Are you this Jelly? The Jelly below me______ Part 6?

TJBM is taking a looooong time to craft a response!

False =P
TJBM probably won’t end up being AmWiser.

Ooop! I forgot to post the first question.
False. Tis I.
TJBM is thinking about cancelling plans for the weekend.

False.
TJBM is playing tug of war with their dog while Fluthering. I am.

Nope. She’s upstairs sleeping on my daughter’s bed.

TJBM is a painter (either of walls, houses, or pictures).

Have been all, but now only walls.

TJBM is waiting, unhappily, for the next big winter storm…which is coming on Friday, for us. Pooh.

True. It is coming here Friday for us also. It’s supposed to be down to 15 degrees.
TJBM has a bit of a hangover from last night.

True. I did have a little more wine last night than I thought.
TJBM has kissed a member of the same sex.

And then some.
TJBM needs to wash towels.

True.
TJBM is a cat person.

TJBY is an all furry critter person.

TJBM likes morning news shows so s/he doesn’t go to bed with bad news in her/his head.

False. No news for me at all, unless a glimpse on my home page, Checked out of all media in 2001. Besides, there is no new news under the sun, just the same old recycling since time immemorial. Murder, mayhem, corruption, disease, disaster, pestilence….ho hum.

TJBM was marveling at the full moon this morning before sunrise.

False, I was marveling at the full moon last night.
TJBM doesn’t know when to give up.

Give up what?

True enough, I’m a tenacious little thing. ;-)

TJBM is expecting a walkin’ on sunshine day.

False. This jelly has too much crap to deal with.
TJBM has cool oven cleaning products.

There are oven cleaning products??????

TJBM loves to roast and bake stuff. Can you tell I’m missing having a working oven?

True. But in spurts, not every day, or even every week.

TJBM gets sex product spam such as ‘The erection pack’. WTF? Where DOES this weirdness ‘come’ from.lol

Not so much but every now and then I have had emails asking if I would like a bigger penis!!!!

TJBM likes the idea of owning a sex shop I quite fancy myself the new Ann Summers!

False. I’m 51 now, sexed out, that would be a job best suited to a younger person. But..I do joke about becoming a madam.
A great retirement biz.
I’d make a fine madam, I’d treat my girls well and my house is decorated like an asian brothel/opium den. Perfect! Of course I’d only cater to high end clients like my county D.A. I could be the equivilent of the mountain version of Heidi Fleiss. lol

TJBM is going to visit a relative today.

@Coloma I can totally picture that. Do you have boobs like Dolly Parton by any chance? Rather than “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” it would be “The Best Little Whorehouse on Coloma’s mountain” :)

False. I spent the weekend with relatives.

TJBM has never ice skated.

False. I was quite good when I was younger. had my own boots, outfits etc
TJBM Loves the job they are in.

False. But I’d trying really hard to find one in my area of study!!

TJBM likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

@Leanne1986

LOL..not quite the Parton boobs, but yeah, I could ‘do it.’
Colomas girls do it best! ;-)

True. But on toast not bread. I like PB & spun honey better thoguh. Mmmm

TJBM has a deadline of some sort today.

False, but I have one before the end of the month. ( more salt scrubs and soaps to make )

TJBM doesn’t eat breakfast, but pigs-out at lunchtime.

False. Crumpets with honey, or a toasted bagel and peanut butter, please.

TJBM’s hormones are out of control today.

Not true.I’m justifiably pissed.
TJBM is gasping for air.

False.

TJBM has a big nose.

False. It isn’t straight, but it isn’t big either
TJBM would dearly love to kill someone or something today.

Am I the only one who’s happy today? Talk to me Friday when the next snow comes through…

TJBM is going out for lunch, today.

False, this jelly is out to lunch. But happier than a few minutes ago.
TJBM would like to do a good deed for another jelly today.

There’s some falsiness to that. I would but I already sort of did a good deed for another jelly today.

TJBM is going to call his or her mom, or sister maybe, on the phone just to chat sometime today.

True. I talk to Mom everyday, whether I see her or not.
TJBM has a collection (of something) they are proud of.

False. I have a vast collection of crap but I’m not proud of it.
TJBM has a roommate or and SO with a really annoying habit but is not willing to confront the person about it just yet.

False.

Just let go of a friend/biz. partner a few months ago that was becoming increasingly emotionally abusive due to her stress levels and unexamined baggage.

Made allowances for the first few ‘episodes’, then, told her that her behavior was unacceptable and that I was too healthy to overlook her ‘stuff’ these days.

I wish her well, but, time to let go.

TJBM has a paypal account.

False.

TJBM is listening to Lady Gaga. TJ is.

False.

TJBM is not a fan of Lady Gaga. TJ isn’t.

Damn Right Lifehouse Wrecking Ball!
TJBM has a very rare, and unusual talent.

True.

I am the ‘goose whisperer.’ lol
I can put Marwyn in a trance upside down on my lap, he will fall into a deep, deep, state of hypnotic relaxation gazing into each others blue eyes. haha

TJBM is excited about something today. Only 2 hours til the housekeepers arrive, oh, my heart be still.

TRUE! Last night, I read the book that I had been waiting a year for. Blew through it in 4 hours so now I’m rereading it, slowly. I’m also super excited about my daughter’s slumber party on Saturday.

The jelly below me plays/has played World of Warcraft.

False – never have in my life
TJBM says ‘like’ every 2 seconds.

Nope, but I’m old enough to remember when kids said “you know…” the way they say “like” these days.

TJBM is wearing a sweater so soft s/he wants to marry it.

False.

TJBM wants to go to the beach.

Not today, although I’d love to go to Maverick beach (50-feet waves) sometime.

TJBM almost always buckles up before they drive.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Like OMG, I can’t believe that you would like post such a statement. I mean, I’m like so totally offended right now that like I can’t even like think straight!

True, and I always pester others to do the same.

TJBM always wears shorts to exercise.

Nope, usually scrubs or sweats.

TJBM still has a mess of old floppies (including the original floppy ones) stored carefully away somewhere. Maybe they’ll make good coasters?

True. Have you been in my closet?

TJBM has broken a bone in their body.

True, a couple of years ago
THBM wants to be Christ-like.

