Is this guy playing me? He hasn't called in 2 days! Help, please?

Are you sure he wasn’t calling from jail, and only got one call? just kidding. sort of.

Have you called or e-mailed him?

Yes, I have called him 2 x yesterday and once today. It goes to voice mail. His friend told me he tried to, and no answer. His daughter told me his phone was down. I remember on the weekend it was pretty bad, on and off service… but anyway… i don’t know!!!!

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I think you need to take a serious chill pill. You are not Siamese twins but two adult individuals. Where you may feel like you are in high school again, he may not feel that way. He might have called his daughter because he has her number memorized so he doesn’t need his phone’s address book to dial it. I have good friend I could not call without the phone because I don’t know their number by heart. I think you are worrying just a bit too much; making a mountain from a mole hill. Two days down don’t make a disaster. If he is straight up as you say, then you should logically know there is a good reason for the lapse other than you seeking out the worse case scenario of being dumped or played.

ok, I can understand that… it’s just that he was so into me, calling me ALL the time… and all of a sudden that came to a complete stop. That leaves me wondering… its’ just natural.

he told me he feels like a teenager again! It’s not just me saying it… and I know and feel he’s not faking it!!

He says his phone is down. His friend confirms this. Has he given you any reason to distrust him? If not… You’ve called 3 times knowing his phone isn’t working… back off. You feel like a teenager, but you can still act like an adult. Give him a few days to get his stuff in order, then try again once.

ok @ likeradar

Wow, two whole days, and phone problems to boot? Back off, girl, you’re going to smother him! That’s a lot of drama for anyone older than 16.

2 days for me seem like eternity, given the fact that he was constantly calling and texting me, through the day and night!! That’s why all of a sudden it feels like I was free falling… no calls, nothing… but yeah, the phone was bad on the weekend, on and off…

yeah, I have a lot of insecurity I inherited from my previous relationship… 10 yrs of B.S., lies, etc

I’ve found that it’s usually something ordinary when people suddenly seem to disappear for a while. But I understand that it is very difficult to believe that. You always think the worst, no matter how much your intellectual side tells you to calm down and wait.

His behavior is not about you, @cathlarson72. He has something going on and it has nothing to do with his feelings about you. It’s just something he needs to take care of and he’s probably dying, too, because he can’t reach you.

This has happened to me, and when the woman turned up again, it was the death of her father, or some other emergency, and I felt like a fool. Of course, I was a fool. That’s what falling in love does to people, even older people. Even people who have crossed the half century threshold.

But, I know, this doesn’t help. Learn some calming exercises. Yoga or meditation or something. They can really help in times like these. Also, be with friends if you can. They can take your mind off it somewhat.

Ok, wundayatta! I really appreciate your input on this! I don’t know what’s going on… could be more than the phone issue. It could be his ex giving him drama. I don’t really know at this point. I’m just hoping for the best. And yes, my intellect is going all over the place now! lol

I can’t offer better advice than that already given above, but just generally be patient. I’m certain he’ll explain the matter when next you both meet :)

oh thank you so much, Nially! Yes, I’m looking forward to hearing from him so much! I am not mad or anything… I just want to be with him, period!

I feel bad for you.He knows how to get ahold of you and has chosen not to.
I would not call him.

First of all, he got his daughter to call you…..that’s a good sign.
His friend doesn’t know where he is…good sign…so it’s not only you.

When I read your responses…I sense this deep sense of abandonment and fear. Men disappear sometimes (they go into their cave) and the best thing to do is to busy yourself doing something else besides thinking of him. Let him miss you a little bit.

I guess I worry also (as someone else mentioned) that you might smother him. From my own experience, when a relationship goes great guns like that… if you aren’t careful…and take a breath and pull back a little bit….it will fizzle out before it is even out of the gates.

Calm down….do something else…..allow him to come back…and I honestly think you should talk to someone about the leftover issues you have from your past relationship. If you can’t afford therapy (and it doesn’t always work)....you should go to YouTube and type in “Faster EFT” and you can do a tap therapy that is really quick and will help you to let go of all the trauma from your past which is affecting your relationship with your new love.

