Have you ever felt pain or sadness in rejecting the friendship or romantic interest of a good person?

Yes.

There is someone who has been in my life for a long time. He makes no bones about how he feels about me. It’s uncomfortable. He is an incredibly lovely person…but we have nothing in common intellectually or artistically. He is not intellectually curious and that is important to me because I enjoy a good conversation with the people I love. There is no chemistry, no connection other than we were a “set-up” many years ago (mutual friends did that) and we went out on one date. He keeps saying he was “smitten” since then.

I never have rejected him outright. I just keep saying, “You are SUCH a good friend…I am so glad WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS…you are going to make some woman really happy one day. I wonder if I know any single women?” And attempt to keep things very light.

It does make me sad because I know he is lonely. I just don’t find him attractive in a romantic way…and one cannot force that.

I turned down a guy who was just way, way, way, waaaaay too young for me. I remember how hurt he looked and I felt horrible about hurting his feelings. However, we had nothing in common, we were at completely different stages of life, and he had a rep of “falling in love” and then suddenly dumping his catches a month later.

I was and am too old now for that adolescent “in love with being in love” (read: lust) business.

Yes. I had a friend who was kind, caring, totally into me and pretty well off and he went out of his way to be there for me. He just did not do it for me though. As a friend yes, as anything else no. I couldn’t fake it.

He was also a bit controlling and I think he realised he was flogging a dead horse because I really didn’t try to hide I saw him as a friend and that was all. One day I wouldn’t drop what I was doing to spend time with him and he got cranky and hung up the phone on me and I never followed it up. I let it go because I was glad he got to walk away.

I dated a really terrific gal during a “breakup” and she was a fine woman. Really pretty, kind, happy and we got along great. I ended up letting her go to get back with my girlfriend at the time.

Unfortunately I had to tell someone once that we weren’t going to work out. It was heartbreaking and one of the hardest things I have had to do because he was so very much in love with me. It sent him into a two year depression, which was awful but I couldn’t have carried on the relationship knowing that I didn’t love him as much as he loved me…so sad :o( He’s doing great now though! :-)

A few times. In my younger days, I encountered several decent guys who professed to be in love with me at times when I was nowhere near feeling that in return. In each case, I broke up with them shortly after. In two of those cases, they didn’t go easily, and I had a close-up view of their self-destructive behaviors brought on by the break-ups. It was sad but also a little infuriating, since I’d told them from the beginning that I wasn’t interested in anything serious. :(

No. If I ‘reject’ someone it’s always for a damn good reason. Why feel sad about doing what’s right?