Nah, my beard days are in the past. Turning water into wine would be pretty neat, though.

TJBM has a way with words.

True. Verbosity rules!

TJBM needs to eat breakfast now before they keel over. projection

False. It’s lunchtime here and I’m eating.

TJBM has met someone famous and had a conversation with him/her.

True: Jose Canseco, Kevin Eubanks, Geena Davis, Johnny Galecki (Big Bong Theory), Michael Richards, and James Cromwell.

The last two digits of the birth year of TJBM, plus the age they will be this year, add up to 111.

True but we discovered why in JustJessica’s thread. :)
TJBM would make a good politician.

Not very likely.

TJBM likes mint jelly.

False.I like cherry jelly.
TJBM has a beautiful voice.

No. It is a voice though, and that’s something right there.

TJBM has a rodent for a pet.

True/false. I save a lot of rodents from my cats, Deer mice, Wood rats, Voles, Gophers. I used to have pet rats. I love them little rodent faces.

TJBM is wearing a band aid somewhere on their body.

False.

TJBM has bought clothes that ended up never being used.

True what a waste of money

TJBM’s favorite TV series was canceled

If so, it’s been a long time. Nowadays my favorite TV shows are regular re-runs, if I watch TV at all.

TJBM has an irrational fear.

True… my fear is of water
TJBM Has eaten something today they know they shouldn’t have

Not yet, but I might later.

TJBM would like to live someplace other than where they live now.
If so, where would you rather live?

So true. The city is fine, but I want a different house.

TJBM wants a new hair style.

False – I want to continue to grow my hair long.
TJBM loves being sexually worshipped.

TRUE, but like many old places of worship, I look amazing, but people don’t come like they used to.

TJBM regrets not going back to school to get a higher degree.

Sometimes I wish I did so I could give more authoritative opinions on some topics that I care about, but my attraction to recreational activities usually overrides that wish.

TJBM has lurved this question (the OP) and at least some of the answers in this thread.

Totally true!

The jelly below me is a beautiful, 51 yr old sweetheart! Quick, somebody go get @Coloma!

I fit that description about 13 years ago, hah hah. ;-p

TJBM can name the tectonic plate on which they live.
http://i53.tinypic.com/eqzi2s.gif

Uh, maybe? Is it the Pacific plate? I know there is a fault line between the western slope of the Sierra Nevadas ( where I live )and the Nevada side of the Sierras. Hows that for concise ramble. haha

TJBM is leaving for the rest of the day. another projection.

False. I’ll be here for another couple of hours, at least.
TJBM is on a diet.

—@WillWorkForChocolate—

I think out bonding is complete, welcome to the family darling! lol
Okay..she’s so outta here! poof, like magic, gone.

False. But I should be. haha :\
TJBM has a mirror in their living room/den/rec room.

False I only have them in the bathrooms of my apartment.
( I don’t look at myself that much to have one in every room)

TJBM loves dancing when no one is watching.
I sure do

Yes, only then, because if I do it in front of others I will be placed in a straightjacket!
TJBM has a nasty cough that won’t leave them!

False, knocks wood so I don’t get one

TJBM is thinking “what should I make for dinner tonight?”

True! and i only just got out of bed!
TJBM is 7ft tall Bright green and has super powers.

OMG true.
TJBM thinks I’m full of shit.

Absolutely False!
TJBM has lost something recently.

False… I think?

TJBM just had his or her car washed, so now it’s nice and clean and shiny.

True: my Civic EX is a clean, green machine.

TJBM tries to park their vehicle so that it doesn’t encroach on an adjacent parking spot.

False, my vehicle goes wherever it damn well wants to go.
TJBM has suffered severe physical and psychological damage in consequence of his coffee enema addiction.

False, never drink coffee
TJBM has more than 5 scars.

True. I can’t even count, to be honest.
TJBM is a lifelong gamer, and has the trigger thumb to prove it. I do. Clickity-click-click.

False. I only recently bought a PS3, my last console had been the N64.

TJBM has received a professional massage.

False, that creeps me out.
TJBM is going back to school after having been out for quite some time.

Yes.

TJBM has a water containment pond near their home.

False.

TJBM has a stash of, um, adult-oriented media.

Nope.

TJBM has a junker for a car.

False.

TJBM has been told he or she uses her smartphone too much when in the company of others.

False I’m the one American that has a phone but never carries it with them.
TJBM has a dog.

True, I have two toy poodles, :)
TJBM has a genital piercing.

False, ouch.

TJBM would like to share a joke with us.

It was false before I knew the existence of a belief that I had a joke at the ready was there. So no, false.

TJBM was not impressed by my lack of having a joke prepared.

True.
TJBM has a hilarious joke prepared.

I used to have one that my wife sent me, but it’s gone.

TJBM can name someone who they don’t think has ever changed their avatar.

True. @bob_. I think.
TJBM can think of someone that is constantly changing their avatar.

True, @Jude

TJBM hates when an author doesn’t finish a series….aaaarrrggghhh

YES, YES, YES
TJBM always finishes last

TJBM Well, I’d think it would depend on what we were talking about ;)

TJBM is makin’ sammiches.

Not at the moment hold the mayo
TJBM made a snow angel today

Nope, we have a foot of slush, now, not conducive for lying in unless one has more of a masochitic streak than I do

TJBM is old enough to get frustrated by technology that is simple for all those under 25.

False.

<—25

@TheOnlyNeffie You are correct. Well, back when I rejoined the site, I had initially use the name _bob, and my avatar was the same, but facing to the other side. When they let me have my original name, I switched back.

TJBM likes (or used to like) Prince.

True. I like a lot of his work up to and including “Peach” in 1994, but I’ve only heard one of his tunes since then, and I don’t remember that much about it.

TJBM has some favorite dance tunes.

True. I like to play a little of this in the morning to dance to. It gets me psyched for the day, which I knows sounds a little odd.
TJBM thinks that ABBA is a great band, despite the fact that they’re disco, which as we all know is dead.

Hmm, I love Mamma Mia, so probably true. I think.
TJBM regularly reads givesmehope.com

Well, I will now! Thanks, Neff, I like that!

TJBM likes How I Met Your Mother.

