How do you feel about folks airing their dirty laundry on Facebook or other social networking sites?
Last week I asked this question regarding my ex using his since closed Facebook account to bad mouth me. Then last night I saw a status update from a friend with a surprise pregnancy. She was announcing the big news and in the process begging anyone who knows the father father, who wants nothing to do with the baby and who also has a Facebook account, to change his mind. I really like the woman who made this post but the whole idea of putting it out there made me very unsettled. What are you feelings about this type of thing? Full disclosure: While never going to that extent I have shared feelings of frustration in my facebook status.
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22 Answers
Yeah, I’m with you- it’s very unsettling. I’ve seen people discuss miscarriages, personal illness and cheating. I find it very strange. I’ve been called a hermit and a loner on more than one occasion, so maybe I don’t have the most shared opinion on public sharing of information
Maybe I’m too old for this, but I was more than a bit appalled when my friend was posting on FaceBook via Blackberry during labor. Seemed like her priorities were just a bit skewed at that moment.
Isn’t that the point of these sites? To spread as much crap about the users life as possible to as many people who may or may not care as you can…. seems to me these sites promote people to try and reach as much “fame” as they can…in the form of “followers”
I may be wrong..I’ve never had…or will ever have accounts on these types of sites
I do use FB. I don’t put really personal stuff on it. I also don’t post vague “feeling” posts that invite people to ask me what’s wrong. Not everyone in my FB are people I am really comfortable sharing intimate details with (in fact, most people that I know personally I do not share intimate details with). Therefore I keep the FB posts limited to events in my life, like traveling, general posts for holidays and birthdays and such, and responding to others’ similar posts. Some people I know post things like they’re upset because the boyfriend left them, they’re hurting, etc., I would never ever post something like that.
As far as how I feel about people posting their dirty laundry, I think it’s tacky and tasteless but to each his own.
Anyone know to what extent that is actually illegal? If somebody badmouthes you on an open forum like that? Is it libel or defamation?
I try to keep personal stuff off my facebook. No doubt most of my posts would be considered inane, but I have a lot of friends that I simply don’t get to see much (if ever) and facebook is my only real way to keep up with them. Posting every so often lets them know I’m still kicking (my broken toes into things, for instance). I wait to post things like relationships until they’re at least a month old and kind of settled and then I delete the “relationship status change” thingie from my page. If people keep up with me, they’ll know that I’m in a relationship that I wasn’t in before. And if one ends, I do the same. I try to keep my facebook mostly impersonal when it comes to the important things in life. Then again, if I get engaged or something like that that bears announcement, it’ll be up there as soon as people who need to know need to know. I think that big things can be announced, but at an appropriate time. Airing all your conflicts and issues over facebook is base immaturity.
@FrBrown While these things are mostly defamation of character, the main usage of things like this on facebook is for fodder for a divorce or other legal proceedings. Things like this should be copied (via the “print screen” button) and printed. Then they should be saved for when necessary.
I think it’s silly and will most likely come back to haunt them.
I am very careful about what I put on FB. Don’t really like the site and also don’t want to just scatter-shot my personal business.
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There are two types of Facebook users.
A. The people that like to keep in touch with friends/family, play games (Farmville, etc.) and share photos.
B. The look at me! look at me! drama queens.
Can’t stand the drama queens. ugh
I have a family member that will occasionally post something like “I hate fake people. You know who you are. I love all my true friends”. She does this at least once a week. It’s very annoying. Luckily I have very few drama queens that I’m acquainted with.
I think this thread proves what I believe. All of that stuff redounds on the poster. It just makes them look bad or immature.
Facebook and Fluther are both open-type forums for people to ask and discuss questions and problems of a timely matter.
Both of these sites can be filled with drama. How far is too far?
Questions, in general, should only be discussed on these two sites. I do not believe in being too personal with the world. You never know who is watching and reading. This is what personal emails and text messaging is all about.
Too many people “cross the line” by devulging too much personal information on Facebook and Fluther. Way too much.
Thought you guys would get a kick out of this. Sounds a bit like Fluther sometimes, eh?
It’s her facebook and life so it’s none of your business what she shares on the site. My suggestion to anyone who doesn’t like what someone posts is just delete them as a friend and run your Facebook the way you like.
Seems to me that some deluded folk in need of attention view sites like those as a platform to air their angst. I can’t be doing with it, I really can’t.
@BBSDTfamily doesn’t her sharing the information indicate that she wants to make it my business? Asking others to speak to this baby’s father on her behalf seems to make that even more clear.
I once had to choose which women to be friends with on Fb. I chose the one who didn’t ask us to choose. The asker is 40 something. I also hate the I love you, honey’s. That should be face to face or a phone call, skype, email- not facebook, gag.
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I thought that’s what they were all about. Many of the stories are just fake anyway.
I sometimes find it ridiculous, surprising, and even comical in how far some people will go to reveal personal things on Facebook. I haven’t see it that much on Fluther, though.
Again, it’s not FB, it’s the people. People like you describe will discuss these things face to face to, regardless of whether they have FB. Some people are just that way.
@SuperMouse Yes she chose to make her news your business, but your question was about how we felt about others sharing their personal business on Facebook. That is her decision to share the info publicly, so if you don’t want to read it then delete her. For the record I wouldn’t ever share something like that on Facebook either, but then again that is my decision.
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