[NSFW] What do you think of a person who has a lot of sex with a lot of different people?

They probably want to if they’re having a lot of sex, unless they’re prostitutes or something. Maybe they’re nymphomaniacs or hypersexuals and just can’t get enough.

I don’t think that that it’s right for someone to have a lot of sexual partners, but what works for some might work for others. I know that for a woman that has a lot of sex people would think that she’s a whore, but for the guy, he’s given a pat on the shoulder and such.

Fairly or unfairly I think of the increased risk of disease.
The odds are simply not stacked in their favor.

@troubleinharlem Well, he doesn’t get that pat on the shoulder from me!

@worriedguy Yes, and it has been statistically established that a woman with multiple sex partners is at higher risk for cervica cancer.

They’re not my cup o’ tea.

I’m too old for that shit, hanging around those folks.

@CaptainHarley : Or me!
@worriedguy : Is that why you’re worried ?

People who have sex with a lot of partners either just really like sex, or they have a need for intimacy that they’re trying to attain through lots of sex (which, in my opinion, is not the right way).

It really is unfortunate that there’s a double standard for men and women. I don’t personally think that way, but many people do.

I think a big reason why people pose for photos and whatnot is because of the money. A lot of stuff like that must pay pretty well.

@troubleinharlem Nah! I’m married. Mine won’t be going places where it shouldn’t. ;-)

Not impressed nor have any thoughts on others sexual frequency! I do though think that much of what people perceive sexual frequency and or Playboy bunny image as something special or desirable. That is all IMO an image “created” to sell that image of sex, sex and more sex somehow being desirable and fulfilling.

Personally I love sex and sexual things but not to the point of sex for the sake of sex or gratuitous sex. Sex is truly an intimate expression of love between to people. Anything else IMO is selling an image or just gratuitous masturbation. To each their own I say.

I think it’s none of my business unless I’m one of their sexual partners. Then I think it’s only my business how much risk I’m at for a disease. However, if I am in a relationship with that person, then it becomes more my business.

The way I see it, if people are safe in all respects, not just safe with birth control then it’s not a problem. Sex is fun. It’s silly to avoid it simply because someone else doesn’t like that you do it a lot. I think it is something that people shouldn’t get hung up on. I mean, it’s sex. It’s a basic biological urge/function. Who cares how much you do it and with whom you do it?

Congratulations.

To each their own, not something I would want to do, too risky with all the diseases floating around. I’d be more concerned with quality rather than quantity. I’ve known people like this and let’s just say they were not my best of friends. I only think it becomes immoral if they are using manipulation to get sex (like intentionally making their partners feel like it is something more than just casual, when in fact it isn’t).

People are who they are and I can’t judge, not for that. Some people just like to have a lot of sex with different people. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, then it’s not my business. If a guy who had a lot of different women hit on me, and I knew they were always on the lookout for their next bed partner, then I’ve passed. I don’t value sex with a lot of different partners and I wouldn’t appreciate a “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” encounter.

Otherwise, their behaviour has nothing to do with me.

I think they’re searching for something they won’t find doing that . I also wonder if they have diseases. I feel sad for them, really. So many are ridiculed while they may be crying inside.

I really don’t care. If the sexual partners were all consensual, it’s no big deal to me. I’m not sure what you mean by “someone who looks like they have sex with a lot of people,” though. I’ve never thought that having a modeling job, for instance, was indicative of anything. Even nude modeling only shows comfort with one’s own body (if that). Willingness to be naked and willingness to have sex are different things.

Normally I couldn’t care less….If it involves me…I let the blood test do the deciding…

I think they have a way more interesting life than I do. Other than that it’s not up to me to say.

I feel sorry for them. Having the security and love that a long term relationship provides I know that those people are missing out. I wonder what happened in their lives to make committing such a difficult thing to do.

I really, really don’t care. It’s absolutely none of my business. Hypothetically speaking, if I were planning on sleeping with them, I would treat it as if I were sleeping with any new person. It doesn’t require multiple partners to catch something, so the degree of caution should always be the same.

Ha, internet ate my great answer. It was long. Long story short: I don’t presume anything because I need to know something else besides their having many sexual partners in order to figure out (if I even wanted to do this, which I don’t, generally) the why. Many people in the US are either repressed or obsessive about sex (hello, contradictory messages everywhere for all genders) and because it involves emotions (sometimes) and the body (which we have a complicated relationship with) and other people, nothing is black and white when it comes to sex. No theory needs to be construed, therefore, it’s kind of pointless and can’t be applied to all, anyway. And yes, the expectations in regards to the number of sexual partners are different for men and women – another idiotic consequence of gender norms. I think having a lot of partners and being open about that is unusual because as you can tell from above, people do judge and make assumptions about love (which doesn’t need to relate to sex, whatsoever) and sex work (really?) and whatever else. I am not jealous of anyone, in terms of their sex life because I can’t have a better sex life, honestly, it’s pretty amazing as it is.