False, heard of it, but never seen it.

TJBM thought snow was fun until they had to drive in it.
I did now I just want to get home

@TheOnlyNeffie It was about 10 years ago (Feb, 2001) that we saw a stage presentation of Mamma Mia. I loved the dancing and I knew that I was going to really like a lot of the music.

True. While I’m a good snow driver, that doesn’t mean I enjoy it.

TJBM will be grocery shopping this weekend.

False, I went yesterday and I went crazy. My fridge is packed to the limit.
TJBM keeps a journal.

False. Not any more. The one I used to keep was too embarrassing to reread.
TJBM gets less than 6 hours of sleep a night.

I usually get at least 7 hours a night.
However, I probably averaged less than 6 a night on work days before I retired.

TJBM would love to pet an Australian saltwater hairless dog if they had the opportunity. ;-)

TJAM is lovin’ that “dog”!
Nope. Not my kind of cuddle.

TJBM doesn’t get to see their cousins enough. Cousins are fun.

True – my cousins are in Azerbaijan and Israel and one is in PA (I never go there)
TJBM loves American Idol.

False. There are few shows I like.

TJBM likes Modern Family. TJ does.

False. I’ve never seen it.
TJBM loves 80’s music.

@chyna ^It’s on ABC in about 15 minutes. Wicked funny, highly recommended.

True. 70’s, 80’s…loved, loved, loved the sounds.
TJBM is watching the new season of American Idol and judging the judges.

True, sigh.
TJBM is a good dancer.

False. I have been compared to Elaine on Seinfeld.
TJBM had a mullet or liked someone that had a mullet.

This jelly has had a mullet! for about 9hrs just for shits and giggles..he he he.

TJBM Cooks fantastic omelets. with cheese..

TRUE!
TJBM can’t play the clarinet.

Perhaps not. I am, however, a master of the skin flute.
TJBM has had his gold teeth bronzed.

Ah yea yea For real yo

TJBM Is a mad pimp who kicks it round town wit all da homies

True: my courtesans and I have engaged in festivities with many local residents. :-p

TJBM has called a law-enforcement agency before.
If so, what was the occasion?

True. I call the cops about once a month. Suspected drunk/reckless driver, the occassion someone tried to steal my car, unusual people creeping through the neighborhood, you name it.

TJBM is or is friends with a police officer.

Does @john65pennington count?

VEpCTSBpcyBzbWFydCBlbm91Z2ggdG8gZmluZCBhIHRyYW5zbGF0b3IgZm9y
IEJhc2U2NCB0byBmaW5kIG91dCB3aGF0IHRoaXMgc2VudGVuY2Ugc2F5cy4g

^ The above is a grammatically correct sentence, and is one segment instead of two (I had to shorten it).

I can make no sense whatever of @Fred931‘s question, if that’s what it was. So I’m going with the question he answered and give my own question. Sorry Fred!

Other than john65pennington, I cannot think of a police officer that I know.

TJBM is full of pizza right now.

Nope. Thinkin’ of makin’ oat meal.

TJBM spends more time online than doing homework.

True. Is that homework as in housework? Anyway, I’m guilty;-)
TJBM has a pole barn. If so, tell us what’s in it.

False.

TJBM loves the feeling of being in someone’s arms.

True. I love feeling their heartbeat against me.
TJBM is in a loving relationship.

So true!
TJBM loves Friends.

True, the earlier seasons (up to and including when Monica and Chandler got engaged). After that, it went downhill.

TJBM is a fan of The West Wing.

False

TJBM likes to have a cup of tea when they relax.

Occasionally, true.
TJBM wants to take me out to breakfast. My stomach is grumbling.

True, but because of the commute it would have to be tomorrow morning.

TJBM has a coffe mug with butterflies on it.

False, a light blue cup with clouds on it though…...
TJBM can drive a tractor trailer.

In case @snowberry or anyone else is still wondering, I wrote, in Base64, TJBM is smart enough to find a translator for Base64 to find out what this sentence says.

True, if it has an automatic trannie, two axles, and I don’t have to park it. ;-p

TJBM gets the impression that Jill’s dog seems to have camouflaged himself to blend in with the rug that he’s on.
Perhaps he’s a member of the genus, canis chameleonis. ;-p

True dat! A clever dog, he! now if only I could get him to stop snoring!

TJBM lives where s/he can hear train whistles.

I’m only aware of an inanimate variety of whistles, corollarily meaning that they cannot be trained to do anything.

TJBM went is going to find a Base64 decoder to translate my code in the post immediately before @snowberry‘s , and is also not impressed with my lack of understanding of the last post. Holy hell, I know what it means now, but I swear I thought you said something about training “whistles,” like they were some kind of exotic bird. Dammit!

@Fred931 , Go have some coffee, Sweetie, I think you need it.

True. http://www.opinionatedgeek.com/dotnet/tools/base64decode/
TJBM watches anime.

False I don’t even know what “anime” is.

TJBM likes cinnamon.

You bet. I love it on sweet things of course, but I don’t eat sweets much anymore.

TJBM likes to find and learn the meanings of new words.

TRUE. I get 2 different Word of the day emails.
TJBM is making breakfast for all of us now

Oh, sure. Come on over. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, juice, we have it all. Sweet rolls will be out of the oven in a couple of minutes, so hurry!

TJBM has kept chickens, or has a neighbor who has.

Sort of true. I had a neighbor a few years ago in a suburban area who had a scrawny rooster and two hens. The rooster crowed at all hours and didn’t wake him up, but roused the rest of us. He got quite pissy at us when we tried to talk to him about it, and told us to man the hell up. We finally resorted to taking turns calling him when the rooster crowed (yes, we contacted the city first, zoning was squiffy so they couldn’t help us) and Mr Rooster was soon relocated to a farm. It wasn’t as pissy as it sounds, the houses were close together, and he just had them cuz he “wanted to”. The hens never laid, the chickens were just there, and not that well taken care of.

TJBM keeps bank statements forever even though it’s not necessary.

Just for fun. My neighbor’s chicken hanging out under the hood of my hubby’s car in the garage.

True-ish. My father made me paranoid about not keeping ENOUGH paperwork, and now I keep everything. The papers in this house are taking over. And driving me nuts.
TJBM is one of those rare people that openly admits to loving polka, like I do.

