Would you respond to this email?

It’s none of their business. I wouldn’t feel the need to clear my name with someone who doesn’t keep up with my day-to-day.

You can delete his post as well, I think.

If you feel the need to respond, just say something like, “It’s too bad you had to see that. Bob hasn’t been handling our break-up well. Congrats on getting 2nd place in the Great Pumpkin contest! Your son’s so big now!”, etc.

Don’t stoop to his level. You are better than that. This is a tough time when you find out who your friends really are. You are right that they only know half the story and any person knows that and will see through his bashing. It is hard to to retaliate, but don’t do it. Its not good for you or what people do know about you.
Sadly after a breakup, some of the contacts that you had will not be there and kind of die on the vine.
Focus on you. Focus on your future. Focus on the positive..

Breakups especially divorces are rarely anything but ugly and everyone pretty much know this. Plus the details of it are no one else’s business but you and your ex. IMO keep it all to yourself and keep the ex in the past where they belong.

When I was going through a divorce, a good friend of mine that had moved to another state, whom I had lost contact with, sent me a card saying she had heard and was there anything she could do to help. I didn’t respond and about a week later she called and said she wanted to help in anyway she could. She wanted to know the story and I gave her an abridged version. The next weekend she was at my house. She kept calling me, showing up, and made me get out of the house and start living again. I am now a part of her family and her husband treats me like a sister. I have gone on vacations with them. She truly wanted to help me and was my life line out of despair. So to wind up this long story, maybe the friend isn’t just nosy, perhaps they want to help.

“Sorry to see some people aren’t handling things well” on your own wall, then unfriend him, and honestly, block him.

Your friend won’t care or believe it if he/she’s actually your friend.

For the record he is not a friend of mine on Facebook, his wall is public and acquaintances alert me to his more awful rantings.

If this person was a friend to you then they would have kept up with you before these new developments. If you feel the need to respond at all, just say “Hi, n ice to hear from you after so long” or something along that line. Personally, I wouldn’t feel like I was obliged to resond at all. As for the ex and the ugly posts, don’t lower yourself to his level, it wont change anything and, more importantly, you will eventually regret mean words and childish behavior. Also, tell your friends that you don’t want to hear the crap that he is posting, you’ll like that better! Good Luck! :~)

Surely he embarrasses himself more than you with his rantings. Unless they are more well reasoned and you just call them rants. But you should trust that the people who matter will see through his bullshit. If they don’t, then they really aren’t your friend.

I once asked a question about who got the friends in a divorce. It seems like you are seeing that shake out, now.

I would print off the hateful status updates done by your ex.

I would write her back like everything is normal. Don’t mention your ex or any info. If she asks how it is going between you and your ex, maybe say you are still trying to work out some differences you have. Be very abstract. If the conversation can pick up, like you never lost touch, and just best girlfriends, maybe it is nice to be back in touch. If she just wants to talk about your relationship with your ex and facebook, not nice.

I would not air my dirty laundry over the internet, especially Facebook. you never know who is reading what on that site.

If I thought she was just mining for gossip,I doubt that I would.
Your true friends will be there for you no matter what. :)

It sounds like you might be glad to hear from this friend.

If so, you should decide what to share with her.

I’m sorry that you are going through this.

@john65pennington great point. the degrees of separation are getting closer and the last thing you want is to have a coworker or manager see a retort.

I think it depends on whether or not you want to rekindle this friendship. If you would like to, then it’s up to you how much you want to get into it right now. You could always reply as though nothing has happened, and decide later whether you want to talk to her about your relationship.

If you don’t really want to revive your friendship with her, I wouldn’t reply at all.

It’s really too bad that you’re going through this. Just try your best to ignore him, and know that you’re the bigger person.

My suggestion… keep your feelings about this to yourself; I see no value to broadcasting them to the world.

It could be that your friend is concerned about you and is getting back in touch just to be there for you. I have friends that I care very much about but live far away from. We don’t talk as often as we should, but if I saw something that worried me I’d make it a point to see if my friend needed someone to talk to, or even just a distraction from the drama.

Think of what you know about this friend. What’s more likely, that she’s reaching out because she cares, or because she’s nosy? Respond with whatever makes you comfortable based on your past relationship. I’d probably reply but not get into personal details. Maybe give her a chance to be your friend, and if she is too pushy for information you can drop back out of her life.

what @marinelife said, and I would add that the ex sounds like an idiot (even if he were wronged in the divorce he’s not 10–16 years old-therefore should give up past indiscretions-bygones be bygones-etc.).

Wow, your ex sounds special!! Sorry you have to go through all this..I agrees with most of the people who have answered..don’t stoop to his level, he’s an idiot and you are not, so be yourself and don’t worry about what he says…if I had to read stuff like that constantly on someone’s wall,I would unfriend them and think they were immature! (You cna always report him to FB, but I’m not sure what they can do about it, but it’s worth a try!)
Think back over your friendship with this woman. Is the friendship worth salvaging? If it is, then start talking to her casually, and kind of assess whether or not she’s just digging for info..
Good luck to you!

Unless you want to reinvigorate the friendship with her, I’d do exactly what @aprilsimnel said.

@SuperMouse How did you feel when you saw that you had received a message from her (before you read it)? Were you relieved? Curious? Defensive? Suspicious?

I would dig a little deeper into my intuition. I think you knee-jerk reaction is to spill the details… but you know that would not be the right thing. Whether or not you reply at all would depend on your intuition.

Use your Power of Ignore on this one. It will pass in time.

I have been divorced and, personally, would probably be inclined to tell “the truth” to a person who had been an alleged friend! I just cannot stand being misquoted, misrepresented, etc. That said, if you CAN ignore it, move on, rise above it, be positive…you are on your way. Best wishes!

PS. I would not put it on Facebook, etc. however but to that friend’s personal email and always be aware…who knows who may read it as another person indicated above.