Why won't hostesses clear lingering customers at tables in order to seat new ones?

Because….they would piss the people off and they wouldn’t leave a tip and they wouldn’t come back and they’d bad mouth the place to all their friends. It’s not just you that doesn’t like it. The restaurant people don’t like it because the more “tables they turn” the more money that comes in for both the restaurant and the waitress. I know what you’re saying, though…something to keep in mind the next time you’re at a busy restaurant. Make sure you’re not the lingerer!

Once we needed a place to talk with some friends who were going through a heartbreaking problem with their daughter (they had to put her in a mental institution). We ended up at a Chinese place, and sat there for hours. Fortunately there were lots of extra tables, but the wait staff still gave us lots of dirty looks. After my friends left, I approached the manager and slipped her a tip, and explained the problem, and thanked her for leaving us alone.

Only in America…

In Europe it is the custom to linger over a meal. The meal itself, in fact, takes longer to serve because it’s served with longer pauses between courses. And then the diners often have an after dinner drink or coffee (or several), and the host wouldn’t dream of presenting the bill until the diners signal for it. It just isn’t done.

Many Europeans visiting the US for the first time are astonished at the rapid pace of the serving, and feel it is almost inexcusably rude for the server to present the bill… without having been asked for it. They soon learn that we do meals at a somewhat different pace, and the presentation of the bill is not ‘rude’, just ‘unfamiliar’ at first.

What you’re suggesting would be rude: “We’ve made our money off you guys, and we’re happy to have you hang around, but we really gotta turn this table.” No. The restaurant that does that will not be around long.

Great answer, as always, @WasCy. My husband and I get a chance to go out without the children maybe once or twice a year. Why would we want to rush during our only chance to enjoy a meal made by someone else? I would be offended if we were asked to hurry, and would not return. This has happened to us once and we have no plans on returning to that restaurant.

I don’t find it rude at all if we are paying for a meal and plan on leaving a decent tip.

I was told by a tour guide on my first trip to Europe, decades ago: “In France you’re not just ordering a glass of wine, you’re renting a table. Stay as long as you like.” What a concept.

In the U.S. I have had a server come to the table three or four times after we’ve finished our meal, but are still sipping our tea or dawdling over the last of the wine, to ask pointedly, “Will there be anything else?” and, when I’m with a friend, “Can I get you anything else, ladies?”—even when three-quarters of the tables are empty. We didn’t just spend $100 in order to eat and run, folks.

I wonder what if resteraunts ever tried offering “campers” (As my daughter who used to be a waitress calls them) a free drink in the bar when there is a long line of waiting dinner customers.

Because it would ruin the customer’s dining experience. You have to flip it around and feel how you would feel if you were given the bum’s rush.

It is considered rude and innappropriate for a server to ask customers to hurry up and leave or move. In fact it is bad etiquette for a waitperson to bring your check before being asked for it. The customer decides when they themselves are done, and when they are ready for the check.

Now, having said all of that, I find it incredibly rude when customers don’t give a shit about a line of people waiting to be seated, or that the waiter will most likely miss bigger tips, because a party sat at one of their tables for an extended period of time (hopefully the people taking up space for an extended period, tip appropriately for spending so much time).

Also, there is a variation depending on the level of dining. Fine dining would never ask you to get up. Denny’s will give you your check way before you ask for it. The moderate chains fall somewhere in-between.

Mexico is the same way as @WasCy‘s description of Europe. When people go out, they are out for hours, and so you can sit for hours after eating, no problem.

People in this country usually eat and run fast enough without having to be asked to leave sooner. I feel when it is your turn to dine, you should take as long as you want to take in order to eat and chat and enjoy yourselves. You are paying, you should not rush.

Once I went out and we were waiting for a table. The people were sitting and chatting and I found it annoying. The owner had us sit at the bar and bought us a drink. That was a nice gesture and helped! That was a small restaurant where we could see the diners. That was also about 25 years ago when I was young and foolish.

Usually the waiting area is not near the dining area so we have no way of knowing who is taking their time. Now (now that i’m more mature) I understand that people are entitled to take their time and enjoy themselves. If I, as the waiting party, do not want to wait, I can leave and go elsewhere.

