Any suggestions on a non religious wedding?

Congratulations! Charter a boat for your wedding and get married by the Captain of the boat.

Me and the feeyonsay are making the ritual centerpiece of our wedding the signing of the wedding contract (which is when you actually get married, legally). We’re going to get a very fancy desk and both sit down and sign the contract.

Sort of like the ritual that surrounds presidential bill signings.

Also that’s sort of how they do it in Australia.

My Dad and Step mom (my real mom died 13 years ago) got married in a friends back yard with a justice of the peace. It was non religious.. nobody dressed too fancy and we celebrated with a BBQ afterwards. Of course that was summer time.. so unless you live in Florida.

But I recommended a Justice of the peace and just a venue of your choice.

My husband and I had a civil ceremony at my parents’ house. I got married in my bare feet (in the middle of winter, though no one knew, because my dress was so long), with my closest friends and family. It was very relaxed, casual, and lots of fun. There was no mention of religion in the ceremony itself, which was short and sweet. Everyone cried (including my husband, which was adorable.)
After we exchanged vows my mother read a poem welcoming my husband to the family, and then we partied our asses off.

Good stuff. :) Congratulations!

Get your friend to marry you – that’s what we did!

I got married on a beach in Florida by some kind of minister.Can’t exactly remember ;)
A few couples were also married on a boat I used to own.That is an interesting option.

Just make sure to make it a good party. Ultimately, weddings are just big parties centered around the act of two people forming a social contract. I suggest Thai food. That’s what we’re planning.

Just for fun.
Naked tootsies under there. :)

Well, my own wedding was non-religious, and I have been to at least two others.

Get a sympathetic person to officiate (we used a cantor who was a friend of my husband’s family.) Let that person know that you don’t want any religious wording.

Write your vows yourself.

Oh, and our food was a big potluck.

Book a cruise, have the captain marry you at sea.

You might want to check out Unitarian churches in your area; that might fill your needs if you want something a little more traditional yet not “churchy”. Justice of the Peace or judges do a fine job; you’re just as married. You might want to think about writing your own vows.

My cousin and her husband got married on the beach. The bride wore a traditional gown, but she and all the bridesmaids were barefoot. The groom and his attendants wore Mexican wedding shirts and necklaces made of Hawaiian kukui nuts. All of the guests were encouraged to wear Hawaiian shirts and casual beach dresses and sandals or no shoes. Everyone brought their own beach chairs. The couple wrote their own vows and chose an officiate that was non-religious. The couple squaredanced to a fast version of “I’ve Just Seen a Face” (originally by the Beatles). Their cake was made to look like a sandcastle.

Another couple (friends of mine) were married by her father, who was a judge.

Pick a place that you like (park, building, beach, house, friend’s back yard) choose an officiate who is non-religious (they just have to be legally allowed to perform weddings) then pick music that you love, food that you love and people that you love to come as guests. You can spend a lot of money or a little. Another cousin got one of the most beautiful gowns I’ve ever seen on clearance at David’s Bridal. She made all of the centerpieces for the tables herself (it was December so she used evergreen branches and Holly berries and candles and red flowers) and one of her friends did all of the girl’s hair and makeup. The Italian style buffet came from a local caterer. They rented an “event hall” for the reception.

Another friend, bought a vintage (but not an actual wedding dress) dress at a thrift store and one of her friends made a bunch of things to eat for an outdoor luncheon. It was super simple, but very enjoyable (sandwiches, potato salad, lemonade, green salad, cookies). They were married in a park. A judge officiated.

Another friend got married outside at a winery. A non-religious officiant presided (it was a friend of theirs). There was lots of wine and a mediterranean spread of food, buffet style.

Another friend was married in a building on the military base where her husband worked. One of the members of the military officiated.

Write your own vows (there is no legal wording, at least in the U.S. that has to be followed). If you want to save money have a potluck, enlist friends to make your food, talk to the local culinary school and see what kinds of deals they have. Have the ceremony at a park or the beach (just check with the city to find out if you need permits or need to find out if you need reservations) make the centerpieces yourself or have some friends make them for you (you can get inexpensive pretty glass vases at the 99 Cent only store or Big Lots) borrow tables and chairs from friends, relatives and neighbors. Make your own invitations, or have a friend make them, on their computer and print them out yourself or take them to Kinkos. Have a friend make your cake, make a cupcake “tower” or check out the local culinary school to see if the bakery dept. can make you a cake (for less money than a bakery). Have a friend be your deejay, or simply make a playlist on an ipod.

My husband and I had a Justice of the Peace marry us at a park in Texas in front of a river that he enjoys fishing at. It was just us and 2 friends (witnesses) and it was great.

If you want something bigger than that, you could have a Justice of the peace meet you at a reception hall. Have the ceremony part, and then have a reception to celebrate right after the ceremony.

I don’t think I would even notice if a ceremony was non-religious or not, if it is not in a church. My ceremony was Jewish, so of course the rabbi said/sang some prayers, but what I remember is the funny sweet things he said about knowing my husband and me, and talked about marriage and the committment. Our vows were the same to each other, basically saying we would always be there for each other, love, honor, and respect each other. There was little Moses and Israel, but easily could have been left out. I am an atheist, but my husband wanted a traditional religious wedding. At first I thought I would be uncomfortable with the religious stuff, but I am actually glad we did it how we did.