The last time I danced polka was in 3rd or 4th grade. It sounds fun, but hubby wouldn’t go if you paid him, and I wouldn’t go with someone else.

TJBM ran a stop sign in the last week. Did you get a ticket?

False. Since I was broadsided by a sign-runner I’m very cautious about intersections.

TJBM eats food at carnivals that they’d never eat any other time.

Hmm…probably. There’s this special carnival/festival thing near where I live in August every year, and all the food there has something to do with apples! It’s called the Apple Festival, and after that, I’m so fed up with apples, but everything is so yummy!

TJBM hasn’t had breakfast yet.

False. I had an apple, some almonds and some Cheerios.

TJBM has made croissants from scratch.

Once, long ago. They were really bad, never again.

TJBM has been to at least one high school reunion.

I graduated from high school in 2003, so I’m not sure I’d call our get-togethers reunions, but I do see them on a somewhat regular basis.

TJBM has material nonpublic information about the company he or she works for.

Of course :D
TJBM knows someone that has an extra digit on there feet

True, an ex roommate had 6 toes on both feet.

TJBM is out of work.

True, but I volunteer at a homeless shelter.

TJBM actually diagnosed an issue with their car before they took it to the shop to be looked at.
I did yay I was so happy when I walked in and said you need to check here. I had a cylinder misfire, due to a faulty spark plug

Lol, for whatever reason I read that ^ as a “fatty spark plug,” and thought to myself: “what the hell are you feeding it?”

True. I’ve lived with mechanics all my life.
TJBM is thinking this thread is about to dry up:-(

Nooooo!!! We can’t let it!!

TJBM shops online.

Yes, I hate physically going to the shops to make my purchases.

TJBM had a dirty dream last night. I had the filthiest about Kat Von D last night!

False, sadly. I wish I’d had a dirty dream last night but I dreamt about picking out bathroom floor tile.

TJBM has seen the Grateful Dead over 300 times.

False. Although I do like them.

TJBM needs a nap.

Oh, yeah, but I have to wait til the lentil soup is done cooking.

TJBM likes lentil soup.

False, for some reason I don’t like any soups except French Onion.

The jelly below me has acrylic or solar/gel nails.

Nope. I have natural long nails on every finger except one on my right hand which, for some reason is weaker than the rest of my nails and breaks when it gets to a certain length.

TJBM curls their hair.

False. My hair is too straight to curl. Think broomstick.

TJBM has a nice fire going right now. I do.

If I had a fire place, you better believe I would.

TJBM has at least three favourite television shows.

Modern Family, Lost when it was on, and Undercover Boss. First things that came to mind. True.

TJBM cannot identify this vehicle without help from the Internet. And I thought the url would be the tinyurl in the web browser, but it wasn’t, so no peeking!

False if it is a Toyota Tundra. True if it is a helux (I just had to look at the URL).
TJBM has written a novel.

False.

And it’s called a Toyota Hilux. Not sold in America. :)

TJBM is at least mildly irritated that I impatiently took the very next chance to add a TJBM.

Nope not even mildly.

TJBM will think of something good, quick and easy for me to fix for supper.

True. Stir fry?

TJBM listens to music in languages other than English.

@Fred931 I LURVE Modern Family!!!

Sí.

TJBM lost his or her virginity before the age of 18.

True, I was 17.

The jelly below me wants to come help me survive my daughter’s slumber party on Saturday! Please, somebody? OMG the girls are gonna hog tie me and stuff me in a closet, I just know it!

True. I’ll fly over there and bore them to sleep, being the human insomnia cure that I am.

TJBM knows of a story, TV episode, or movie that vilifies a wolf or wolves.

Little Red Hood?

@WillWorkForChocolate You’re gonna be tied? I’m so there.

TJBM has been to Africa.

False, although I was within 10 miles of Morocco when we passed through the Strait of Gibraltar.

TJBM has been south of the equator.

Nope. I’ve been to Canada though.

TJBM finds flowers to be unpractical, but likes getting them anyways.

I find flowers to be practical because I think their beauty and fragrance can have beneficial effects on the recipient, and I’d like to get some but I never have.

If TJBM writes a long post, they like to separate it into paragraphs and/or with spaces between the lines.

@bob_ I would so invite you, but I think that may be a bad influence around a group of 10 year olds, LOL. Any other time, and you’re more than welcome to tie me yourself!

True, I have a hard time reading long paragraphs, so I try to break my own up for the sake of others.

The jelly below me is sad that Coloma is gone.

Coloma is gone????
Yes sad, wtf is going on around here?

TJBM also didn’t know that Coloma was gone.

True.

TJBM knows why Coloma is gone.

False. I didn’t realize she was gone! I know somebody’s husband has them on a Fluther detox, though. Saw it on the FB fan page.

TJBM needs to get a job. TJ does.

Sure, why not? Makin’ money sounds all right. And I can’t play the part of poor college writer forever, now can I?
TJBM hangs out with a bunch of starving artists.

False. I do, but not on a regular basis.
TJBM is an activist.

Naw, that sounds too much like work.

TJBM went to a class tonight. I did, and just as I drove in, the radio announcer said the winter storm warning was officially in effect. So I looked around, and there was not a snowflake anywhere, and it was still warm out. Hmmm.

no class tonight…
TJBM will not drive in any snow tomorrow. I know I will in the winter storm uggg

True.

TJBM enjoys flying a kite.

False. I’ve never tried, I don’t think.
TJBM has a point in their life that marks their life in two.

Yes.

TJBM drives fast.

oh yes. a weakness for certain
TJBM is thinking about pickles

False.

TJBM knows someone who has engaged in bestiality.

Well I heard a rumor about someone who did…

TJBM will be happy to know that Coloma is only temporarily gone.

You are so true!!

TJBM spends time doing genealogy.

False.

TJBM thinks every American deserves to have health insurance.

Very True.
TJBM has at least one trophy on display in their home.

Yup! A sailing trophy I won when I was 15. I’m very proud of that

TJBM lives in a place where it’s snowing. Again. damn

True

TJBM paints their toenails.

Rarely but every so often I do. My finger nails are pretty much always painted though.

