How open are you about your mental illness?

Dude. I’m really trying to keep this hidden. I mean, if the jellies knew about me, I’d probably get banned on the spot! So why did you have to ask?

Well, other than fluther, my wife and a few friends who never talk to me about it (actually, some of them don’t talk to me at all), no one knows. My parents and siblings don’t know, although one relative further away knows because she has what I has. On my Mom’s side of the family, there was also someone, but she just passed away.

But no one else knows in my family. Similarly, no one at work knows. My boss is a very nice guy, but I just don’t want to risk it, especially when I am doing well.

I’ve heard too many bad stories about what happens when you tell. I’m not going to do that as long as I don’t have to.

I’m learning to be more open about it. So far it has been met with a lot of skepticism and denial. A lot of “oh you’ll be fine.” and “this too, shall pass” kind of attitudes.
Though, I’ve been dealing with this for 15 years now. If not longer, really. Maybe all of my life. I find it freeing, though. To not have to hide so much, to not have to make up so many excuses for my absences or my inability to commit to plans. In that way it has been a positive thing for me. There are a few people who have known about my issues for a long period of time, but I don’t have a large scale comparison to how people react when they know. I praise my husband daily for putting up with me, that’s for sure.

I’ve had (and still have, from time to time) issues with chronic depression. But I don’t tell anyone.

Keep it on a low volume.

Pretty much totally open about the OCD and I can find some humor in my personal weirdnesses. This tends not to be a turn-off to people, so I can be open about it. (honestly, though, I think if people knew how obsessive I am, that might be a real turn-off for them)

The rest of it, I try to downplay because it’s not that pretty. I have a problem with tending toward melancholy/depression. That’s not something I talk about much because who wants to get involved with someone like that? Much better, in my opinion, if you get to know me first, so maybe there will be some sympathy when it happens. But, on the other hand, I believe that has lead to some unhappy surprises in romantic relationships.. especially as it takes me longer than most people to even figure out that I’m depressed, so it’s not like I see it happening and can say, ‘Hey, I need some time, I’m depressed’ – I just withdraw, not good.

One may not be open about a mental problem, but the point is the mental illness may be open about him/her.

Only 2 people in my life know about my diagnoses. I think that’s mostly due to the fact I am not a very forthcoming person, in general. On fluther, I seem to be much more open about it.

I’m open about my depression and anxiety issues with a few people: my parents, my sister, Mr. Fiance, and my best friend. Otherwise, I won’t usually talk about it unless I’m in a situation where I think my experience might help someone else.

There are a few people whom I’ve told the very basic aspects, including my former boss (I had to explain running off the sales floor to hide a few times).

I don’t feel it’s something to be ashamed of, but I don’t need everyone to know everything about me.

Too many people know about mine. Yeah my family is fine, but when I’ve become severely unstable and my boss wants to know the reasons for my absences and bizarre behavior. Each job that has happened I’m gone two weeks later. That’s why I’ve applied for disability. I’m sure everyone in my church knows. One Sunday my husband didn’t want to leave me alone because I was suicidal. I sat in the pew rocking heavily with holding my head every once in a while because I was feeling bugs and seeing people. I’ve been at church while unstable often because my husband doesn’t want to leave me alone and he feels he needs to be there.

It took all of my strength not to punch a church member in the face when he came to me and said that I’ll be ok and that for relief of any ill we need to turn to the Lord through prayer and scriptures…yadda yadda…HELLO! This is a disorder not the friggen cold. I believe that the Lord can work miracles, but He works miracles with the resources available to us also.

Totally went off, sorry guys.

If someone asks, I’m open. They generally never think I have issues that I do. I can’t believe the people in your life though. What cowards.

It’s not something I’m very open about. I’m slowly becoming less guarded about my past, but in general it’s something I’ll only talk to those very close to me. I’ve had a couple of negative experiences with people I trusted enough to open up to, but I suppose at the end of the day my goal is to be okay about what I’ve gone through. After that, I know it won’t matter who knows or who doesn’t.

I keep the weird stuff to my therapist… because every time I tell someone I end up getting soicaly isolated and depressed and me to the point that I need to move away… I keep the really really weird stuff from my therapist and select when I can trust…I’ve seen the inside of a police station and have been harassed

I don’t really publicize the fact that I was diagnosed with ADD, once. It has its tactical uses (academically, anyway), but by and large it’s not really anybody’s business but my own. I will freely apply what wisdom I’ve gained from my relevant experiences, though. Got me a proposal, once. I was never entirely sure that she was joking.

