to get moms things out by end of day or they were going to Good Will. His wife then tells me that my mom left them the house and everything in it, and her car. I had her wedding ring on a chain and was wearing it. She came to me hand out, and said my mom had left my brother her wedding ring also, that it was in the will. I took the ring off and gave it to her and said I thought I probably should leave. My sister in law basically chased me out yelling at me .. I guess I am in such a state of shock. My mom never let on that she had done this. My dad did not speak to his family after his dad died because they did this to him and my mom resented her sister for the last 20+ years of her life because her sister had taken most everything when my granddad died. Now my mom has done the same thing to me and with no warning. How do you get past this kind of hurt? I did my moms memorial service by myself, and have planned her internment – my brother said the was not going – take pictures. A lawyer has the will, brother is executor – I have no idea who the lawyer is, my brother is just moving right on along and here I am spending way too much time wondering what I could have done to have meant so little to my mom.

Hi There,

I have no answer for you and I know how painful this is. My Mom passed away 2 months ago. There are 8 children but three of us were not included any of the arrangements for our mother. I had to call the Funeral home to find out what time the funeral was. One of my sisters and I went to the house the day our Mom passed away. We could tell the band of five wanted us gone. One sister was the primary care giver. She has told us the house is hers even before our mother died.
I stayed two weeks to help her care for my Mom and discovered she is a mean nasty drunk and was mean to my mother. I even tried to throw her out of the house. The five siblings could care less about her drunken behaviours which I’m sure they knew about. The will was read after the funeral, thd three of us were not included and never told if we are even in it. I’m assuming we have been disinherited but nobody has contacted us. My older sibling has sent several emails to our sister the executor but she does not respond.
I am joint on my mother’s one bank account but nobody has contacted me. Again I am assuming my sister has emptied my mother’s account as she was joint on the account too. She lived with my Mom for 7 years or should I say lived off her. She had her do all sorts of Reno’s and upgrades on the house and now we know why she gets the house.
The three of us are torn apart and so sad and broken. Shocked that your own blood would treat you so disrespectfully and we have no closure. Never got to see our Mom after she died they cremated her and never let us take part in picking out an urn or being present. They sent her to the funeral home in her pajamas. My Mom would of been horrified. They could to wait to get rid of her.
So as much as I sympathize with you, I have no idea how to move on. It feels like my life was a lie and the three of us meant nothing to our five siblings. They all just wanted my Mother’s house and everything else she had and made sure we were disinherited.
I k ow you are to move forward and forget about it all. Our spouses don’t want us talking about this anymore. Just brush it under the carpet and act normal with a huge broken heart.
I wish you much luck and heartfelt condolences. I try writing in a book it sometimes helps.if you have close friends they help but the don’t know your pain and never will.