TJBM is babysitting for someone elses kids tonight.

False. Although it sounds like fun.

TJBM changes their Fluther avatar on a regular basis.

False.

TJBM has had pizza this week.

False.
TJBM is sick.

true however, only mentally ill :-)

TJBM likes a local business’s lattes much better than Starbucks

False, I don’t drink coffee.

TJBM is carrying more than $100 or its equivalent in cash.

No, I never carry that much cash with me ever. It makes me feel weird.
TJBM has an I heart NY shirt.

True.

TJBM actually loves NY.

True. I don’t have a shirt, though. I have a funny memory about acquiring one, though. Only funny to those involved, I’m sure.
TJBM has never been to NY.

False. Been there 3 times. Loved it.
TJBM Knows someone who is planning a big wedding this year. Is it you?

@augustlan thanks for the update on Coloma.

It’s not me but one of my school friends has got a wedding in August. Knowing her it will be very in-your-face and shameless!

TJBM has seen the Youtube video of the lady falling into the fountain.

TRUE! The one where she’s texting? Silly thing.

TJBM can bake really good muffins and is willing to share recipes with us all!! please?

True! Which recipe do you want?

TJBM has more than 15 pair of shoes.

—just an easy one with no fancy ingredients I can’t get here in Norway—

Yes, if you count sandals and boots.

TJBM can’t wait for spring (fall for the down-unders)

True.

TJBM is loyal to a ketchup brand.

Heinz FTW, bitches!

False. I hate all ketchup.

Where TJBM is, it’s below zero outside. It’s -8* here.

False. It’s 9F, though it is -11F with the wind chill.
TJBM has brown hair.

For the most part true, except for my birthmark.

TJBM is addicted to computer games.

False I have never played a computer game.

TJBM cries when they are happy.

True, but only when it comes to my love and children.
TJBM likes to eat pita chips.

True.

TJBM will probably never reveal their birth or legal name here.

True-ish. Not in the public threads, but I have in PMs.

TJBM enjoys a nice cup of tea every now again.

True – daily, I am tea obsessed.
TJBM is a restless sleeper.

True. I’m all over the place. I often wake up upside-down and all confused.
TJBM wants @Simone_De_Beauvoir to kiss their boobie, too.

@TheOnlyNeffie My sister used to wake up upside-down and on the floor! She’d usually scream when she woke up.

True, but don’t tell anyone.

The jelly below me is eating while they fluther.

False, though I kind of want to now. Too bad I have next to no food in my apartment right now D:

TJBM has a tendency to steal the blankets from their bedmate.

False. We each have our own blanket, it keeps us sane.
TJBM has a parrot.

Nope. I did have a parakeet for a while though.

There is a birth mark on TJBM or on a member of their family.

True. On my arm.

TJBM is having take-out food for dinner.

False, I’m making barbeque sausage, pasta salad and baked beans.

The jelly below me burns the grilled cheese sandwich in the skillet every time.

False. I can’t stand to burn anything, so I’m constantly standing next to whatever I’m cooking and impatiently take the food off of the burner/out of the oven before it’s “done.”

TJBM is impressed how long this discussion has become so far.

yawn
TJBM has a hot date tonight

True! Heh heh heh…

TJBM can fix their own computer, no Tech Support BS.

TRUE…
TJBM want full details on TJAM date

False. I’m not nosy.
TJBM (I accidentally typed TJAM, after coming from that thread. lol.) can do something neat with their hands.

True sign language

TJBM is going on vacation/ holiday this summer.

Hope to! Niece is getting married back in the States, so might have to brave the horrors of airport security in the US… not looking forward to it. Looking forward to family and the wedding, but NOT the travel part.

TJBM cracks their knuckles by habit when they’re bored.

False.

TJBM has made a nifty YouTube video. Or at least any YouTube video. Link plz if true.

Nope, sorry.

TJBM is eating Chinese tonight.

Perhaps true. I’m going to ask my wife if she wants to go to our favorite vegan Chinese place tonight.

TJBM has decorative or scenic overhead bars on their browser.
For example, mine is a lake and forest scene.

False. Mine is transparent and I can see the desktop in the backgound.

TJBM panics when they hear the sound of an unexpected car in their driveway.

@Taciturnu The restaurant doesn’t have grasshopper on the menu, or are you referring to something else? ;-)

@Brian1946 My apologies. I thought you were one of us Noreasters. :)

@Taciturnu No need to apologize; perhaps my avatar gave you the impression that I live in the Noreast. I love the Noreast, especially in autumn. :-). Also, now that I know that you live there, please feel free to ignore that question I sent you in my PM.

TRUE. Panic is an understatement.
TJBM believes in ghosts.

True-ish… Not necessarily “ghosts”, but I’ve had experiences in the past with some sort of spirit.

The jelly below me dislikes talking on the phone.

Well, I do and I don’t. It depends on how interesting the conversation is.

TJBM loves Judge Judy!

Not so much. There’s actually something about her that I find to be really weird. Maybe this medley of her greatest moments explains it partly. :)
TJBM thinks Enrique Iglesias is super good lookin’.

True, and so does our niece. I usually call her to let her know when he’s going to be on TV. :-)

TJBM has removed someone from their Fluther.

Not yet. Some of them have quit, and therefore removed themselves from mine.

TJBM eats pistachio nuts.

True, but rarely. I like them is what I mean.

TJBM hates the word “awesome.” :)

False. I like it better when you put “wicked” in front of it, though.

TJBM still has leftover Halloween candy. Just discovered mine in the back of the cabinet. I’m throwing it out.

I think we ran out before the night was over.

TJBM does not like to hunt.

True. I actually told my husband that he had to give up hunting if I was going to say yes to his marriage proposal.
TJBM is allergic to grass.

@TheOnlyNeffie “I actually told my husband that he had to give up hunting if I was going to say yes to his marriage proposal.” That’s wonderful! You deserve many “hugs” from your favorite forest creatures. If you wanted to, which animals would you want to hug?

I am not allergic to grass as far as I know…

TJBM likes ketchup on their eggs.

False – as a vegan, I don’t consume eggs. When I used to consume eggs, I would put ketchup sometimes on them.
TJBM has a bloated tummy.