That would piss off customers and pretty much kill the restaurant. It seems to be the popular thing today to disrespect costumers even though they are spending their hard earned cash at their establishment.

I say for you to go somewhere else or only go to restaurants with a reservation system. I go out once in a blue moon and am going to savor every moment. If a restaurant I picked had a long wait, I’d go elsewhere.

I’m always irritated when I have to wait, but it wouldn’t occur to me in a million years to ask a waitress to push people away from a table. That would be incredibly rude. It’s even rude just to give dirty looks to people at a table. If they notice, it probably makes them feel bad and also feel like they should take longer just because you are being so rude.

Sit down in the waiting area or at the bar. Have a drink. Chill out. You’re gonna give yourself a short life it you keep on letting little shit like that ruin your day.

Yep, it’s rude. As a hostess I offended a table just by glancing their way and saying to some people waiting, “It should be just a couple minutes.”

You can hint by asking if they’re sure they don’t want dessert or coffee or another drink or something, but it’s just bad service to ask them to leave.

I am surprised at the amount of responders that think people should feel just fine about lingering around in a busy restaurant! It is absolutely rude to linger at a table when others are waiting to be seated. I’m not talking about taking your time and 5–10 extra minutes to chit chat. I’m talking about the people who sit for 30 minutes or more after they have paid. During a slow part of the day, fine. But when it is busy it is just rude to make hungry people wait for a table. For the people who commented on specific countries and their customs, I am talking about the US specifically. The only time I’ve seen a hostess actually tell a lingering party that they had a very long waiting list, the people were very apologetic and quickly gathered their things. Their courteousness is what I would hope everyone would have!

@BBSDTfamily, are you talking about a family-friendly chain restaurant where the main point is to get fed and efficiency is prized, you can go in T-shirt and jeans, and your entrees might run you $8 to $12, or are you talking about the kind of place where you’d pay more than that for an appetizer, your tab per person is apt to be in the $40—$50 range (or more) even without beverages, there’s a higher standard of dress, and the atmosphere, ambience, and quality of service are part of the package you’re paying for?

Earlier I wrote that fine dining is not going to hurry you along typically while more moderate restaurants might. One of the big differences is fine dining takes reservations and there is not usually people waiting an hour like at Cheesecake Factory or Chili’s.

@BBSDTfamily It is golden rule. I obviously agree with you, as you can see by my first answer. The customer should be more aware of his surroundings and get up and out when they are done eating. They would want the same done for them when they are waiting for a table, or if they were the waiter. I think it is awful the waiter has to ask sometimes for the people to leave.

Perhaps it is a cultural thing because I would be very offended if I was rushed to finish my dining experience because the restaurant wanted the table. I don’t go to franchise type restaurants though and if I go out for dinner it isn’t just about eating – it is about a dining experience and that includes savouring the food – wine – environment and definitely the company. Sorry – the comma key has stopped working.

I put this question to my daughter and she feels the same as me. If there is such a lineup, why wouldn’t you just go up the road?

If I go into a restaurant and there’s a long wait I just go somewhere else instead. Or if I’m in no hurry I sit at the bar and have a drink while I wait. No-one would ever dream of shooing customers away before they’re ready to leave and if anyone did that to me then I would never set foot in that restaurant ever again.

The only places in the UK where it’s acceptable and understandable are places that have an all-you-can-eat buffet. It will specify right from the start that you have a limited amount of time, usually an hour and a half, and if you want to stay longer you will have to pay for another round.

I know it is rude and I have hurried my party along more than a few times. My in-laws are particularly bad about it and it embarrasses me. Especially since we are usually a large group taking up at least two tables. I tip extra when that happens, but the server won’t know that until we leave so I understand their irritation. I probably would not tip extra if the server became rude about it or asked us to leave.

I would find it very rude to be asked to hurry along. I would also not want to go to a restaurant that asked the people ahead of me to hurry up so I could have their table. I get that some people feel they shouldn’t have to wait to get their food, but honestly, it’s not my fault you came to a restaurant at the busiest part of the day and don’t want to wait for a table. We specifically don’t go out during the busy dinner rush when we don’t want to wait (we’ll either go earlier or later). If we are in the mood where we don’t mind waiting, we go and wait for our turn and the thought never crossed my mind that the hostess or waitress should tell other people to hurry up because there are people waiting.

