Do you think cold showers for a child are abuse?

lol, that’s great

@Meego seriously, I wish there had been a warning on that video. I believe in discipling children, perhaps maybe even harsher than some people, but that really bothered me. That little fellow was so upset. Now I want to cry. I think the cold shower was really beyond discipline. I dunno.

I don’t think it’s abuse, but it’s not good parenting.

Yes it is.

If you want to discipline your child should spank them. One swat on the behind for every year they are old.

It’s simple, effective, and, unfortunately, it’s been vilified by a bunch of folks who got spanked as kids and now scream child abuse whenever they hear about it.

If that’s how it feels to the child, it is. I am a better parent than that – my kids don’t need to be put through any physical punishment in order to behave.

yes,it is child abuse! Of course it is! Poor little boy.If a police ever watches that video he should tottaly find,and arrest that parent! WARNING:never ever do that to a kid- Or i will become a police and arrest whoever does it! whenever,whoever baby!

It is abuse.
I feel pretty bad for that little boy and wish I could just scoop him up.

It sure looks like abuse to me. It also seemed totally useless. The little boy has obviously broken these rules before because when his mom asks him, he knows exactly what his punishment will be. He also knows that lying is going to add to his punishment, but he did that too. I continue to believe that logical consequences are the best way to punish children.

Oh my goodness! That almost had me in tears. That woman’s a psycho!
I believe in slight punishment, but not that harsh. Why not three good wacks on the butt? I mean I don’t like hitting children period. She needs help and that kid needs to be taken away. Also, the daughter just recorded it? Sheesh!

Yes, it is abuse.

I found the video disturbing.

It is certainly wrong. His crying in the shower hurt my heart.

That is total abuse and uncalled for. I shudder to think what her parents did to her. DCFS should pay her a visit.

I do feel that both the hot sauce and the cold shower were abuse. When I heard that little boy screaming in the cold shower I started crying for him. I mean, it was for pulling freaking cards in school. My son’s had the same card system in school for years and every teacher has told me that the card system is just used as a guide so that parents can reinforce the school rules. It certainly isn’t meant for all that. Yes, lying is bad and being bad in school is bad, but that was beyond called for.

On a related note, after doing more research because I couldn’t let it stop with just that clip, I did find that the mom was indeed charged with child abuse (source) and she was pleading not guilty. According to what I’ve read, the children are all still in her home. I’ll be following this to see what happens.

I’d call that a cunt and she needs her tubes tied.

@Vunessuh Unfortunately having her tubes tied wouldn’t help. The 7-year-old in the video was adopted from Russia with his twin brother when they were 5. :(

Fine, decapitation will do.

I couldn’t even watch the whole video, it made me want to cry…ugh..I would never do this to my siblings…nothing they do could ever make me want to do such a thing to them. I don’t spoil my sisters at all, and when they get smart mouth or do something wrong, I take their toys away..and they’re so behaved I RARELY have to do that. Poor little boy, I’d adopt him in a heart beat if I could.

It’s abuse. It’s not discipline or even punishment; she’s torturing the child.

Tragic for this child. I can only imagine him going back to school and acting even worse. And more hot sauce and cold showers will ensue. And when those begin to fail, then what? Hot irons? Punishing children in this way is useless, and only leads to much worse problems. Interesting that it was her daughter that took this film—she must have gotten the treatment as well….and now is documenting it for posterity. Scary, that the mom seemed like she believed what she was doing would actually teach the child something—and I guess it does—how to terrify and mistreat others smaller than yourself.

@bkcunningham It is a very sad video, but they did show it on daytime television and that ladies daughter was the one who taped it.

I believe it is abuse I don’t believe in spanking my own mother used to try that and instilled the fear of god in me and only made me want to run away more. But this little guy is like what all of 6? The father is in the military and learned the cold shower thing from there, they could of chose a less intrusive method, maybe holding his shoes on his hands in the air for a few minutes that’s a military punishment and much less intrusive psychologically I don’t want to give any ideas though and well I hate to say but little boys/kids are not allowed in the military and neither should the military punishment style be allowed on little boys/kids who are not allowed in the military…there’s a reason for the age limit thing I would assume.

So I think the hot sauce is totally useless because if you do it enough you can get used to its hotness, although I don’t really have a clue to that.

Every thing she is doing here is negative reinforcement which does not always work not to mention the trust barrier and bond she breaking between herself and the child…the most important ingredient.

I just cant figure out why she would of done this and it made me cry and I needed everyone else to know what a BIOTCH of a mother this lady really was, and lets hope she has to serve a lot of time for this.

That is not abuse, parents should be able to discipline their kids. going over bored is abuse. but there is nothing wrong with a spankin

@appletea1991 (and everyone else that doesn’t think it’s abuse) Do you really consider making a child sit with hot sauce in his mouth for an extended period of time before being allowed to spit it out is disciplining a child? Have you ever sat with hot sauce just sitting on your tongue with your mouth shut, unable to swallow it or spit it out? If not, why not experiment with it and see what kind of reaction your body has to it. Then imagine doing it when you were 7-years-old.

Do you really think making a child to strip down and then forcing them to stand in a cold shower for an extended period of time is disciplining them? I agree that there is nothing wrong with a spanking, but I disagree completely that what we see in this video is not abuse.