@Brian1946 shouldn’t my husband be the one getting hugs? I did marry him, after all. He really did give it up, after 25 years of hunting.

Uh, sort of. But I got sick for a long time, my stomach shrunk in the process, and now that I’m well, I’ve lost about 11 lbs now.

At this rate I’ll be at my ideal weight by summer, maybe before.

TJBM likes watching old time movies

True. Give me a Betty Davis, Lana Turner or Edward G Robinson movie any day. I love the older black & white movies.
TJBM is wrapped up in their Snuggie/Snuggle while Flutering. TJ is;-)

Not a snuggie, but I am wrapped up in a blanket my mom knitted for me. :)

TJBM is about to get some ice cream. I am! :)

Nope. My health has no room for ice cream, as much as I like it.

TJBM hates crowds.

nope…love em..love people watching too
TJBM has worked way too many hours this past week.

False.

TJBM used an ancient colloquialism recently.

I wasn’t sure, so I had to look it up….. and I think TRUE: Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær. Which means, in Norwegian; There is no such thing as bad weather, just wearing the wrong clothes to deal with it. I think it’s a pretty old local colloquialism.

TJBM has a secret desire to do karaoke, but never gets up the nerve.

False. My desire to sing karaoke is nonexistent.
TJBM just woke up. Good morning!

False I haven’t gone to bed yet, and it’s almost 5:30 am.

TJBM is planning on going skiing or snowboarding this year.

False.
TJBM has many errands to run that will take up most of today.

Good morning! @TheOnlyNeffie.

Luckily I don’t. I try to minimize how much gets put on my plate.

TJBM has insulated clothing that can keep them warm in sub-zero cold.

False. My avatar pic is about as bundled as I get, which is probably not sufficient for the 0F temperature today, without wind chill.
TJBM counts the steps as they go up or downstairs.

I haven’t done that recently, but I did in the past to measure the height of one story in the AT&T building where I used to work. IIRC, each step was 9” high and the story I measured was about 22’ high.

With the information above, TJBM can calculate approximately how many steps were in the measured story.

No, sorry. Math and anything related to it are not my thing. Well, actually, I could probably figure it out if I worked up the effort to do it, but I’m not gonna. (passes the math baton to someone else now)
TJBM goes to the drive-in during the summer with someone special.

It’s too early and too late for me to do some math since I’m still awake, so I’ll pass that on too.
False. All the drive-ins that I knew of have all been closed down. I would really love to find one, because I’ve never been to one.

TJBM is going to ask @Brian1946 to give us the answer

Hey @Brian1946 Answer @TheOnlyNeffie‘s question, please.

TJBM has a tiny dog.

The answer is about 30 steps.

no purse dog here
TJBM loves kumquats

Um, I’ve eaten them before, but I would not go out of my way to eat them again.

TJBM has a concealed carry gun permit.

Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery!

False: I don’t need one because the gun on my tank isn’t concealed. ;-o

TJBM has seen someone do something crazy in a public place.
If so, what was it?

True, and it was me. I stripped down to my bra and panties at a police station in protest of being taken in for questioning in a domestic violence complaint where I was the victim but was being treated as the perpetrator because the man involved was a policeman.

TJBM doesn’t like herbal tea.

@cazzie Ah, if someone handed me an herbal tea I’d drink it. But I prefer Natty Lite!

TJBM loves to drive.

@cazzie Now…why’d you do that? And what was the result?

True

My husband usurped driving claiming motion sickness if he was a passenger. He let it slip 5 years ago that he didn’t get car sick anymore while he was talking to my BIL. BUSTED! Besides I’m a much better drive than he is.

TJBM prefers cats over dogs.

True. I have two kittehs, and no doggies.

TJBM is @cazzie

hahaha….. True!

and I was trying to answer @Dutchess_III question… I was feeling powerless and by making a ‘to do’ of my presence there seemed the only recourse. (they were so embarrassed and couldn’t find a female constable to come and talk to me… they lost, I won. They drove me home with no further adieu.

TJBM loves lime jello. (esp. with pineapple.)

False. I don’t love any jello.
TJBM has a wedding anniversary coming up.

True. Next month it will be 2 years since we ‘officially’ got married (in city hall). We had our personal ceremony the year before that.
TJBM can lead a workshop on their own.

True, although I haven’t done it in years.

TJBM has more than 30 pairs of shoes.

False.
What do you need 30 pairs for?

TJBM is a Star Trek fanatic.
my fiancée is, and is having a Star Trek marathon

False.

TJBM made something interesting out of wood.

False. Back in school each member of my tech class had to design something using only wood, but it could be anything we wanted. My friend made a guitar. I made a box. Carpentry’s not my strong suit.

TJBM is really not a morning person.

False. I get up between 5am and 6am and love the sound of the neighbourhood waking up (especially the birds).

TJBM has a sarcastic sense of humour.

Not really. Sarcasm can be very funny, but most of the time I think it just comes off sounding mean. Which isn’t really funny to me.
TJBM ignored a phone call today.

True. Someone else can go pick it up… Hey, nobody’s picking it up…

TJBM made something out of wood that is more interesting than a box.

Nope. My father is the cabinet maker not me. He makes beautiful furniture.

TJBM has long hair.

True, very long. I need it cut ASAP, actually.
TJBM uses a separate towel to dry their face when they get out of the shower.

False. But I do when I’m doing my Proactiv routines.
TJBM likes to spin around in circles.

Unbelievably true. CIRCLES!!

TJBM has made anything out of wood. Come on, people!

Ok, I made a house out of Popsicle sticks. That counts, right?

TJBM prefers red wines over white wines.

False. I’m currently in love with this white wine.

TJBM likes beer with their pizza.

False, I hate beer
TJBM prefers soy milk to milk.

I can drink both, but I don’t prefer one over the other.

TJBM is a fan of Antiques Roadshow. We are.

True. But since we upgraded to digital cable I’ve been missing it. I have also been trying to get tickets to the show.

TJBM owns a clock with a pendulum.

False. It broke last year.

TJBM has been elected to some position.

True. I was elected for student senate by one vote (no one votes in my school, and I didn’t even run; my friend wrote me in as a joke) but turned it down because I had waaaayyy too much other stuff to do. Too bad, would’ve looked good on my resume.