I was a waitress when I was younger and the thought never even crossed my mind then either. Honestly, when a table was pretty much done and just chatted, it gave me a bit of a break, especially during the busy rushes. It was actually nice to just check on them from time to time and get them refills if they needed it compared to having all my tables full with people that were just getting seated and ready to order and eat. I never thought of those tables as costing me extra tips.

@Jeruba The restaurants I had in mind were $15—$20/meal places like Chili’s/Olive Garden but are locally owned places here in my town. I definitely see your point that it depends on the atmosphere and pricing. I would never expect someone to hint to me that there are other people waiting when I had paid $30+ per meal at a nicer restaurant or even at a bar atmosphere where there is a band for entertainment, so lingering would be expected. I didn’t consider this before, but maybe those $15—$20 meal restaurants are what some other people consider “nicer restaurants”. And again, I am talking about instances where people sit and chat and linger for 30 minutes or more.

I have waited on a particular table (the one big enough to hold our party) for an hour just because the customers there were sitting around chatting. When we got there, we were told that the table had just paid and it would be about 10 minutes. They could see us waiting (their table was by the entrance) but just kept on chatting away. I think that’s rude, and I would never do that do another customer! There are other places to go chat, so let someone else sit down and eat their meal.

@BBSDTfamily No offense, but there are also other places you can go to eat as well. Why does your desire to eat outweigh their desire to have a good conversation with family/friends? How do you know the family that was sitting at the table knew you were waiting for them to get up so you could eat? They most likely had no clue how many people were in your party or that you were waiting for that exact table. Assuming they knew you were waiting on them will cause more anger and hurt feelings on your part than anything else.

@Seaofclouds I know that they knew because we were a group of 8 that stood around for an hour just a few feet from their table and they gave us several glances. There are other places to eat but almost every restaurant has this same policy so if it is a busy time of the night you could run into this situation almost anywhere. My desire to eat doesn’t outweigh their desire to have a conversation, however I have to sit at a table to eat and they can go elsewhere to continue their conversation.

@BBSDTfamily You think they knew because they looked at you, but that doesn’t really mean they knew (playing devils advocate here). You do have to sit, but do you all have to sit at one table and do you have to sit at that restaurant? I get that you want to sit and eat together, just as this other group did. It’s really not their fault though that you got there after them. To me, it just seems that expecting someone else to move out of your way because you want them to, is rude and comes off with a sense of entitlement (like you are entitled to their table just because they have already finished their food). Food alone doesn’t always make the meal for some people and for people that don’t go out regularly, they may get more out of the experience as a whole than just eating what they ordered.

Sometimes when I’m out with friends we stay a long time because leaving means ending the evening, as we all go to separate places. Trying to relocate the entire group for the convenience of strangers is not even an issue for us. The people already seated and established take precedence over those waiting, they have the option to go somewhere else before starting their evening. If this becomes too much of an irritation, have your gatherings in someone’s home.
Like @Seaofclouds , I have also been a waitress, and I never saw anyone stay long enough to disrupt the overall business of the restaurant, and it is a nice little break to just refill stuff at a table, sometimes.

@Seaofclouds Yes they knew we were waiting. Like I said, they were right by the entrance (within earshot) and probably heard us asking several times when we would be seated and saw the hostess point at their table several times. My question was why wouldn’t the restaurant want to move tables. I don’t think I’m entitled to someone’s table, I just think they are rude as hell if they don’t get up when people are waiting. I choose not to be rude like that so I hurry along at restaurants if I’m taking up one of the few large tables and other large parties are waiting. If you and everyone else who stated they don’t mind lingering want to take your time go ahead. Be rude.

@BBSDTfamily The thing is it is rude for the restaurant to ask the people to move. There lies the rub.

