What is the coolest redneck idea you've ever come up with?

Punkin Chunkin, or are you just looking for things that are more in the Redneck household hints category?

I have flannel shirts with the sleeves cut off. Is that redneck enough for ya.

In the summertime about 11 years ago, my friends and I got a little tipsy and covered the back cab of one of my friends’ truck with a tarp. We then filled it with water from the hose, and got in our swimsuits and, BAM! Instant mini-pool! Sipping on brews and soaking in the sun!

The David Bowie vs. Redneck look is sexy.

Oh god… I’m the wrong person to ask this question…

Despite my sophisticated demeanor and my refined exterior, I am in fact, a huge redneck on the inside. This is best exemplified by the time I ignited a 50 square foot bonfire by covering the wood in diesel fuel and igniting it from a distance with a flare pistol.

Or the time I set up 3 plastic 55 gallon drums like bowling pins at the end of a field and plowed into them with some old busted pickup truck at full speed.

Or the time I threw a full can of ant spray into a campfire and it exploded and launched like a rocket into the night.

Or the time I stuffed a metal toy pirate gun filled with powder from fireworks, crammed a big metal bolt in the barrel, and set it off with a fuse (the bolt flew 30 feet and punched a nice hole in the hickory door of the machine shop).

Or the time I was chased around a swimming pool by an angry chicken in my underwear.

Or….

Let’s see. Our dryer broke down in the winter once, so I came up with this cool idea of hanging the clothes on the ceiling fans and ran the fan on low speed. It worked for some time until the motor burned out on the fan. It seemed cool at the moment. ;)

We had a redneck circus one night. Most of the girls were topless on the roof of the house throwing grapes at the boys who took turns jumping from the roof of the tool shed onto a flaming mattress suspended between two picnic tables. And other girls were using the boat parked in the middle of the back yard as a stage. And there were three kegs (all were floated) and two live bands. The cops loved us that night! One, who was used to coming by when we got too loud actually gave us “points for originality” before he left smiling.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard You let your chicken wear your underwear? Boy, that is redneck!

I married one. So now I do everything in my power to squash whatever tiny inner redneck I may have. One redneck per family is plenty. ;)

I am SO glad I asked this question! I’m yelling out these answers to my husband (we’re trying to watch “Secretariat!” and he’s getting more interested in this than the movie!

@lillycoyote Punkin’ chunkin’...hey man! Did you steal that from a Wisdm post???? My husband’s company participates in that…they make compressors and the guy who they sponsor (Ray, one of the company’s employees,) has a chunker named “Second Amendment Two,” and he’s won several championships with the Kaeser compressor on his gun. FYI, if your pumpkin “pies” upon firing, you lose. When a pumpkin “pies” it blows up when it leaves the barrel (this bit of trivia from my husband who’s watching me type this.) I guess Ray was one of the founders of Punkin Chunkin. Also, FYI, Rick brought the name of the website home from one of his first a work meetings in 07. And from there, in a universe long, long ago and far away, I used it to kick Balmung of the Azure Sky’s buttocks in the famous battle for the Nation of Yuchenntation AND that battle was instrumental in Balmung knighting me as “Dutchess,” from my original name of Dutch Cat. AND….I have him on Facebook. I’m bringing him in here because I don’t think we’re done with the battle, only now it will be for the nation of…Fluteration. Or something.

Keep it comin’ guys! I made a port-a-potty from a 10 gallon, orange Rubbermaid water cooler, like the kind the construction guys carry around on their cars. I cut the bottom off, and now, when we go camping, I dig a hole in the ground, set my potty on the hole and Viola! No more poison ivy and Lord only knows what on my tenders! Dunk it in the lake to clean it before we pack up! It is certainly a thing of beauty that only a women who has primitive camped for more than four days without one could understand!

@lillycoyote, yep. I let it eat off my Jeff Gordon collector plates when it behaves too!

What do Cajun underwear look like @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard?

@Dutchess_III, crawdads. Lots of them.

That sounds painful. ^

They don’t pinch that hard.

When I need rednecky ideas, I just watch the Red Green show.

@Dutchess_III I beg your pardon? I did not steal any Punkin Chunkin post. I’m a Delawarean and Punkin Chunkin was invented in Delaware, by Delaware rednecks, (Sussex County rednecks, specifically, the county where we keep almost all of our rednecks), in 1986. Please check out the following links:

here

and

here

and maybe educate yourself a little, eh?

A Delawarean cannot steal Punkin Chunkin from anyone, people can only steal it from us. So there, Dutchess, so there!!!

@lillycoyote Chuckin is really popular in Morton, IL. Morton is the Pumpkin Capitol of the world, home of Libby’s. You wouldn’t have those pumpkins without us. :P It is fun to watch!

@Dutchess_III You’d probably like the Redneck Fishing Tournament held along the Illinois River here in central Illinois. Asian carp have become a nuisance, so they came up with this tournament to get rid of the buggers. no fishing poles allowed, they catch them with nets

@jonsblond You may and can call it Chuckin where you are but around here we call it Chunkin and we’re right. :-)

@lillycoyote I blame the typo on the beer I’ve been drinkin’. It’s Old Milwaukee. Is that redneck enough? :D

made a crapper with a 5 gallon bucket when the real crapper wasn’t in order. It had a wooden seat with radius edges so we wouldn’t hurt our cheeks. A piano hinge joined the lid. It worked a treat. One problem was it was tippy so we had to watch our dissent or we would’ve had a mess to clean up.