Since you believe in God, one option might be to have a minister from a denomination that isn’t all fire and brimstone.

Maybe write your own vows? And, just get a justice of the peace or a friend who can officiate. It is not difficult or expensive to get certified, certified is not the right word, but I cannot think of the right word, to perform wedding ceremonies. An aquaintance of mine did it for a friend of his.

Congratulations!

Thank you everyone for the great ideas!

Bottom line, it’s your wedding, you can do whatever you want.

Of course, I vote for a nekkid orgie in the middle of the woods during a full moon, but that might not be to your tastes.

One of the nicest ceremonies I have been to was a non-denominational function held at a local green belt where the bride and groom exchanged vows they had written themselves followed by a great after party.

My friends had a totally non-religious wedding, they were atheist/agnostics that were very clear on the non-religious part and it was a wonderful wedding and party. It was nice and simple. They had been together for ten years already and my friend didn’t have a traditional wedding dress, just a very nice dress and the one fashion concession to the occasion were what she called her “princess shoes” which she had dyed to match the dress.

They paid for their own wedding and it wasn’t lavish but it was a lot of fun. They live in New York and a family friend had a nice, big Manhattan apartment and they let my friends hold the wedding and reception there. The ceremony was nice and took less than ten minutes. No procession, no big wedding party. Instead of a maid of honor and a best man they decided they would just have “best friends.” So the groom’s best friend and I were it. We stood for them. Then it was time to party. No band, just a night of amateur DJs, the guests that is, playing records.

The “dinner” was basically a big buffet of every kind of food that could be found in New York accompanied by plenty of champagne, imported beers and cases upon cases of wine. I thought it was a great way to do things and one of the nice things about having a non-religious wedding is that you can do the wedding and reception in the same place or venue if you want. Or not. And as @incendiary_dan put it, a wedding is a big party centering around two people forming a social contract, or, if you want to put it in a less utilitarian way, a celebration of two people who love each other and are making a commitment to on another.

And 25 years and 4 kids later they are not only still married but still absolutely adore each other. Simple wedding, great party, amazing, long-lived and still going strong marriage.

My daughter got married in a friend’s back yard by a justice of the peace. But I think, I don’t remember, he read from a Bible. So you’d have to tell the guy “don’t use a Bible.” I had to call him on the phone first and he definitely wanted to marry them.

One of the most delightful weddings I ever attended was when a friend and I rode a raft down the Snake River in Idaho to a wedding. The bride and groom and their friends arrived by car, probably over dirt roads. After the ceremony and some snacks and wedding cake, we got back in our raft and finished the float trip, while the new husband and wife went home by car or camped out, or whatever they did.

The bride had a white peasant dress and had a wreath of wild flowers woven into her hair and they filled her bouquet, while the groom had on a Hawaiian shirt, short and leather sandals..

Anyway, I always remember that with pleasure.

We did a “destination” wedding. My folks had a vacation home in the Low-Country (South Carolina) – so we found a beautiful B&B with a lovely courtyard near there and invited just our immediate family/best friends to join us over a long weekend for our wedding.
I found a justice of the peace online (a retired judge who was licensed to conduct weddings) and after we exchanged some emails and letters I got the sense that he was just the right guy to conduct the ceremony. In fact, I planned the whole wedding remotely. Ordered my flowers, cake and set up my hair appointments and photographer from over 1000 miles away, sight unseen. It all went fabulous.
We wanted the actual ceremony to be short, sweet and personal..and that’s exactly how it went. It wasn’t a religious ceremony at all—but the JP read a fantastic Native American wedding blessing & a poem, and my dad read a Bible verse that he really liked. Hubby and I wrote our own vows and the whole thing was done in about 20 minutes.
We then hopped a BIG horse-drawn carriage with room for everyone – toured around the town a bit (with everyone yelling congratulations because we were all still decked out in our wedding clothes) and had the carriage drop us off at our dinner (we’d booked a private room at a swanky restaurant in town).

When we got back to where we live in the great-white-tundra of the Upper Midwest we threw a dinner party (reception) for all our local friends and family and showed them a slide show/movie and scrapbook of the wedding.
I loved every bit of both events..and I wouldn’t change a thing. Added bonus is that we ended up spending far less than the “average” wedding, and not even ¼th of the amount my sister spent on her wedding that same year.

I’ve only ever been to three or four religious weddings, and it’s at least 10 years since the last one – most people I know opt for the civil ceremony in a nice country mansion or hotel somewhere.

Vegas baby! That’s the only way I could possibly get married.

@Leanne1986 Vegas sounds PERFECT!

@Leanne1986 Plus if you got married in Vegas, a Cher impersonator could officiate!!! And then you could go to a real Cher concert.

@Kardamom That would be awesome!!!

@Kardamom I saw Cher in Vegas last September…Freakin’ Awesome. I don’t think my boyfriend would be to impressed with having a Cher impersonator officiating but I would certainly try and persuade him. Of course I would be dressed like 60’s era Cher anyway and I would try and persuade the fella to dress like Sonny!

My daughter and son-in-law rented a wedding reception center that had a “chapel” to perform the wedding in, upstairs dressing rooms for the wedding party, a large ballroom dance floor and a dining room. They provided the food, the cake, the flowers, everything. They had a J.P. perform the ceremony and then we ate, drank, and were merry for the rest of the evening. No religious connotations at all. It was lovely.