Don’t carry the old into the new….but I don’t think you have to worry as long as you allow the relationship to flow and flourish in good time.

Be good to yourself. You’ve been through a lot. I wish you the best in this new relationship.

If you don’t hear from him in ten days then you can freak out.

I agree with all the above, especially the chill pill! You’re going to give yourself heart failure going on like this!

If you’re this panicked after two days you’re going to smother him and scare him away for sure. Feeling and acting like a teenager is not a good thing. You just have to trust what you’ve been told – he’s having some kind of phone problem, his friends haven’t heard from him either so it’s not just you. If you don’t trust him enough at this stage then the relationship is as good as over already. No relationship can survive without trust.

A question – you say you’ve been communicating a lot with him for the rest of the month – who initiates most of the contacts? Do you call him first or does he call you?

@downtide… both call and look for each other.

@faye: Yes, I understand that… but NOT KNOWING anything makes me freak out. I wish he would say anything at this point… like “I need a breather” or “I have to solve some problems”. From talking all the time to not talking is really killing me with doubts! I hate this situation.

@lucillelucillelucille: so you think pretty much he’s over with? If he’s over, why couldn’t he just email or call me even from the pay phone to say that? That’s what I don’t get it. We were doing so well…

I haven’t read all the other responses but my first thought reading your post was… eeek needy. You don’t want to appear needy to this man. If he doesn’t run straight away, he will run. He got his daughter to call you and say he loves you… she told you his phone is down… if he didn’t want to see you or hear from you again, he wouldn’t have involved his daughter. Back off, give him time to get his phone fixed and to phone you and even if your stomach is in knots, do not act needy. It is never flattering.

Don’t cling on, keep yourself calm over all this.

People from long failed marriages often can carry lots of excess baggage and unresolved problems and when he is with you the world is grand, but back in his world life might not be so grand. Just dating since the beginning of the month is not all that long to get to really know someone. I would give yourself some space from your mystery man until more answers come your way.

Ok, I understand… I was just used to all the attention all the time he was giving me…

Hurm, I’ve been thinking about this more and didn’t realize you’ve been dating for less than a month.

The fact that he got his daughter to call you and say he loves you after only dating for 26 days is weird and crazy inappropriate to me. Judging by his actions and yours, you might want to take a big step back and think about who this person really is and why you’re allowing yourself to be driven this nuts by someone you have known for less than a month. New infatuation can be great, but try to take the blinders off.

In the era of email I see no reason for someone to not get in touch with someone they want to talk to. Seems to me this person doesn’t want to talk to you. That’s not necessarily terrible… sounds like things are really intense in your new relationship and he may taking a strange/uncool route to get it back on a more healthy pattern.

@likeradar: yes, I thought about that too… how can I take a step back? I’m not calling anymore. I’m just waiting to see what happens. At least I think he should say something, like “we’re going too fast with this”, or “let’s just take it slow”... anything!!! It will help me understand what’s going on. I hate to be left out hanging. Some people here said I’m making a big deal, but all I want is to understand where we’re standing now.

I’ve got an update: I talked to his daughter just today and she said he called again from a pay phone from the store and said he hasn’t got a phone yet. She said she was curious and asked him if he still loves me and what’s up with us… he said yes, he loves me, and yes we are together. He told her he would write me an email later today. I get happy knowing this but at the same time still confused. He said he didn’t remember my phone number by heart, so his daughter is going to pass it on to him when he calls again. I so wish everything got straightened out, this is tearing me up still… but I’m feeling a little better, been busy today, so that’s good.

How in the world does his daughter know your phone number, and why couldn’t he ask his daughter for it? I smell something that doesn’t seem right here…

she has my phone number because he gave it to her a few weeks ago… so we could talk, and we have talked a lot, she and I. Yes, that’s my problem… he could have asked her if he didn’t remember it. You’re right. So what do you think it’s not right, Barnacle? thank you!

From what you’ve told us and in thinking about the other questions people have asked about this dude, it is clear to me that this is not a good relationship.
It could be that he is a total looser schmuck, or it could be that you have much more invested in this than he does. Or both.
The simple fact is that after less than a month, there are some massively major red flags waving clearly in your face.