@Seaofclouds- Seriously. Totally agree with you.

The video is used to train interrogators at Guantanamo.

no. man up.

well now I dread watching it because I feel like i am going to be traumatized just seeing it…..

Well I feel that parents should be able to punish their kids when they do something bad. Because if they don’t then the world will when the kid gets older, and yes they will do more to them then just put them in a cold shower. Personally I would not do this to my kids or anyone in fact, I do think it is a bit out there. But abuse? idk. Obviously this lady had a social worker that dealt with that. Hopefully they gave this lady and boy the proper attention they needed.

To the people who don’t think of it as abuse: Do you have children? Can you envision treating your children this way? Do you think hearing your child’s screams would not haunt you?

I just watched it. What a sick, sadistic bitch that mother is. How someone could yell at their kid while the kid has hot sauce in his mouth, and she continues to yell in his face, and then throw him in the shower, hear his screams and still keep him there is beyond me. she should receive the same treatment and see how she likes it. Maybe she did receive the same treatment and she therefore thinks it’s acceptable.

@appletea1991 Parents should be able to discipline/punish their children. I don’t think anyone here would disagree with that. But, what this lady did is beyond disciplining/punishing her child. There is a line between discipline/punishment and abuse, and she clearly has crossed it.

@Seaofclouds I can see what you mean, like i said I would not do anything like that. Personally taking something like a video game, toy, play time ect is enough discipline for a kid in my book or even just a simple time out or a swap on the butt is enough. Hot sauce and a cold shower is kinda creepy if you ask me, but with a family like this having a social worker probably would not be a bad idea.

Ok.. the word abuse is being thrown around alot. Let me tell you from someone who had such experiences as a child.
I was a good kid ..a very quiet, docile and shy kid. I had a very mean step mother which I lived with from about the age of 7 to 14 years old. My regular punishments included:
—cold showers
—tubs full of hot water
—hot sauce in the mouth
—having my body scrubbed raw
—spankings from wooden spoons (so hard that they often broke)
—bar of soap mashed in my teeth
—liquid dishsoap down my throat
—being dragged across the room by my hair
—punched, kicked, shoved down stairs.. etc.
.... the list gets much worse but I’m not going into that.

I never talked back… I never lied or stole anything. I was good. But my step mother was mentally unstable and she would blame me for anything and everything. And forget about crying or screaming because that made her punish you even worse.

What did these punishments do to me? You know, just her threats and insults were enough to instill the fear of death in me (and leave me with severe emotional scarring). There was no need for these physical punishments. I remember the pain of the cold showers…the numbness of my body afterwards. I remember the burning itch on my skin after the hot baths and scrub downs. The taste and illness of vomitting up soap and hot sauce. To this day….my scalp is overly sensitive.
You know what I don’t remember? Most of the reasons why these punishments happened. It taught me nothing but to be afraid of her. There were no life lessons there.

I have physical scars on my body from that woman.

This is much more severe than a mere spanking on the bottom.

And some of you wonder if that was abuse? Are you kidding me? You know how much psychological counselling I’ve been through? I’ve had so much counselling, I am way more qualified to be one myself than most counsellors out there.

There is absolutely NO reason anyone should ever do these things to a child. As they are just that, children. We are adults ..bigger/stronger and, supposedly, smarter.

@PluckyDog I am so sorry you had to go through this as a child, I don’t think any child should have to go through anything like that at all. I am also thinking you feel some sense of self worth now actually being able to talk about it and somewhat get through it. Hopefully you are emotionally ok now and this fool is out of your life.

@Meego Thank you for your kind words. And, yes, I’m doing much better but it’s taken a long time. I will always have some emotional issues but they are mostly manageable :)

As for my step mother ..she still exists and is married to my father. I didn’t talk to them for about 13 years after I left home. But, now we are on speaking terms only because I want a relationship with my dad. As for her ..she had 3 kids (my half siblings) after I left. Oddly enough they are spoiled and are on the other end of the spectrum of discipline. Those kids practically run that house. Go figure.

I do apologise if my longer post sounded soap boxish ..it upset me that some were taking the issue so lightly. I think many people don’t understand what it does to a person, especially when they’ve never experienced these things.

@PluckyDog: you are well named. Glad you are functional and are able to forgive her. Interesting that your dad never stepped in to stop her. A classic tale, sadly.

@skfinkel Thank you very much. For the first half of those years my dad was usually away from home working. The most he did to my sister and I were really hard whacks across the back of the head. But he would beat my brother pretty hard. As my step mother did, my dad spoiled his next 3 children (my 3 half siblings). My dad came from a very abusive and unstable household as well.

When you get down to the bare basics ..people are people. We all feel.

@PluckyDog no no no your response was just fine everyone is entitled to their own opinions, that is one reason why I ask questions. In my life I don’t think there is any wrong answers per say but there is learning experiences, just because we learn bad doesn’t mean we have to remain bad, we all have a choice, your stepmom really chose a bad one, why it sounds like she might have been angry about maybe the fact that your dad had children with someone else even though it’s a past thing, some people have many issues such as jealousy, insecurities, anger, fear, anxiety, stress and it usually ends up being taken out on the innocent parties. I’m glad you have turned out ok. And you have forgiven, it still never seems right