I’m probably more open than most, because my brother has been schizophrenic most of his life, so I’ve been around it. He doesn’t go around advertising it, but likes to joke about it. When people say “You’re crazy” He says “Yes, and I have papers to prove it.” To be honest, he doesn’t exactly hang out in mainstream culture.

i’m very compassionate and empathetic to a fault. with zero self esteem.

dont even talk to a therapist anymore and I’m stressed.

but who really gives a dip? in my family.

I come from the good old southern tradition of just keeping it to yourself. I mean it just makes situations awkward so what’s the point of dragging everyone into it? I kind of feel this should apply to Fluther as well. I mean, there’s better forums for mental illness out there, so why muck up our good time here with depressing shit?

@breedmitch A sound strategy, if you ask me. People who go on about their handicap (past the point of relevance) tend to be annoying.

If people hide mental illness then it is a step backwards for all those who work in mental health care.
I can see no reason to hide mental illness because of the small minded minority within society. There is no reason to tell those you feel uncomfortable with. But if you are thinking of marriage or even a professional position. It is far better to disclose this information.

People who ignore others due to mental illness are really lacking in people skills and some are probably frightened having read things about Schizophrenia and other more disturbing aspects of mental illness.

People will never understand mental illness if people who suffer and experience this type of illness feel they have to hide it. I believe all are valid reasons to hide it. I can see no change till people are willing to believe that good and caring people will not drop you as a friend. And perhaps your illness is more of a blessing in that you will never have fair-weathered friends. Just people who really care about YOU. You must believe that being ill does not make you any less a person or any less valuable with something to offer.

Be good to yourselves. :-)

Wow, @Hidden_Mystery. Those rose-colored glasses sure are thick. It’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to worry about losing your job and your friends and isolating your children, and being cut off from your family.

Do you have any evidence at all that the small-minded are a minority in our society? Tell me where you live. I want to move there.

It’s not my job to educate people and to be out front on the issue. It’s not my job to fight the good fight. If you want to do that, the more power to you, but don’t be telling me you work in the field and you don’t understand why we feel a need to hide it. Tell me where you live. I want to make sure I don’t get you as a therapist—or whatever you are.

I’ve spent my time on the front lines. But now I have a family I need to care for. I don’t think I would be doing my job if I were to leave myself open for being despised. My old college friends seem to want nothing to do with me any more. I’m not telling any more people. They know so little. I don’t need to give people even more reasons to avoid me.

@Hidden_Mystery – Do you suffer from mental illness yourself? Have you in the past? Your answer really makes me think you don’t and haven’t.

There are some things that people don’t need to know. I’m not about to wear a sign around my neck reading “Anxiety-ridden and panic-prone”.

It’s a nice thought that people shouldn’t be ashamed of their mental illness, but a lack of shame and immediate disclosure are completely different.

I am very open about my mental illness…I don’t overtly tell people at the earliest opportunity but if it crops up in conversation I will talk about it, the fact that I’m in counselling, have been on drugs, what I deal with on a day to day, weekly, monthly, yearly basis…how it affects my life and my son’s life. I think it’s important to be open so that the taboo is destroyed. We all suffer at some point and I believe some more than others…we need to help one another and we can only do that when there is the forum and freedom to express how we feel.

On the radio this morning, a psychologist was trying to explain the different kinds of bipolar disorder and what can be done about them. There’s a fairly well-known sax player who just came out as bipolar. There was a fundraiser for his medical expenses. I don’t know what the deal is with Catherine Zeta-Jones, but I guess she’s come out, too.

What’s going to happen? Will people learn that those of use with bipolar can be only mildly abnormal instead of scary sick? Or will that image of scary crazy still be the image everyone thinks of when they hear “bipolar.”

Do we have to go to all the movie producers and monitor them for how they refer to mental illness, like women’s movement folks do, or gay advocates do?

Bipolar disorder is a highly lethal condition. One day you might be ok, and then a few days later you might find yourself in a depression where you decide to kill yourself. It’s especially disappointing for someone who has been out of it for so long. On the other hand, knowing you can come out of it is powerful knowledge.

I suppose one strategy is to put up poster children—bipolar folks who are managing their disorder just fine. I think it takes great bravery to do that. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to stay well forever. If you get sick just once, people will see that and stop believing you can care for yourself. Plus there will be people who point and stare, anyway.