I think that the fact that he calls his daughter and tells her to call you, as opposed to calling his daughter, asking for your phone number and calling you himself, means one of two things: 1) he’s dumber than a box of rocks that he couldn’t reach that conclusion himself, or 2) he’s some place where he only gets one phone call a day, like jail. Furthermore, does the man not have a job or some sort of employment where there are phones? How does an adult who pays his bills go 4 days without a working telephone? Can he not figure out that you take your phone to the phone store, and have them fix it?

Do you live in the same town? Does his car not stop at your house? Or is this just a phone relationship? If it’s just on the phone/internet, that’s not dating.

No, he is a truck driver… he lives 2 hrs from me. But his office is close to my house, and he stays around here most of the time. So yeah, we have been to dates. He makes very good money, so I still don’t know why he hasn’t got a phone yet or have his old one fixed. I told his daughter to have him call me. She said he was going to email me tonight and so far nothing. Going on the 4th day tomorrow. I really don’t get it. So why is he telling her to tell me he loves me and we’re still together??

and I did see his phone going crazy when I was with him. It goes on and off and loses signal all the time… I told him to take it to the store and have them look at it. He went to the store with me and was looking at other phones. He wants to buy a 700 dollar phone, I thought it was outrageous. But he ended up not buying.

Cath, there are alarms going off for me (and obviously Bill) all over the place here. It just all sounds very odd. I would be careful. I don’t want to say write him off because, perhaps he is just “dumber than a box of rocks” (love that saying Bill :-)) but is really a lovely guy and you two could be very happy, but I do think you should tread very carefully and not invest too much too quickly. Just take your time and see how things go but I would be very wary.

yes, Mz Lizzy… it makes sense what you said… I am… I am very careful now. His daughter called and texted me countless of times for me to be patient, that he misses me very much and will get in touch with me soon. I get little happy but at the same time a little scared…

@BarnacleBill Option 3— He’s just not that into her.

@Radar: it could be… but what I don’t understand, why is he telling his daughter all these things to tell me? If he’s not into me…?

Okay….I am thinking of taking back my first answer to you.

How old is his daughter?? And have you met her??

An image of “The Grifters” flashed into my mind. Or that episode of “Two and a Half Men” where this couple was pretending to be father/daughter while they conned Charlie’s mother and Charlie out of his money. (I’m just saying…what came into my mind.)

I don’t understand why he has his daughter calling you. RED FLAG. Or why he is using a pay phone. RED FLAG Or that if he is at work, he can’t borrow someone’s phone. RED FLAG You say he makes a lot of money, but he can’t afford a mobile phone RED FLAG

What does he do for a living? What does he drive? Where does he live? Have you seen his house? And if you do know what he does for a living…have you been to his place of employment? Called him at work?

He is using his daughter to help him hide something…and jail is the only place where you are allowed ONE phone call from a pay phone. I might be sailing into Barnacle Bill’s Bay of Possible Scenarios here.

I absolutely feel your pain…so I don’t want to make light of it. But I am extremely concerned that something is not right here….please, please, be careful.

The whole being in jail and only getting one phone call a day is the thing that sounds the most plausible to me here.

You can have more than one call a day in jail but they will be collect calls that said, it does seem a little odd but you been with him only a month and your this clingy ? that to me is a red flag .

@ Darling: Yes, I have met his daughter. He took me to meet his family about 2 weeks ago. We spent the day with them, it was wonderful. His daughter is 18 and a sweetheart. I know where he works, my ex husband works there too… he drives truck. I cannot call him at work because he’s never at the office. The reason I know he makes a lot of money is because I’ve seen his paystubs… not that he was “flashing” them to me, but I saw it, and he really does make the money.
I haven’t got the email his daughter said he would send me. At this point I am beyond confused. I have no clue. I did hear from another coworker of his that another driver has seen him Wednesday and he was in Bradenton.
Should I call his mom? I am afraid it’s just not going to do any good and make things worse. Should I just leave it all alone and try to heal my broken heart. Oh gosh it hurts so much.

