How do you calm down when you've got ants in your pants?

You can practice mindfulness, which is “bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis”. It helps to bring things into perspective.

@hawaii_jake Take a nice bubble bath, light some candles and listen to this :) sorry the video sucks but the music is soothing

Meditate. Belly breathing and meditation together works wonders.

Smoke Weed.

…Why the fuck would I want to calm down? I have fuckin’ ants in my pants. That’s real damn important and shouldn’t be dealt with through deep-breathing exercises, but rather through excessive force, quick thinking, and by screaming like a girl.

I take my dogs for a long walk on the moors. Lots of fresh air and exercise always do it for me.

Usually, something physical helps, so I think @Fred931‘s on to something. A quick walk, some jumping jacks, straightening up the kitchen, etc.

A fast walk helps me the most.

Stretching works wonders. I force myself to take it at a very slow, relaxed pace, complete with deep, slow breathing. Occasionally I will exhale with a soft shushing sound as if I am telling my mind and body to quiet themselves.

Chamomile tea, passion flower tea, will clam you down.

Put on some upbeat music and dance ‘til you’re out of breath (to shake the ants out). Then deep breathing ‘til your heart rate goes back to normal :)

I smoke a joint.

@augustlan Thanks for making me look like I was trying to be serious. :3