Quick, what do you do?
The large iron gate comes crashing down behind you, and from several large ceiling vents comes a downpour of salt water that begins to fill the stone-walled room. The skeleton on the throne starts to shudder, and one by one his limbs spring free. He cackles wickedly, and the skeletons on the floor surrounding the podium start to rise from their resting places, retrieving a variety of weapons from the floor.
Your inventory includes 30ft. of rope, a spork, three dirks, two flasks of oil, a silver ring with the double fish symbolizing Pices, a bottle of mead (great vintage), a quill pen, a sack of caltrops, one flask of holy water, four torches, flint and steel, a pair of spectacles that reveal invisible objects, and the golden snake idol that you just pried from the Skeleton Lord’s cold, dead grasp.
What do you do?
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25 Answers
Take out my considerable pecker & skull fuck the freak. I shall then go about my daily business as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Joe Cool that’s me :¬)
Draw my spork and demand obedience.
I’d soak the rope in oil, tie the dirks to the end of it, and light it with my flint and steel to make a flaming flail-like whip weapon, with which I would beat the fuck out of that bitch-ass skeleton lord. I’d put on the Pices ring, pimp slap what remained of the skeleton, put on the spectacles which would reveal an exit to me. Oh, and I’d throw the caltrops everywhere (for the Lulz) and keep the quill and the other shit as a souvenir.
Turn off the computer or close the book!
Well, that’s a pretty easy one.
Put on the Pieces ring an offer a prayer to Poseidon in hopes of giving you a +several for surviving under water, uncork the flask of holey water and use it to bless the entire body of salt water pouring in (in hopes that it damages the “unholy” skeletons). Slap on the glasses and look for anything else that would help (a hidden door would be nice), then take a slug of the mead so you can go into a bizzerker rage should all of the other actions fail to help and you wind up actually having to kick some skeleton ass.
P.S. You could also consider dumping the oil on the rising water and igniting it, but you’ll probably have to hold your breath for awhile until the scumbags finish burning.
Wait for all the water to run through the iron gate and then crack open the bottle of Mead, pull out my “BOOM stick” and start scattering bones!
LOL I lurve Fluther!
@YoBob That’s priceless!
I don’t have a clue what a spork or a dirk or a caltrop are at all…but I would most likely just whip off my glasses, whip on your specs and hope to god that I wake up from this horrible nightmare pretty damn soon… I am useless at this game :-(
I look in amusement at the DM, all while contemplating my revenge…
Then I teleport away…
With two flasks of oil, a bottle of meade, 4 torches, and flint and steel I can blow a hole in anything. I’ll wear the specs as safety glasses.
@worriedguy if you put the glasses on you might find that there’s a hole already there…ah huh??? maybe? xxx ;-)
Give the skeleton thing a few drinks of mead….sounds like it needs it
(what the hell is Spork, and Dirks?)
I’d probably crack out the holy water and bless myself.
@nebule True. But with all that firepower it would be more fun to make my own! :-)
I think that something like this happened in the movie “Jason and the Argonauts” where skeletons came up out of the ground with swords and shields and were mad as hell.
Well I’d forget about the 30ft. of rope, a spork, three dirks, two flasks of oil, a silver ring etc. I’d try to gab one of the weapons (hopefully a big sword) that the skeletons were getting and head for the nearest door while chopping up all skeletons in my path. Well that worked well in the movie.
I read this article today and it made me think of this question… ;)
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