TJBM has an unusual allergy.

I think I probably do, but it hasn’t been figured out yet. I have strange breathing problems, and my mom thinks it might be an allergy.

TJBM has an annoying guy talking to them.

False. I’m the annoying guy talking to you. In Soviet Russia…

TJBM has made anything out of wood besides with the use of Popsicle sticks. (Though I do think this is fair, it still wasn’t very satisfying.)

True. I still have my wooden ducks I made in wood shop in the 7th grade. And don’t even ask me how many years ago that was:D

TJBM owns some Indian artifacts.

True. They are lovely.

@Fred931 sorry for not being satisfying :-P

TJBM loves the colour pink.

@AmWiser Hellz yeah!

If used properly, e.g. as part of a soft color scheme, then True.

TJBM “thnks pnik is ghey n must die.”

False. I like it well enough. I missed all the woodworking Qs, damn it! I really have made some cool stuff out of wood!

TJBM is in some kind of pain at the moment. Ouch.

True… Damn car accident. You’re hurtin’ too, Augustlan?

TJBM swears they know a secret to passing a breathalyzer while under the influence.

Always, sadly. Hope you feel better soon!

No, thank God.

TJBM is old enough to remember watching cartoons on a black and white TV.

On a round screen . . . . . Yes.

TJBM had a latte this morning.

I was hoping to hear that ^^ answer, @snowberry!

False. I had some last morning, actually.

TJBM has made something intersting out of… drumroll… METAL! Bet’cha’ didn’t see that coming!

LOL, it would be me again for this type of question!

I’m going to answer true. My parents are/were smokers. When I was a child, and bored out of my mind, I would take the metal wrappers from inside their packages of cigarettes and very carefully pull the paper away from the tin foil. Once that was done I started and then added to a perfectly circular ball. Eventually that ball got pretty big.

TJBM wears fuzzy slippers.

False, but I sure as hell would wear them if I ever take the time to notice them at Bed Bath & Beyond next time I go.

TJBM believes NASCAR is not a sport.

True, true, true. I’ve never understood the draw of NASCAR but for those that do: what ever floats your boat.

TJBM plays guitar.

true
TJBM plays mutliple instruments

True, but not guitar.
TJBM was/is in the drama club.

If the drama club is my life then, sometimes true, if it is a drama club via community theatre then false.

TJBM likes to go to crowded places and people watch.

false/true – I don’t really like crowded places but if I find myself in one, I definitely people-watch.

TJBM tries to find local diners when travelling instead of eating in chain restaurants

Oh, so true. I hate McD’s and most other chain restaurants.

TJBM has the hiccups.

No thank goodness.

TJBM wears rings on both their hands.

False. I only wear my wedding set, otherwise I don’t wear rings. I have quite a collection, though. I used to really enjoy wearing them, but they bust through latex gloves too easily.
TJBM remembers their first kiss, fondly.

I don’t remember my first kiss that much.
It was tentative and apparently quite forgettable.

TJBM has or knows someone that has built a snow woman.

Yep, me. I built a whole snow family once.

TJBM sings in the car.

Nope. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. I do tell jokes in the car. Sometimes to other people, other times when I’m alone, to myself.

TJBM has friends from the Middle East. I do.

True. He came to my school for a 2nd semester from Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan, one of the two. His parents are missionaries. He was one of the few nice kids I met at that particular school I was attending.

TJBM lol’ed at this.

No, not really. For some reason it puzzled me the first time I watched it, so I had to watch it again. Maybe my sense of humor is broken today.
TJBM’s sense of humor is still fully functioning.

Yes, I think so, well functioning at at least 80% most days. It’s sometimes the only thing that keeps me from throwing in the towel.

TJBM Would love to have a cute little Smart Car like this one or one of these.

No. I need a car that can fit a full sized scooter and, sadly, those won’t do.

TJBM loves popcorn.

False. I actually despise popcorn, lest it be kettle corn. I hate the shells in my teeth.

TJBM rooted for Milan in the Milan vs. Cessena game today.

Sure. Who likes Cessena, anyway?

TJBM would like to hear the voice of someone they love. Right NOW!

This would be a perfect time to hear from someone I love. So that is true.
TJBM is happy for the Stealers.

No, don’t think I am.
I don’t like football.
TJBM is the only one of their friends who doesn’t have a child or expecting.
life is getting boring!!! I don’t have my drinking buddy anymore :(

False. I have three children and so do all my friends.

TJBM has never had a cavity.

False. I actually have to have all the metal stuff taken out again and the white stuff put back in.

TJBM is likes Terry Gilliam films.

True. Time Bandits is a masterpiece.

TJBM enjoys participating in contact sports.

Hahahaha. No. I’m not even allowed, but even if I was, that would still be a no.

TJBM has a completely different career than the one they planned for.

Unfortunately this is true. I enjoy my job on a day to day basis but it’s not where I want to be for the res of my life.

TJBM is getting a new car soon (new to them, not necessarily brand new).

No, I already got a new-ish one over the summer. I named it Salazar. :)
TJBM also names things that they own, like the car, computer, etc.

No..I don’t. (Well, maybe, “Stupid Damn Thing” every so often.) I just name my animals. And every so often I’ll bestow a new name upon my husband’s head like a curse of the Bejahamboo sauce…you know.

TJBM doesn’t put much thought into naming his or her pets.

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a new pet to name. We have an adopted dog that already had a lovely name, and we inherited other pets that already had names. We did not change them.

TJBM adores children.

Depends on the kid. ha. I love most kids, but some kids make me want to tear my hair out, I can’t lie.
TJBM doesn’t have any children.

I don’t have any kids?? WTH!!! Where did all my time and money and love and heartbreak and the best part of my life go?!.... Oh yeah. I remember now…..False. I have three.

TJBM eats strange foods, like scrambled egg and and pickle sandwiches.

lol^

Sure. I’ll try most anything (emphasis on most). I am not Andrew Zimmerman. http://www.sodahead.com/living/which-is-the-creepiest-food-in-the-world/question-116327/?link=ibaf&imgurl=http://www.thatsweird.net/Pictures/bangkok_insect_food.jpg&q=andrew%2Bzimmerman

TJBM likes their coffee black, no sugar.

