Time to think for yourself or take your mother's advice?

Definitely take her advice. Even if you don’t follow it, keep it around because it’s probably going to be useful.
Thinking for yourself isn’t a bad thing, per se, but why move blindly when you can draw from the aggregated experience of thousands of years of parenting?

Although it may be very difficult, starting to stand with your own opinions is very important. It’s a huge learning experience that nobody perfects. =P

Listen to what she and others say because most of the time it is very helpful, but when you disagree try to keep what they say in mind while doing what you think is best (because your opinion is important). She won’t always be around, so making your own decisions is important, and you will only get better. And remember, no one is right, just the older you get the more you see and understand.

Otherwise, if you’re going to be a new mother soon, congratulations, and good luck!

Listen to your mum always but also listen to your inner voice. There are some things that have changed over the years since your mum raised you (whether to lay a baby on its back/front while it sleeps etc.). You will develop a bond with your baby. You will become tuned into the best way to work together and learn from each other. Listen to your instincts. Trust them. Your mum will have wonderful advice too though and I am sure she will want to help you. In the end – decisions will be yours though. You are lucky to have a mum to share this with. Try to enjoy these special times but also trust yourself.

Thank you for all your responses. I will definitely keep my moms opinions in mind while learning from my own experiences :)

Do both. Make your own decisions, but take her advice into account. Do you understand why she tells you to do it this way? What is supposed to happen if you don’t? Are you sure enough about it? Is there a way to verify? Could there be better ways to achieve the same things?

She may have more experience, but she can still have things wrong without realising it. That happens to everyone. If you simply accept everything she says, you’ll end up following both her wisdom and her mistakes. You’ll have to find ways to tell them apart.

Experience has a way of making people believe the things that were right and true for them are the Ultimate Truth of the Universe. Beware of overgeneralisations. No one’s life experiences are a statistically reliable sample, there’s always a bias. If the conclusion has “always”, “never”, “everybody”, “all” or “the most” in it, take it with an appropriate grain of salt.
Especially when pronounced with solemn certainty.

@Fyrius said what I wanted to say in that you should do both. Parenting is different for different parents and their children. What was true for your mom and you may not be true for you and your child!

I have learned that I’m never the exception to the rule. That’s not to say that as an adult or a parent you should do everything exactly the way your mother says to do it. But before you make your own decision, you should make an effort to understand why someome suggests that you do something a certain way, and factor that reasoning into your own decision. “Because I said so” or “that’s what I think you should do” is not a valid answer to “why” when you ask people to explain their advice.

Likewise, you should be asking yourself “why” when you decided to do something, especially if you have a history of your own decisions not working out well. “Because I want to” is not exactly an answer to why something is a good decision. It’s important to be thoughtful when making decisions, and check impulsiveness.

That being said, you often learn more from correcting your mistakes than you do from doing things correctly. It’s always important to take the time to fix mistakes.

Thinking for yourself would most of the time end up in following her advice….

And when you don;t , then you have no problem because you have thought it out yourself.

I think I would always keep your mothers advice in your head – perhaps some things you might find useful – but for the most I would do what your heart tells you – just be yourself

My principles and mores are very similar to my moms but my parenting methods are radically different and she has commented more than once that I have/do a much better job of being a parent than she ever did and she was a good mom. Times are very different and my moms prolific use of corporal punishment has no place in my home. (hit it Frank….) I do it my way!!

@carsonsmom1

Try this on. How did you feel when you were growing up with all that your mother told you? Look deep within and investigate your view of the past. Now consider that from that view is who you have been being. Is there anything you feel that you would like to work on? How do you want your children to feel? If you want them to feel how you did growing up then listen to her. If you have a view that there are things that made you feel not so good then put them aside, start with a clean slate and create what you want for your children. And by the way you get to create who your children are for you. In other words you can create them to be magnificent, amazing, the best children there are and I love them because I say so. Now with what view you have is how you will interact with your children. So create them as the most amazing children that ever lived and then your actions will get results of the same. Help be the creator of your children.

Listen to what she says, reflect on your childhood, and think about which of the things she did worked when you were a child and which ones didn’t. Keep what you like, change what you don’t… but always keep her words in reserve because you never know what life is going to hand you.

The best advice I got from my mother was: “Always turn off the oven before martinis.”
Think for yourself. Mom’s advice was from the generation before hers when it comes to child rearing. Do the things she suggested if you agree that they worked. (You’re the proof of the pudding.) Follow your own instincts too. Don’t expect perfection. It’ll all work out.

@Sunny2 Lurve Your mom has a view of this world and she reacts to it with that view. That doesn’t make her wrong or right it makes her human and like Sunny said her view came from a different generation. So you have the opportunity to create your children and your view about them and then act with that view. Isn’t that what is perfect and just is what it is?

I listen to advice and then make my own decisions based on my life experiences. I’m usually right in what I do.

When I was younger I rarely listened to anyone with the exception of my mom. She was the type of person who rarely gave out advice. So when she did I stood up and took notice. One of the things she would never comment on was how I should be raising my children.

Hey wait a minute! “Think for yourself.” was mom’s advice.

We had an insightful refrigerator magnet once, years ago. It had a painting of a hen and a chick on the top, followed by the header, “Rules of the House.”
The first subheader read, “Rule No. 1: Your mother is always right.”
The second read, “Rule No. 2: If your mother is wrong, please refer to Rule No. 1.”

Useful info for a youngling, at once encouraging obedience and introducing the young reader to logical conundra.

Taking your mother’s advice doesn’t mean you aren’t thinking for yourself. And thinking for yourself doesn’t mean you ignore your mother’s advice.

Children should begin thinking for themselves long before they leave home (certainly long before they get pregnant!), otherwise how will they ever live on their own and take care of themselves?

Thinking for yourself means considering the advice of others, considering your own instincts, considering the specifics of the situation, mulling it all together, and picking out from all that the direction you will take: the direction you think is best.

If you haven’t started doing that yet, the time to start is now, seriously.

Don’t ever, EVER, do something with/to your child that you think is wrong, or that you haven’t thought through carefully. This is YOUR child, not your mother’s or anyone else’s. And only you will responsible for the things you do, not the person who told you to do it. So, time to take responsibility for yourself.