Would you call someone who went through the things listed "broken"?

Nope, I know people with similar experiences and their not broken.

Not at all. Broken implies that they can’t be fixed. I think that people are more resilient than we tend to give them credit for.

Feeling broken, in my opinion, is mostly a choice. It’s usually not some kind of a fact or a category that you put someone into. I know people who have been through much worse, and don’t classify themselves as broken. And just because something within us can’t be fixed, (which can be pretty subjective anyway), doesn’t mean it necessarily needed to be fixed in the first place or that the person couldn’t have fixed it with effort and time rather than accepting they are “broken”.

Sounds like someone I know.

No. I would describe that as someone who has been dealt a shitty deal. But, there is hope and help for that person.

Not broken, but traumatized and vulnerable.

I agree with all the above. They have suffered some awful things for sure, but whether they allow those things to determine how the rest of their life proceeds is up to them. They may need support to help them move beyond some of these things of course.

Tough way to go to be sure.
Not broken though.
Unless they develop the habit of making self pitying excuses (which is a real risk these days).
All they need is one good influence.
Join the army.

All that person is experiencing is a push and that person needs to push back to get back on their feet. The perpetrators always make things sound a lot worse than what things really are. It is rare for people to not experience any kind of verbal, physical or emotional abuse through life.

The right word for the person described is “stronger.”

If they called themselves broken, I’d acknowledge it and remind them that sometimes one must break in order to re-grow. I don’t consider applying the term broken to myself and others as a negative thing. We’re all a little broken.

Not necessarily, but if I went thru that, I would be shattered.

Not necessarily. People react differently to different situations. For a lot of people, it would take a lot less than what you described to break them. On the other hand, a lot of people have lived through a lot worse and are fine.

A person is not labeled by what happens to them, but how they respond to it. It they become unable to cope, that would be an outcome that requires professional help, but as stated above, they can become stronger as a result of the challenges they have faced.

If they’ve managed to stay away from drug addiction + stripping/sex peddling, then they probably aren’t broken yet + there is hope. Most of the time you can tell if someone has passed the point of no return + it makes one feel very sad, disheartened + vulnerable.

I was going to add another response but @YARNLADY just said it. It’s not about what happens to you but what you do about it. @YARNLADY BRAVO!

@963chris Yeah, ‘cause sex workers are hopeless, right.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: i wouldnt say that. just in my experience ive seen a lotta broken strippers unfortunately outta the broken people ive met. :( the rest had a myriad of mental problems – namely psychosis + schizophrenia.

@963chris none of those are hopeless.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: oh yeah…i forgot you were there (along with jean-paul sartre). ;p

@963chris Yep, and I’ll always be there. Enjoy.

@963chris
@Simone De Beauvior

I believe there is always a way back. no matter what you did there is always some way you can positively impact your surroundings. It may not be everything you wanted but there is a sure good chance it would be better than a lot of people who surround you who try to throw their shit onto the world.

I get @963chris is trying to give a relistic perspective of things but being realistic defeats the point of living. Hope and faith is what we need to have and it is how our society seeks and lives towards a future.

Although, I don’t want to make this man a prime example of what I am saying, I think you should look up General Butt Naked. This man could very well be fooling society to stay clear of war crime charges etc but he claims he made a trun around for redemption and if he is not fooling himself and be truely doing this then if he can then anyone can change their life and themself around.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: i as well ;O
@mindful: glad you can understand somewhat. i spent years trying to assist people, bail em out + givem my heart + resources. this was the real world + not ideology. i take offense to blankets statements + assumed subjectivity (or transparent alterity). in some cases, there is no hope. it’s a cold hard fact that i take no pride in discerning.

@mindful I don’t agree that sex workers or strippers need a ‘way back’ – I do believe they should have more rights of theirs recognized than they do now and more people should give a hoot but I don’t think they need ‘come back’, come back to what, exactly? A mindless 9–5? A consumerist bs culture?

nah! sex workers can be great – for all sorts of reasons, be it lawn furniture or straight-up procreation. i’m just saying. teeheehee. but isnt this topic about broken-ness? sorry if i diverged the conversation cause i hit a nerve. woot woot!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

With the exclusion of strippers, All other types of sex workers (pornstars, hookers) usually do it as a last opportunity to make ends meet. Also, a good portion of sex workers are sex workers not by choice (human traficking etc)”. Committing sex acts for money is huge blow to ones self-esteem and find it degrading. Such people often find it hard to go back to what they consider a “normal life”. I am sure most of them would prefer a 9–5 mindless consumerist society rather than selling themself out for money. But your arguments about their rights and recognition of them is something I definetley agree with. And we shouldnt hijack this thread anymore.