Oh my, find something to do with your time or you will drive him away if you have not yet.
No one falls in love in a month, that is LUST. Are you sure that you want to put yourself out there that quickly? Please give yourself time to adjust to your new world. You need time to get to know yourself, being recently divorced you have to re adjust to your new life. Go take some classes, go to a few museums, go shopping, etc. Maybe find a rebuilding when your relationship ends workshop at church, you cannot put yourself out there like that it is just too dangerous honey.

ok Misst, I appreciate your words… yes, I never stopped my life as to my daily routines, but I was just hanging there emotionally, you know… It took a big toll on me. Yes, I think I let my guard down too fast, that wasn’t good at all.

Never assign malice where stupidity will suffice as an explanation.

By this I mean, it has probably not occurred to him to get your phone number from his daughter, or if it did occur to him, he didn’t have a pen at the time.

If not thinking things through is part of his personality, you are probably going to have to live with it, and not get upset if he disappears on you like this. In his thought process, he is communicating with you. In yours, he is not. Likewise, the idea of getting the cheapest phone possible in order to have a phone at all does not seem to have occurred to him.

How will the frustrations of communicating with him on his own terms and his finer points offset each other, and can you live with it? The relationship is too new for you to assume the infatuation is what the relationship is really like. As it progresses, in all likelihood can you put up with things like this and not jump to the worst conclusion?

@Bill: thank you, I don’t know if it was carelessness of his part or just plain abandonment. I cannot tell you yet. I still haven’t got an email or a phone call. I do not understand and we know it makes no sense that he hasn’t gone to get another phone. I talked to another friend, a woman, who is also his friend, and she could not get a hold of him either. So I guess pretty much everyone is in a standoff as to communicating with him. It is all too new for me because I never gone these many days without communicating with a partner. I guess like you said we are in different frequencies as to communication levels. I am hanging in there… not too hopeful, but getting on with life… what else is there to do.

@cathlarson72…......I know it must be awful for you.

So, you met his daughter. You met his family. Everything was fine.

Something still isn’t stacking up. If he is a truck driver (is this correct?) I don’t understand how a truck driver doesn’t have a cell phone?

The other thing is this….truck drivers are on the road a lot. So, he may like his freedom to what what he wants when he is driving. And has gotten used to not being held responsible.

Please keep us posted. I’d like to know what happens.

Most of all…and I know this may not be much of a comfort….be good to yourself. Take yourself to dinner with friends, go to a movie, rent a movie, go shopping, take a walk, meditate….do something simply for yourself. Switch off the phone. Leave him alone.

If he is going to contact you….let him come to you. And the only way to get answers is to let him do it on his own time. Do the Kate Middleton dance….when Wills broke up with her…she didn’t sulk or cry. She went out and had a great time. It made Wills wonder what he had been missing. Next thing you knew, they were back together.

@Darling: at this point I don’t get true hope about this situation. I’m following along my days… not very happy at the moment… as to be expected, right? I will keep you guys posted, for sure. I really appreciate all of you guys’ comments… it has helped me think and stay on track. I just hate the “if’s”, but hey… that’s life. His daughter still texted me a couple more times today saying he will contact me soon, and he loves and misses me very much. So I am doing like you said, taking care of myself. I never stopped caring for myself, but I thought I would have someone special to share my life with… and I thought that someone would be him, but I guess not. So let it be!

yes, he’s a truck driver, but stays local, in state… That’s what I don’t get either… he NEEDS a phone to communicate.

ok, his friend told me he was looking to buy a Droid phone, which cost 600.00… it’s the one he’s been wanting. So I guess he cannot go without that phone… rather than buying any phone just to go by the week… I don’t get it….

I find it curious that he’s broken contact with his other friends as well as you. Something really weird is going on in that guy’s life, and I wouldn’t mind betting he’s in a lot of serious trouble, somehow or other.

What do you think it might be? He’s not in jail because they saw him at the terminal (office) yesterday and Tuesday (or Wed, I cant remember which day)...

As hard as it is, try not to dwell on it. Let him do all the work to get out of this one. If his daughter contacts you again, ask her why she hasn’t given him your phone number so she can call you himself.