My friend Stephen is a “manwhore” and we have talked about it before. The interesting thing is that now he is in a committed relationship and he is perfectly good at remaining monamorous. In fact, he found this girl because they started out as friends with benefits, but there was a point when he had several friends with benefits and he has had his share of random one-night stands. He’s attractive and quirky and apparently really convincing. But of course, as ridiculous as it is, most of his friends regard him as a “player”, but if it were a girl, she’d be a “dirty slut”. I certainly don’t think gender has any part in it and I don’t necessarily think it’s something negative, even if it isn’t the lifestyle for me. To each their own…

The people I know who have had a lot of partners have almost universally been sex addicts. It makes me sad, because I know the loneliness and poor self esteem that often leads people to seek to feel better using sex and conquest. Addicts will often engage in all kinds of risky behavior without even really thinking about it. We can get to a point where what happens to us really doesn’t matter. We’ll take a moment of high over the despair of knowing that no one really wants you.

Anyway, having seen that side of it, I always wonder about others. If they are sleeping with a lot of people, are they addicts or is it some kind of healthy recreational sex? Is it possible to have healthy recreational sex? Are the people who say yes to that question still in denial about the way they are using sex to cover over much deeper problems?

I don’t know. My instinct is to say it is a pathology. It can’t be healthy. But I don’t know.

I think that usually it’s a shameful thing. It’s interesting to me that people seem to be at pains to say they don’t judge it by saying it’s none of their business. They say they don’t care. I don’t know what to make of that. Are people trying to be liberal and non-judgmental or are they turning their eyes from the deep pain of others? Or do they not know that it can be pain that leads people to this kind of sexual behavior, not hedonism? And even if they did know it, would anyone believe it?

@wundayatta Nah, not trying to be liberal or anything, nor am I an addict (or in denial about it, lol)...it’s just about it not being the kind of big deal it can be for other people. Some people are sex addicts but I feel like that is a pretty broad label and I don’t think many people who have sex with many people are all sex addicts. Besides, someone else’s sex life is not your business. I find it hilarious how many people are talking about ‘oh they’re putting themselves at risk’ (as if they care) when all they want to say ‘oh, look at that whore, thank god I pretend I’m better’.

I’m wondering what is “a lot”? Because maybe I’ve had “a lot” of sex with “a lot” of different people. For myself, it’s because I like sex. I feel like I have a very healthy, reasonable attitude toward sex, for the record.

For other people, it’s really none of my business. I do think there is a double-standard, where girls who like sex are sluts and guys who like sex are studs, though I do also think there is an upper limit for even men, a point at which one might call him a dog, a player, a manwhore and not in a fun, joking way, but with at least a bit of disdain.

Do you wonder why they want to? No, I’m pretty sure I know why they want to.
Do you wonder how they can be successful at finding so many willing partners? Yes! And I also wonder if they have any tips for me.
Do you think having a lot of partners is highly unusual? Highly unusual? No. Unusual, yes.. I’d say most people, average have 0–15 partners, but that’s just a guess.
Deviant? It depends on them, on the whole. Maybe.
Wrong? Generally, no.
Are you jealous? Yes, I sure am!
Do you feel sorry for them? Only if it seems like they are doing it out of low self-esteem, a craving for intimacy (and inability to get it otherwise), finding themselves constantly in situations where the other person treats them like shit, that sort of thing.

I wouldn’t know if someone who has sex with a lot of different partners is in emotional pain, per se. I mean, I think the vast majority of us are trying to get through our own lives and issues, and only when someone’s behaviour either affects us personally, is Charlie Sheen-obvious or the judges/scolds are avoiding thinking about their own stuff (even if only briefly) does anyone even notice.

I was more judgemental when I was younger, but the more I realized I didn’t have the values about sex that I was raised with, the less I’ve found reason to wonder too much about other people’s doings.

I just don’t think it’s a big deal. I personally have not had many sexual partners (at all) and am now in a monogamous marriage. But, that’s not b/c I think there is anything wrong with having several partners. It’s just what is comfortable for me. I believe having several partners, few partners, open relationships or monogamous ones are all just personal choices. One is not better than another. The important thing is honesty (with oneself and one’s partner). Even asking what someone thinks about having many partners sort-of makes it seem deviant. It’s not.

How much are they charging? If you want to play, you may as well make some money out of it.

I never speculate about the sexual habits of other people.

