Was chatting with a friend last night (talking about her relationship), and the topic of jealously came up. When have you experienced extreme jealously?

Not really. A lotta times it’s a kneejerk reaction I’ve tried to pretty much rid myself of along with anger, selfishness & greed.

I may have experienced some jealously years ago when I was younger, but I don’t even remember the situation. After realizing jealously doesn’t serve me any purpose, I’m happy to say, I don’t have a jealous bone in my body!

I think I did when my first husband was cheating. At least I behaved obsessively for a while.

Jude, I’m reusing one of my responses from another thread.

“I’m going to break a rule here. I’m going to compare an old girl friend to my wife. I dated a girl, an attractive girl, and often when we were out on the town guys would start to flirt with her. We would give each other a knowing look and laugh or I would bring it to her attention that she had a fan, she would follow through with the flirtation and than we would both laugh about it. Now, my wife (also a very attractive girl and the one I’d pick between the two) handles it differently. I tried this with her a couple of times when it appeared she was flirting or I knew some guy was flirting with her. She would react harshly and defensively that she was not flirting. I learned fast not to do that again. But there is a theme here and this is what it is. Whether it is inclusive or exclusive or you’re SO. Intimacy or alienation. I don’t resent flirtatious situation with my wife as I know she will be faithful to me and would not let anything go too far. I resent the latter because of the denial and exclusion. It’s not about the flirting.

So I can get caught in jealousy when I feel like I’m on the outside.

I’ve experienced extreme jealousy when a former boyfriend’s (female) friend was blatantly coming onto him (while she was enjoying my hospitality for an extended time) and he did nothing to discourage her. I got so worked up about it that I demanded he cut her out of his social circle, which he did. I’d handle the situation differently now. In fact, had I given it some serious, rational thought back then, I would’ve worked out that the situation arose out of some deep-seated issues with my relationship with my boyfriend. As it was, I addressed the symptom and not the disease, which led to the eventual dissolution of the relationship.

I hardly ever experience jealousy now. I’m older, more secure and don’t have nearly as many trust issues. Also, I don’t feel like anyone is actively sabotaging my current relationship.

In the past, yes, and man! there’s no relationship-killer more potent.

Not since I was a teenager, but it was so destructive I gave it up.

Not really, although I pretended to be jealous in one relationship to give her a dose of her own medicine, but I think she liked it. A person is just that: one person.

I tend not to get jealous when a girl I’m seeing/dating/whatever talks to or hangs out with or has male friends.

Unfortunately it cost me my last g/f when she left me for him.

But in the overall its probably a good policy to have.

When I was 18 and jealous for no reason and it ruined my relationship. I’m embarrassed to even think about it. It was soo stupid. No more.

I used to be very jealous in my previous marriage. I suppose it was because I was cheating, once in a while.

Yes, I’ve been jealous in the past and it’s so destructive in any relationship. Now, if I feel myself getting jealous in any way, I know it’s about me and I address the problem.

I have never been jealous of my current boyfriend as far as sex goes. He treats anyone he doesn’t know with friendly, if cool, detachment and any female friends he has he treats like one of the guys. I have noticed that a few girls he hangs out with do seem to pay him more attention than they do other guys but I’m mostly amused about that because he is utterly oblivious to their advances, or he gets a little freaked out and doesn’t know how to handle it.

My last “relationship” I hesitate to call it that, “hot sexual mess” is a more accurate description was rife with jealousy. I had two very hot friends who shot him down so he settled on me which I didn’t see until after the whole thing was done. He would constantly hit on these two girls or any girls who were around, he was a big ole whore when I was around. I never confronted him about it, but I did shed more than a few tears about it.

I’ve never been jealous. Never felt threatened that way either.

I have experienced great jealousy out of left field when I originally didn’t think I had any reason and I didn’t like it, was really embarassed for feeling it but worse than that, it messed with me. My reasoning was it’s okay to be jealous over something you can’t control that bests you, in a way but jealousy feels gawd awful when you deem the object of your jealousy to be less than, inferior, lacking somehow. It sucked so bad but was good for me to work through and have a feel for.