Do something nice for yourself; you deserve it for the stress of this week.

yeah I’m going to wait to see if his daughter texts or calls me tomorrow… I will try not to dwell on it… it’s hard… but I will try. It just never explains the fact that he could have gotten the phone number already and damn… called me from a pay phone! But I got at least 3 people involved in this thing now… lol… they WILL let me know if they call them. He has no clue I talked to them and I know I can trust them with that, cause they were cheering for us all the way.

Sometimes Cath, people are just plain weird. I would do as Bill says, go out, have some fun. See other friends. Men are a little like buses, none turn up for ages and then three turn up at the same time! If you go out, you might just find a less weird Mr Right is waiting for you. I am not sure how long you have been separated/divorced but you still seem fairly fragile. Now may not be the time to get too involved with anyone. I think someone wisely suggested taking some classes and doing some things for you. Might be time to get out that bucket list and start ticking some things off or if you don’t have one, make one. Look after you. Let this guy be for now. If he phones, you can try to figure out what he is about and if you want to be bothered, but for now if I were you, I would do as Bill says and go out and have a great time and relieve some of that stress.

ok thanks MzLizzy! :-)

his daughter just called me again saying he went by really fast and met her at the gas station near the house to give her some money, and again asked her to tell me that he’s been driving crazy hours and hasn’t had a chance to email me yet… that he will and he loves me very much… oh gosh this is killing me!!!!!

And he didn’t ask for your phone number because….?

What kind of local deliveries take place on a Friday night? He’s sleeping where?

Time to realize the type of guy he really is, @cathlarson72. You’re likely waiting for a ghost at this point.

What????

Keep us posted.

Don’t give either of them money!

@Bill: I don’t know why he didn’t ask for my number… he could have called me from her phone 2 min!!!! She has a working phone!!

@ Radar: I think so too… but why is he still telling her all this stuff????

@Darling: I will…..

@faye: No, I won’t…

What a bizarre thing!!!

@Bill: deliveries of all sort… he hauls liquid (semi)... they do 24/7 deliveries all over the state… he had to deliver a load near his house and met his daughter to give her some money.

Why did you not ask her why she didn’t give him your number? You had your chance.

You seem to be enjoying not knowing where he is… minor adult form of middle school drama going on here…. You could end this at any point by asking why she has not given him your number, and telling him that if he can’t take 5 minutes to call you himself, you’re not sure you want to continue the relationship with him.

I will ask her next time she calls. My head was spinning in all kinds of different directions when she called, nervous, etc… I forgot…

Write down the questions you need to ask….keep them by the phone. Don’t lose your nerve. Ask them.

Till then, keep busy….it’s Saturday….please go out….somewhere. Keep yourself distracted.

Keep us posted. We care.

I texted her that: I think your dad just doesnt want to talk to me. He could have called from your phone, or payphone… no email, no call, nothing. I am not going to play this game anymore… it’s just too much for me. When ppl care for each other, they find a way to keep in touch. I know he’s busy with work but he was with you some days this week… why didn’t he borrow your cell 2 min to call me? Why didn’t he get my number with you and called from the payphone? This makes no sense to me. I’m sorry to put you through this, but I just reached a point that I don’t know what else to think about this situation. Thank you, take care, big hug…

That’s what I texted her (broken down in 3 texts)... cause I had to… for my sanity… anyway, she texted me back saying “Just that hes going to email you when he gets a chance because he hasn’t had any sleep either because he hasn’t had time, working all week non stop”. Then the other one: “He was hurrying (yesterday that he met with her to give her money), he wasn’t supposed to be here… I’m at a bridal shower now, I will text u later, love u”.

Ok, so far, my day has been going… I did go out, walked with the dogs, got some sun (live in FL), but now I’m home. At moments I feel hopeful but at other moments I’m in total despair. I know I’m a fool. But I wish he would just call to say : “it’s over, it’s not going to happen anymore”... I dont’ understand WHY he keeps telling his daughter that he’ll email me and never does, that he love and misses me… what a hell of a situation. But I’m going to be alright. I might go out again later, walmart, to the mall, anywhere… or just for a drive.
Thanks guys, so much, it means a lot!