@BBSDTfamily ; Maybe they saw you, maybe they heard you, maybe they weren’t registering it because maybe they think it’s rude to eavesdrop on other peoples’ conversations. I think it’s a shame that you are so distressed by this, I would think you might simply go to a different restaurant, or speak to the manager ahead of time (a few days) and make arrangements. Many places that don’t normally do that will make exceptions for larger parties sometimes. Your anger is misdirected at strangers who don’t do what you want them to.

@BBSDTfamily The restaurant could not put together two 4-top tables for your party?

@JilltheTooth My anger? My distress? I just think it’s rude and usually I do leave the restaurant depending on the situation… definitely wouldn’t say it distresses me.

@JLeslie I would’ve thought they could too, but we weren’t offered that :(

@BBSDTfamily It sounds like you get to go out fairly often if you are this upset. Have you ever thought that some of these people rarely get a chance to eat out, like my husband and I?

We once took our daughter to a swimming/birthday party at a hotel, 20 miles from our home, during the month of January. We decided to get a bite to eat at the restaurant next door to the hotel while our daughter was at the party. A couple came in to the restaurant while we were finishing our meal, and they were waiting to be seated. We still had 30 minutes to kill before the party was over, so we decided to have a drink and enjoy this time together, which we rarely get to do. This couple gave us dirty looks the entire 30 minutes. It ruined the time I had with my husband. Where were my husband and I supposed to go? Aren’t we allowed to enjoy a meal and conversation, especially if we are paying good money for it?

If I had to wait, I would wait patiently or find another restaurant. It’s not the end of the world, but those dirty looks sure can ruin a nice, once in a blue moon outing for some people.

@jonsblond I do eat out very often, but that almost means that very often I make sure not to linger around if people are waiting. If I had been you and your husband, I would have moved to the bar area or another establishment around the area. Sorry, I just think someone who is hungry and waiting to be seated needs to sit at a table more than someone who just wants to sit and talk. The very worst is when a party of 2–3 is at a table for 6 or more and don’t offer to at least move to a smaller table when they’re finished so someone can sit down. I guess the reason it blows my mind that some customers who are finished eating can’t be more courteous is because I am always courteous about that situation. I understand the desire to sit around and talk. I’ve cut my conversations short in order to get up and move along for other parties. So I knwo it’s not always exactly what you want, but it is the nice thing to do.

@BBSDTfamily We would be wasting gas, money and time by going to another establishment for just a few minutes, and the bar area is not what my husband and I paid for. We paid for the table which is more cozy. I just don’t see how it is rude. I do think it is very kind of you for giving up your table, but I would never expect this of you or anyone else. I would expect you to enjoy your time because you paid for it. All I ask is for the same courtesy.

I have a friend with whom I go out to dinner once a year and another that I see the same way about four times a year. We choose a nice restaurant, which is a serious luxury on our respective budgets, and we expect to linger because this is our only in-person visiting time. The reason we don’t continue our visit elsewhere has no relevance. There is no reason on earth why someone who has not paid for that table should get it in preference to someone who has.

@BBSDTfamily : I’m not sure why you expect people to extend you the courtesy of leaving, when you’re not willing to extend them the courtesy of letting them linger when they are enjoying themselves..

And it does not deprive anyone of the opportunity to eat. It only delays their opportunity to eat at that table. It’s not as if you were being barred from service or denied access to food. As long as food is readily available elsewhere nearby, I see it as no infringement of anyone’s rights.

@BBSDTfamily I think the restaurant could have asked the table if they planned on staying long, because they are trying to estimate whether to use two 4 top tables to accomodate another party. They can word it in a way as to not rush them, just get information. The restaurant did not want to sit you somewhere else, because they were trying to optimize, because if they seat you at two for tops and the wind up with only 6 at the large table, it might mean less money for that waitress. Or, less money for the waitress who waits for two tables to be empty to push together, and a longer wait for a few parties of 4 or 2.

In the end the restaurant should have felt more pressure in accomodating you I think. Especially if your wait was much much longer than others with smaller parties. I actually lean towards they just should have sat you at different tables, even if they had to split you up, if you were willing to split, and let the other customers take their time and enjoy their meal. Sometimes it is one of the few times people get together and want to linger, as people pointed out above. When I know I am going to spend a really long lunch or dinner, I usually schedule it late, so I don’t feel the pressure of a full dining room.