People have sex for many reasons, consequently they would have a lot of sex for many reasons:
Lusty folk who love the act for itself and have energy [sport fuckers?]
People driven to prove themselves, in this case, by sexual conquest
People of low self esteem who can’t say no

I actually prefer not to know other people’s sexual statistics. Then I don’t have to have any opinion about it. If I am forced to know about it, then it depends on what the person is like, and how I came to know about it

@wundayatta you have been on a tear lately, with all these questions about nudity, sex, and sense of body image.
Whazzup with you?

…a person who has a lot of sex…

WHORE!

@boffin‘s not getting any.

if it’s unprotected promiscuity then the person is being an ass. Say what you will but that’s how aids got blown up out of control( spare me the experiments on monkeys story, please) or any other std. If it is protected then it is a situation of whatever floats their boat.

Like Justin Timberlake? :-) Or Tiger..

Let’s face it—if you are in the position to have that privilege where women are just throwing themselves at you, would you not?

That, plus the nature of the industry of whatever one happens to be working in.

If you mean something pathological, I wouldn’t see any difference between sex addiction or food addiction or other forms of addiction.

I usually think, A) “Good for them” or B) “Ain’t none of my goddamn business”

I agree with @Simone. Unless your sleeping with them, your concerns about their mental health, use of protection or disease status is simply a polite cover-up. It gives you a way to discuss someone’s sex life publicly without having to say ‘whore’ – but you’re likely thinking it (or something similar).

I say, take a page from @YARNLADY on this one.

I think they (both men and women) have poor judgement skills regarding what’s best for emotional and physical well-being.

@Facade

No doubt! : )

Meh. It doesn’t bother me, though I do tend to be a little preachy about safer sex. Yes, you can get STI’s even when you use a condom. Yes, oral sex can give you chlamydia. Other than the health considerations, I don’t really try to get in the heads of other people and preach to them about their sexual behavior. People enjoy sex. It is an intimate and pleasurable experience, to say the least. Sure, some people probably have multiple partners for all the wrong reasons, but at the end of the day, if two consenting adults choose to have sex without becoming emotionally attached, and they are limiting their exposure to STI’s then more power to them. There is a very strong influence in societies that dictates that monogamy is the only way to go, but this is a meaningless value. Sure, monogamy is conducive to stable relationships and stable families and thus stable societies, but as long as there is consent and no one is being hurt, physically or emotionally, I don’t see a thing wrong with it.

The first thought is, ooh, high cootie risk. If it’s not a person I’m interested in or in my immediate circle of friends then I don’t think too much on it.

I don’t think we can and should generalise about something like this…people sleep with people for many reasons and I find @boffin‘s statement rather prejudiced to say the least.

As with any fact about our lives…we all have a story that led us to that point and sometimes people need to show a little compassion. Personally I would ask: If you have had a lot of partners/ slept with many people… how do you feel about it? That tells us more. It’s not place to judge.

@iamthemob
@nebule
Me think thou protests to much…..

@boffin me thoughteth you would say that ;-)

@boffin I agree with them, and I haven’t protested at all—let alone, too much.

Sex sells and beautiful women know they can sell things by using their bodies for promotion. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are having more sex and are more promiscuous. I’m sure they tend to have more opportunities to have sex.
I don’t wonder why people who have a lot of different partners do it. They could have all kinds of reasons to do it. Maybe they have a high sex drive and really enjoy sex, maybe they’re lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places, maybe they (esp women) “give out” because they feel it’s expected of them and they don’t know how to say no. I don’t judge them or demean them for it. I do worry about young girls who have poor judgement when it comes to men. I hear Joni Mitchell in my head now singing “all those prettty lies, such pretty lies, when you going to realize they’re only pretty lies, only pretty lies, just pretty lies”

There’s more pleasure but maybe less longterm deep satisfaction with life. But it’s an individual choice. As long as no one gets hurt we should make no judgment.

First off, I would simply say to make assumptions about how much sex a person is having based strictly on how they look is stupid at best. Not all of the beautiful people are having tons of partners. And many wholly unattractive people are doing it every night with someone new! How much is too much? Who’s to make that judgment? It only takes one partner to get pregnant, to spread disease, or to get caught cheating. And some people who have hundreds of different sexual partners avoid pregnancy, disease, and getting caught for years without so much as the first condom.
I believe as a society, we are all to quick to throw a label like ‘sex addict’ on someone who simply enjoys their sexuality and isn’t afraid to express it. Committment and marriage is not for everyone and to say because a person looks to have sex frequently that that makes them less a person or not as good a person as someone happily married who has sex with the same partner night after night is just wrong in my opinion. In my experience, it is usually (not always, mind you) people who have been raised in a stringently religious home who have such inhibitions about sexuality and the wrongness of multiple partners. JMHO you understand.

What do people think sex addiction is, anyway?

I think that person has a lot of sex with a lot of different people. Why should it matter to me? Since when has it been any of my business?