I have had a few difficult relationships. One of them was long-distance so I often spent weekends alone (which was hardest.)

What I found was that having a routine for me on weekends was good. I would wake up, read the paper, go buy groceries, come home and exercise…then, I would take myself out to dinner. I went to a small restaurant that had booths so I could take a magazine or newspaper or catch up writing out birthday cards for friends. After dinner, I would take a walk over to Barnes and Noble and browse the books and then grab a mocha at Starbuck’s. Then, I would go and rent a movie, go home and make popcorn and watch a film or two. It kept my mind off the futility of it all.

Other things I would do….work on redecorating the house, going to vintage markets, visited friends (really a good one!), volunteered, went into the office for a few hours….just made sure that my Sat/Sun were filled with other things.

In the end @cathlarson72 , I realized that if you have to work so hard at something…it’s not on purpose. When you have to work even harder at not thinking about it that’s a sign that something really is askew.

It would be so much easier if people just told each other the truth. It hurts in the short run, but at least you know where you stand.

(((hugs))) Be good to yourself….and keep us updated.

Thank you @DarlingRhadamanthus, you are a sweetheart :-)

ok I got some updates… not very happy ones though, I’m afraid. I’ve befriended one of his female friends a while back on facebook, and we talked a little bit… and we’ve been talking about my situation with him since Friday… your jaw would drop if I told you guys what she told me. She said they dated 10 years ago. They met online, and he took a trip to her state, spent 2 weeks at her house, then he came back to FL and disappeared!! She went crazy of course… cause he was charming her, talking about marriage, etc… in such a short time… then 10 years later out of the blue, he adds her on facebook, and he wants to “start over from what they left off”!!! How crazy is that? Of course she didn’t but accepted him as a friend. He had told me about her right at the beginning but said they never had anything, just friendship. Anyway, more news about him… one of his friends at work told me that another driver saw him in Bradenton on Friday and his girlfriend (still living together) together. She was riding along in his truck!!! I am so sure these 2 guys would not make this story up because the one who saw Mr. Casanova does not know about us. And he knows his girlfriend (which I thought they had broken up). But they still live together. Then I called his daughter, to which she said “they are all lying… my dad is not with her, she was home at the time, etc”... apparently they still live together!! So, what a mess! No wonder he couldn’t call or email me! His daughter said, please be patient, he is trying to separate from her (!!!!), and he wants to be with you. So this is so much insanity at this point for me, I will just rest my case. I’m not going to fight over this anymore. I would rather go on with my life in simplicity and sanity and peace… so I guess we solved the mystery of our mystery man!!

I am so sorry that it ended up this way, but very glad you are able to get to the bottom of it before it got even more complicated. Far better to figure this out early in the relationship, and to extricate yourself from it. You deserve much, much better in a relationship. You seem like a kind, caring, accepting person and deserve someone who respects those qualities in you.

Thank you so much, Bill… you have been a great help in this process. Yes, I’m broken hearted, but I will get over it. Time will heal everything, I’m sure…

The worse thing, that friend told me she also found out, after he disappeared, that he was with this woman he’s been with for 12 years now!! He was already living with her at the time he went to spend 2 weeks up there at her house!!! So it’s a pattern of deceit there.

There is a pattern of deceit, and in all this, be thankful that you’re not that woman that he’s serial cheating.

It sounds like from all this that you have a wide social network and connectivity with lots of different people. The more connections you’re able to make and keep, the fuller life that you have, and the better quality of life you have. You will meet lots of good people who are capable of sustaining relationships. This one perhaps came with a bit of glitz early on, and that’s fun, but staying true to yourself is important. Plenty of fish out there.

Oh, geez, @cathlarson72 . I am so sorry to hear the news…but I am not surprised, unfortunately. I know you are probably hurting (though putting on a brave front.)
Please, if he contacts you again…don’t go back. He will try to do that, you know.

When a man weaves a web of deceit like that…he will continue. I know from experience. Trust me on this one.

And when a relationship goes that fast, that soon, it fizzles out just as quickly. Charmers have to get you to like them quickly, because they are like the Wizard of Oz, hiding behind a curtain. It’s all illusion. So, they must reel you in before you figure out….that they are not genuine. They have to hook you as soon as possible so you won’t get away.