@jonsblond Don’t try to blame that one on the beer, young lady. That was no typo. Chuckin is what ya’ll call it out there in Morton, and you’re wrong. We do appreciate the pumpkins though, and that you love drinking lots of beer and hurling pumpkins through the air using machines that are very often both magnificent and ridiculous and sometimes, well, sometimes just epic fails.

Well, yes’m Lilly! Ma’am! Yess’m! Yes. You win. Come claim your prize! AND you have won….a BRAND NEW DOG!!! Enjoy!

@Dutchess_III Very, very cute, it just looks like, well, that there might be a lot of doggie dentist bills in that dog’s future.

@lillycoyote Oh snap. You’re good.

Wouldn’t chunking have nothing to do with throwing and more to do with breaking a pumpkin up into, well, chunks?

@faye Yes, I was going to mention that to @jonsblond, that “Chuckin” actually makes more sense but, the fact that calling it “Chuckin” may make more sense is completely irrelevant in this circumstance. “Chunkin” is right and “Chuckin” is wrong. That’s just the way it is. Delawareans invented Chunkin, we call it Chunkin, and so Chunkin is what it is and should be called. That is simply that.

I’m a Jew. I don’t do redneck.

@Rarebear LOL. Only thing is, well, I knew a Jew who didn’t do redneck either but he had kind of a redneck girlfriend; when I lived in Texas. I’m a gentile but it did seem like Texas was, at the very least, an interesting place to be a Jew and made for very strange bedfellows sometimes.

Very cute couple.

@lillycoyote I bow to the Delawareans!

@lillycoyote I didn’t know Jews were allowed in Texas.

@faye There are fewer than 900,000 people in the state of Delaware, so bowing to us won’t take anywhere near as long or be anywhere near as much work as bowing to @jonsblond‘s people, the people of Illinois. There are at least 13,000,000 of them! Consider yourself lucky if you only have to bow to us, I think.

@lillycoyote, smiling!

Redneck fish catcher: a quarter stick of dynamite.

I misquoted the device. It’s a redneck fish finder. Must be the redneck in me showing.

Aw comon @Rarebear No redneck surgery? No nothing?

@Dutchess_III Well I did operate on this guy once who wanted to make sure I didn’t disturb his naked lady tattoo.

LOL! Well, did you turn it into something else?

Wait…I thought of something else….you MUST be a redneck Bear. I mean you guys name all of your bars the SAME thing. If that isn’t redneck (and very confusing) I don’t know what is!

Mandatory mass sterilization.

This is a funny story. I didn’t grow up in the mainland U.S.A. and I had no clue. I was 15 and I was visiting some relatives in the sticks of Northern California (it was also the mid-90’s). My cousin recently starting dating her old fling from high school. None of my family are rednecks, and most are european. He was a total redneck. In fact, they got back together because his wife told him she was leaving him for her girl best friend on a talk show (how redneck is that?). Anyways, he was a total sweetie, and he could tell I was memorized and baffled by his redneck ways. He would crack jokes, trying to convince me he ate squirrel, and stuff like that. Even if he was lying. I’d believe him and he’d laugh. Well now him and my cousin are married and they go and shot stuff for fun. At least they’re happy. I can’t judge.

Um….lots of folks do eat squirrel @deja_vu!

@Deja_vu Yea, squirrel is a hell of a lot better than most of the meat in supermarkets.

Oops, I just gave myself away. :P

I’ve never had squirrid, @incendiary_dan. Is it any good? When my husband was a kid they had a cabin on the river where they’d go some weekends. The boys would go out in the morning and shoot up a mess of squirrids for mom to fry for breakfast…but I’ll stick with Cheerios, thank you.

Kinda like a cross between chicken and pork. And of course, it’s free range. :)

I prefer to braise them and make tacos. But that might be because I’ve been on a huge kick for authentic tacos lately.

I have named all the squirrids in my back yard so I can’t very well kill them….but I’ll think on it.

While we’re on the subject of redneck ideas, my son and his girlfriend and two little ones came by. The kids were eating all kinds of stuff, crackers and mildly hot cheese sauce. I thought the smallest little guy might be thirsty….but I couldn’t find a sippy cup. Those have become pretty scarce in my house and when I do manage to snag one, it disappears with the next visit! In the past I’ve used empty yogurt cups with a hole cut in the lid for a straw. Didn’t have any of those either. So, Plan C

Also, Redneck Jr. Recliner

You can’t fault rednecks for creativity, ingenuity, or having fun, that’s for sure.

Got dat right, @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard! We cause ourselves to giggle helplessly!

I was playing outside with my daughter the other evening and what we were doing made me think of this question. I’ve been meaning to buy a net for volleyball and badminton but haven’t gotten around to it. Winter weather just doesn’t want to depart our region :( When we finished playing basketball I decided we could use the clothesline as an imaginary net for volleyball. It’s a little taller than a volleyball net, but it worked. Clothesline volleyball. We had a fun redneck time! ;)

You should have hung dead ducks off of it to make it REALLY redneck!!

I don’t know if it’s really redneck, but we often played badminton in the road while camping.