What is the appropriate spending the night etiquette in a hookup situation?

I have asked them to leave before.

And I am a dick.

If it’s clearly defined that it’s casual I don’t have a problem if you spend the night, just don’t expect me to buy / make breakfast in the morning.

If you avoid casual hookups there is never a problem. LOL I have never done that before and never will. Hookup as you call it would have to include deep inner feelings for me otherwise it would not be. Anyway just another point of view. Oh I didn’t see standing on one of the bases. I wouldn’t care if a person stayed over if it was their choice but I wouldn’t want them to get the wrong idea until we were close enough to show the inner feelings.

I think for all but the naive or highly open minded, the act of sleeping over opens the door to deepening commitment and/or emotional attachment. Safest probably is defaulting to not staying over and also setting that as a default boundary until one’s understanding of the nature of the relationship is on firmer ground.

Maybe the exception is an all-night sex marathon with a few breaks thrown in.

I’m one who generally falls into relationships, so I’m mostly speaking from lots of spending the night experience.

I ask before. It more depends on the time, how far we live from each other, and whether the person who’s place it is needs to get up whoa soon.

I thought I went through a wild streak when I was young. I guess I was just before my time. I never would have admitted to the casual hook-ups. Heck, I wasted all that low self esteem on nothing?
If you fall asleep stay. If it feels awkward leave.

I preferred that casual partners leave. I assumed emotional connection if they stayed over.

Unless one invited,then one should not not stay.

@lucillelucillelucille – Pssh. Whatever…If I’m at your place and it’s late, I shouldn’t be expected to leave. Dude, you got to hit THIS. ;-)

@iamthemob -I would kick your ass out. XD

@iamthemob is irresistible!

One night stands… nah, they should leave. Even if they are irresistable.

@chyna – Whatever. I’m taking all y’alls tvs on my way out then.

Walks @iamthemob to the door and firmly closes and locks it.

calls a cab with the credit card out of the wallet he swiped from @chyna while she was in the bathroom that time.

You win. Spend the night.

@iamthemob – irresistible as always. ;-)

Have not been in this situation in eons but gave it a Great Question. Also, if the sex (assuming there is sex) goes till like 4 am, and it’s the dead of winter, would the person be expected to go out there in the freezing cold and get in their car and go? Also, if one stays over, then at what point does etiquette dictate they leave in the morning? upon waking or after coffee? Another thing to ponder – the people will definitely be seeing what each other looks like upon waking – hair a mess, make up smeary.

Unfortunately my hookups often happened after a night out drinking, so usually it was a sleep over for practical reasons of not drinking and driving, then something more would (oops!) just happen….. I ditto @kevbo‘s answer.

I am so middle-aged! Casual sex is way more casual that it was when I was young. You always spent the night unless one of you wanted to leave; you didn’t boot somebody out of bed at 4:00 in the morning and expect them to go home. You stayed the night and at least got a cup of coffee in the morning, then you left. But I guess a lot of people don’t make coffee at home any more.

I don’t think one is overstepping one’s bounds by asking someone to leave one’s home for any reason really. It’s likely the booted party will feel snubbed and respond accordingly.

Ol’ Cockswain is a true love man, and has never been booted, only begged to stay, so this is purely hypothetical.

I always made them breakfast, but I always had a little more than a casual connection with them, so maybe that affected it.

Well, if it’s not a set up casual relationship, and it’s a budding one..I think staying the night is part of getting to know each other and becoming closer. I think the person should make it clear they want you to stay though, like pulling you close post-hook up, and asking the partner to stay.

Once you get in, get out.

B, don’t you mean once you get off?

Can’t be too safe.

You must be so much fun in bed.

How did you know I keep my boardgames nearby?

Wait, what?

Crikey, if you’re not gonna treat the other party like a human being, why not just stay home and jerk off?

I’ve had sex that didn’t lead to anything, not even a second session, but I’d never have sex with someone unless I was at least willing to consider the possibility of something more. I’d never have sex with someone I wouldn’t want to ever speak to again or be seen with.

I think the default position for the host should be that the guest should be able to stay until morning, but the guest should not feel obliged to do so. The default position for the guest should be that the guest should plan on staying but should ask if it’s ok. In other words, basic hospitality and courtesy.

If you want somebody to just service you and leave, you should pay them.