The other thing that bothered me is that you went to meet his family, right? So you met everyone and everyone knew the truth about his situation but you. The idea that his whole family was complicit in this is a bit appalling.

Did you know they were living together?? If not…uh….another big lie.

I am saying this to you because you will be tempted to go back to him and I hope you won’t. He is deceptive, manipulating, and knows how to play a woman like a fiddle in a bluegrass band.

You really do deserve to be with someone who loves you, cherishes you, cares for you…but more than that….is a man of integrity, decency and honor.

Unfortunately, Mr Still-Lives-With-His-Girlfriend-Doesn’t-Have-A-Cell-Phone-Doesn’t-Tell-The-Truth….has none of the above mentioned traits.

Please be good to yourself….I know it’s painful…but please, please join a church group, a singles group, anything to meet nice, available men who will love you in a healthy way.

(((((((((mega huge hug)))))))))))))))

Hi Guys, thanks fo much for all the nice words. I gotta tell you guys… I took a friend with me (common friend of me and this guy) and we went to his house Sunday!! LOL. We said we were driving down Ft Myers and since his house is on the way back, we decided to stop by to say hello. We bought his daughter a box of chocolate candy and a shirt for him. LOL. He was so shocked to see us!! And then his “ex” gf stepped outside and talked to us, he introduced us to her. It was really hilarious! Then we went in the house (I wasn’t expecting to be invited in). I know this sounds rude… to just show up at people’s houses, but I HAD to see just to have some closure. He is not OK with her at all. We could tell they got nothing to do with each other anymore. I even took pictures! LOL. He wanted to take a pic with me, so we did. I wanted to take a pic of them 2 (him and her), none of them wanted!! They said, no we dont take pics anymore together, like really not wanting to take the pic. But I finally convinced them. Her youngest daughter was on the pic too. They did not hug. As a matter of fact, they were about 3 ft away from each other. And no smiles. But I got to see what I wanted. He then texted me after we left chewing me out for showing up at his house and causing a lot of problems. He said she was very very angry cause she noticed that we exchanged glances many times (we did really), and she was bitching him all over. I said, I’m sorry I caused you problems. We wont stop next time. And I catch myself thinking, why am I still after this guy? I am such an idiot! But I really had to go see, cause hearing from it is one thing. We did have fun on this trip though. At least I got out of the house. He told me we are still going to be together, and that we ARE together. I said, you must finish your deal with her first. He said he’s waiting to get the house deal done then he will go his way, and she’ll go her way. Seeing is believing. I so wish we could be together. Maybe I’m in dreamland. What a idiot i am! What do you guys think?

I think he’ll cheat on you, too.

I think you like drama.

no, radar….. I know I’m a idiot, but I had to see with my own eyes. I know. It’s stupid.

@cathlarson72 You had to see, and you still want to be together. What kind of advice are you looking for? What do you think anyone will say?

YES! Wait for this guy. He sounds like a gem, and after he gets over this girlfriend, he will surely be true to you.

Do you just need help moving past it, or are you looking for ways to be with him?

I want it to be over… but I keep having hopes deep down, to be honest. Oh gosh it hurts so much. He did look for me after that week he disappeared. He started the smooth talk again and yes I fell for it. Just like a stupid. I’m sorry, I just can’t explain how hard it has been for me to let this go. I know it’s pathetic.

You saw two people living together, and a woman refusing to stand within three feet of a man that she just realized is cheating on her.

thing is, Bill… he said they are no longer together. That story of the house…. blahblah.

Of course he said; he wants in your pants.

And he forgot how to use a telephone to dial your number because….?

yeah I know. Time to move on, right? He is still getting his daughter to text and call me… why? This is another week he is not talking to me, like that one. Because his gf is riding in the truck with him “so he doesnt get sleepy”. Sure. Seriously, I want to move on. I’m sick of it.

I know… nothing I say will justify what he did. You know how the heart fools a person. But the mind tells me… “get over it… not happening… not good for you”. I wish I just got passed this stage I’m going through now.