EDIT- I see some flaws in my statements but @Simone De Beauvior addresses them in her response.

@mindful I know a lot about sex work. I know a lot of people are coerced into sex work – that doesn’t make them broken. It is not always a blow to one’s self-esteem, especially if it’s a chosen profession and what’s degrading is completely subjective and therefore irrelevant. And agreed on not hijacking the thread.

No.

i’m surprised no one else has ever been face-to-face with someone who’s been broken. it’s akin to arriving on the scene of an accident where someone has been disemboweled or ripped in half after being tossed on the train tracks or something like that where the mind comes face-to-face with how helpless one can be in a situation regardless of all the training, money or even faith we may have. this can especially be seen with the mentally ill – where one is gone, vacant, has vanished + there’s nothing you can do about it! not that they are broken, but it’s not uncommon to have these similar feelings in tragic scenarios with children + animals who can’t defend themselves.

@963chris seems to have some issues about sex workers/ strippers. Weird. (No, I don’t have anything more useful to say and I really don’t care if this answer is moderated out.) I know some people who work so-called respectable jobs (spit) who are way more “broken” than @963chris believes sex workers and strippers to be. Goddamn, if I ascribed brokenness on that kind of level some of the people getting “I’m so sorry you’re broken” gift baskets from me would include civil servants, accountants, nurses, teachers, help desk workers and personal assistants. Which is clearly bollocks.

To answer the actual question, no, I don’t think those things make anyone broken. Broken is a state of mind, and what breaks people varies from person to person. Far be it from me to call anyone broken because of what I see about them. As stated above, if I had to apply that label arbitrarily based simply on my observations, a lot of people would wind up on my “broken” list.

A person is not something like a toaster which has two ways of being – broken or not broken. A person is more than a binary system (yes, I’m aware of the logical problems with that and I don’t care – take it up via PM if you really must) that works or doesn’t work. What I’m saying, ultimately, is that a human being is capable of assimilating experiences and choosing what to do about those experiences. I could choose to be gutted that certain members of my family disapprove so much of my lifestyle that they have cut off contact with me and discouraged people around them from making contact with me. I could also choose to think about it for a while and conclude that my satisfaction with my own life does not begin and end with what those family members think.

How “broken” someone is by their circumstances depends on how they deal with it internally and what kind of help they have externally. It’s never 100% one thing or the other but rather a combination of the two. And, as @wundayatta said, we’re all broken to some degree – it’s a consequence of having a life.

Damaged, perhaps; but not necessarily “broken.” We are more resilient than we realize.

I think what a person has been through is not at all what determines whether that person is “broken,” it’s how they react to it.

@Rhodentette: i just cited FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE the case of strippers + sex-workers. it was not a fully exhaustive list. i also included people that suffer from PSYCHOSIS + SCHIZOPHRENIA. forgive me for having had the experiences i had – jeesh! if youd take the time to read the statement in context along with my other posting throughout perhaps youd get a better idea of where im at. BROKEN is not a negative, judgmental, patriarchal term! at least not for me; rather it relates to a very sad state of affairs to which i have bore witness! & yes, i have seen other broken sad lives who are not SEX-ORIENTED vocations or avocations such as business people, drug dealers, mental health care workers, teachers, professors, writers, druggies, pharmacists, arms dealers, etc…etc. sorry that i happened to pull out what was prominent in my own experience rather than cite a countless list in the vein of perhaps bret easton ellis. nuff said all you angry miscreants. thanks for being so understanding + non-judgmental. pax vobiscum. teeheehee + cheers!

I agree with battered and needing some help.

I would call them “broken” only if they have been unable to find their courage, and thus consider themselves “broken.”

This person is in need of a support network and extensive counseling.

It certainly doesn’t appear that many folks have spent time with the mentally alienated + disenfranchised. I’ll let Radiohead aptly capture a bit of my sentiment + leave it at that:

“She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns”

Absolutely not, at least not necessarily. I went through many similar things, and I don’t consider myself broken in any way. Was I scarred by my experiences? Yes. But not broken.

Broken? No. Bruised? Yes. But, often the bruised fruit is the sweetest.

@worriedguy

The soul that’s been through hell knows how to make heaven on earth. : )

@CaptainHarley Yep. That says it.

The sweetest melons, bananas, pears, and peaches are the bruised ones.

@CaptainHarley Extremely true! Beautiful answer!

@worriedguy @mindful

Thank you! Once in awhile I do it right. : ))

@963chris I really wish I could’ve got all the way through your response to me, but it was so utterly unreadable that I couldn’t.