Do you think there's truth to the idea that women are first to desire marriage and the first to desire divorce?

i think it all depends on the person and the situation they are in, but then again i could be wrong.

I think alot of women have unrealistic ideals about marraige.

Many imagine a fairy tale life as soon as you’re married, or that whatever is broken in the relationship will magically be fixed.

Therefor as soon as they realize that none of that was really true, they want out.

In my experience, males are always pretty passive when it comes relationships. Its the women that are always strategizing.

Disclaimer: This does define all women, I’m merely pointing out the general norm.

I agree with spargett… Stupid Disney and their happy fairy tale endings!! I just think women can expect to much and men just don’t take things as seriously.. There should be a middle ground.

I don’t even know how to go there.

NEITHER do I!

I can imagine some truth in this and probably because women are usually (I add ‘usually’ to go along with spargett’s disclaimer, which is brill!) more in touch with their emotions that men and think more abstract and sensory, whereas men are practical, logical and proved to habits.

oops… That should have been “than men..” and “proned to habits”

@wild; w. respect, try door # 3— “prone to habits”.

indeed gailcalled :)

my gf brings up the marriage card all the time. I’m down to get married in vegas or something small. She wants something big. That fairytale wedding is in her mind, I’d get married next weekend if she was down. With that said, if she was unhappy she’d give up and leave. I see it in other aspects of her life.

Just from experience

This may be true of younger women, to some extent. Have you ever read The Cinderella Complex? It’s a good read, especially for a man. It’s based upon the premise that all girls want to be rescued, that being rescued is the ultimate solution to their problems. Indeed, one can see that here reflected in some Fluther questions being asked.

Marriage, for some women, alludes to being rescued, that there will always be someone there who will love and cherish, through good times and bad, the language is certainly there that could have one believing that a person could dump all over another in various ways and then not be dumped upon by their ever-forgiving partner. Anyone who has been married or been in a serious relationship knows this is isn’t true and that everyone has their limits.

It may in fact be those limits that leaves women thinking that they want to divorce quickly as well; namely, that her man isn’t man enough to protect or shield her in some way, to fight her battles for her, or that he’s too wimpy and that he dotes on everything she does. It seems that men are sometimes cursed just for being men, sadly.

All this aside, it may be something as simple as how men and women deal with problems differently. Men tend to deal with problems by distractions, getting busy with other things (sometimes including having affairs), and women will tend to think about and articulate their problems with friends, sometimes even making them larger than they need be.

So what do I think? I think there may be some truth in it, but I think the answers supporting the truth in it are essentially varied.

I agree with spargett.. I blame all of those ‘love’ and ‘romance ’ movies that are watched. it starts when they are young with Disney movies such as Cinderella and as they grow older the movies stay the same, but in a more mature rating. I have a friend who is going through what will soon be a divorce. a few years ago, everything was good so they got to married and a little over a year later she wanted a divorce. I’m sure he had his faults in the relationship, but she was not willing to try to patch things up so she said she wanted a divorce.

Oh, man. This is going to drive me right into the arms of Tom Leykis.

@DQ(fl) I haven’t read the book, but your answer makes a lot of sense.

Every time my ex-wife and I fought (which was very often), she would threaten me with divorce. Finally I called her bluff. Best choice I ever made.