True. When I was young I really thought that I didn’t care to drink coffee, so I just kept adding more sugar. The first time that I ran out of sugar and drank it black.. I realised that I actually liked it. Funny how that worked out. I like the occasional flavored creamer now, but, I still prefer a strong, black coffee over anything else.
TJBM quit a bad habit recently.

Scrambled egg and pickle sandwich sounds awesome, btw.

I quit biting my fingernails! I’ve bitten them all of my life, but I’ve grown them out now. And they get on my very last nerves. Grrrr!

TJBM likes to laugh. :)

True, true, true.

TJBM is glad it’s tax time. They’re expecting a refund;-).

Nope. I won’t be getting a refund.

TJBM doesn’t or actually knows someone that doesn’t drink coffee.

True – it’s me.
TJBM stood up to a boss at one point.

TRUE. He threatened to fire me if I left to see the doctor, even though it was desperately important that I make the appointment. I told him to shove it and left anyway. He didn’t fire me because he knew I’d sue his ass!!

The jelly below me is jealous that I got to talk to Coloma on the phone this morning!

Jealous, no. Happy for you and @Coloma, absolutely! She sounds like a delightful person.

TJBM used to eat dog food. I used to. I’d sneak it from the dog dish when my mom wasn’t looking.

No, no, no. It was paper.

TJBM is dying their hair today.

False. I let a professional do that these days.

TJBM will tell us who their favorite super hero is.

Um. Super Hero. Right. My favorite super hero is Cloe the Wonder Dog, chewer of chew toys, chaser of balls, cats, and squirrels.

TJBM just got home from work.

YES…you are stalking again…
TJBM knows what zip code means and will tell us

No problem.
A code which was established by the United States Postal Service, for the purposes of identifying a location and routing the mail to that location. A zip code was originally 5 digits long, and now has been expanded to 9 digits for more detailed identification. The 5 digit zip code is still sufficient for sending all items of mail; the 9 digit zip code is used primarily by businesses as they sometimes get a discount for doing so. Zip code stands for ‘Zoning Improvement Plan’ code.
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/zip-code.html

TJBM likes to eat frosting all by itself.

False.

TJBM is going to make something interesting… out of… umm… this sentence.

False.

TJBM knows someone that is older than 64.

Yes.

TJBM is a fitness fanatic.

No, not really. I don’t even remember the last time I worked out, but I’m hoping on joining a dance class soon and doing that in place of doing bench presses or whatever.
TJBM is a fan of lifting weights and would rather do that than take a dance class.

Not me, but one of my daughters loves it, weights, aerobics, agility, calisthenics, you name it, she’s all over it. She’s getting the others into it too. Go girls!

True. ;-)

TJBM knows how to avoid getting arrested for indulging in their favorite activity.

True. Make sure no one’s around or wait until you get home.

TJBM knows what tahini is without peeking.

I think I do. My guess is that it’s a sauce or dressing made from sesame seeds.
Okay, I peeked and I read that it’s a paste.

TJBM will try to type their reply to this with their elbows.

truee lol tybhgiks iis vfun! dunnol how i juust pulled ofvf 1 plus shiffvt. haha

(Translation: True! Lol, this is fun! I don’t know how I just executed 1+Shift. Haha!)

TJBM is iokmpresed wkith my elbollw typing skills@

(TJBM is impressed with my elbow typing skills!)

I truly am, you must have very pointy elbows.
TJBM can stand on their head.

Perhaps, but I’d probably want to bulk up my neck muscles before I tried to.

TJBM will type their reply as fast as they can and not correct any typos.

True I’m a decent typist.

TJBM has tried a very strange flavor of icecream

Edit: It was VERY HARD to resist the urge of adding a comma after “true,” a space between “ice” and “cream” and adding a period at the end. I also had to resist the urge to correct drop the whole “I’m a decent typist.” after realizing my errors.

True – Dill Pickle flavored ice cream. It was peculiar and not in a good way.

TJBM has somebody in their life who has conflicting multiple personalities

Oh….Oh…So true…. Mlurg….I want to like one and hate the other…

TJBM wishes they could erase some stuff from this time of last year.

Not necessarily this time last year. But definitely some stuff from last year.

TJBM had a learning experience last night.

True, I generally do.
TJBM wants a new thread!

True. But it’s limited to once a week. Wednesday is the chosen day.:\

TJBM has a closet full of bluejeans.

I used to, but at this point I do not. I can’t find any that are comfortable in my size.

TJBM has trouble with insomnia

Not now THANK GOD! I suffered from massive insomnia for years. I couldn’t sleep for 4 days one time and I think I went a tad crazy

TJBM could fix their own computer if it were to shut down mysteriously.

Depending on what is the matter, yes.

TJBM is a Nintendo fan.

:) Totally. I’ve got virtual NES and SNES on my computer and I love it.

TJBM knows another language.

True! I know several. :)

TJBM loves this: http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldjjmoSoFe1qeawlho1_500.gif

OMG NO. I think I’m having a seizure. ~

TJBM has been to an exotic vacation spot.

@Rytt I thought it was funny.

Nassau, so far, is the only island in the Caribbean I’ve been to.

TJBM loves this.

Pretty weird. Love it? Hmmmm.

TJBM has taken in a stray. (animal or child)

@Fred931 Glad someone did :D

I wish, but both my kitties came from a family.

TJBM reads…a lot…

True. I love reading.

TJBM is double jointed.

Nope. I have an uncle who is, though, and it’s kinda icky.
TJBM has been whale watching.

We went on a whale watch once but I don’t remember seeing any.

TJBM has always had only one account at Fluther.

True

TJBM has seen How To Train Your Dragon.

True, it’s a great movie!

The jelly below me wishes they could have a mini pet dragon.

False. They breath fire and would set my home ablaze.

TJBM got some good news today.

Not really. I’m going to get a cavity filled (good I guess in a way), and daughter needs a root canal (through the gum to protect the brand new caps on her front teeth

TJBM hates popcorn.

False. I love popcorn especially with movie theater butter (totally worth the $13 price tag)

TJBM will watch a marathon of movie nominees before the Oscars